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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To enjoy going out without baby?

35 replies

anon65556565t65 · 04/02/2017 18:13

Anon as might be revealing my identify.

DS is just over 4 weeks old. He's combination fed (difficult birth recovery meant I expressed and DH fed him at first).

DH is fantastic and today I left them together to go shopping and out for lunch with a friend. Was out for about 5 hours in total.

I had a lovely time and felt like 'me' again. Was pleased to be reunited with DS but already planning my next outing.

Have had major judgement from two friends, and a neighbour I bumped in to who said they couldn't contemplate leaving their babies at such a young age. Neighbour said I was 'brave' for leaving baby at home with DH and her DH would never have coped Hmm

I feel guilty and like a terrible mother! And very selfish.

Aibu in needing time away from DS when he's still a baby?

OP posts:
NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 04/02/2017 18:15

Absolutely not, ignore anyone who tells you otherwise. You're still a person in your own right, not just a mum.

glueandstick · 04/02/2017 18:16

Just because you have a baby doesn't mean you no longer count as a person. If you want to leave him, do that. If you don't, you don't have to. Your husband is perfectly capable of looking after his own child.

They were being dicks. Crack on.

WorraLiberty · 04/02/2017 18:18

Oh ffs just ignore the judgey fuckers.

FineLookingHighHorse · 04/02/2017 18:18

This is a wind up, yes?

Cutesbabasmummy · 04/02/2017 18:19

I had to leave my DS at 2 weeks for 5 hours as I was very anaemic after I had him due to blood loss. I had to go back to the hospital for ivf iron. My parents looked after my baby. It sounds like you had a lovely time and you left DS with his daddy not any old person! Well done to his daddy for looking after him.so well! You will have to get used to the fact that the new you is a mummy though and your baby will always come first xx

Mol1628 · 04/02/2017 18:19

You didn't 'leave' your baby, he was with his dad. Ignore them.

notangelinajolie · 04/02/2017 18:19

Take no notice. Baby is safe and well. I am amazed at how many people think that having a baby means you have to live in a bubble.

Xmasbaby11 · 04/02/2017 18:20

There's nothing wrong with it at all but many mothers don't feel like leaving their babies at that age and that's OK too. My friend left her ds at 2 weeks and he screamed all evening. She still enjoyed her evening out. Personally I couldn't have enjoyed it .. it depends if your baby is easy or not!

Marmalade85 · 04/02/2017 18:20

How could this absolutely normal behaviour possibly reveal your identity?

measles64 · 04/02/2017 18:21

A break from babies makes you a better Mum if it makes you happy.

Sausagema · 04/02/2017 18:21

Ignore them. Your baby was with one of his parents, and sometimes you just need to breathe and be yourself for a wee while. Fuck sake, being a mum is a guilt fest enough without having other people piling it on for you.

BabyHamster · 04/02/2017 18:23

YANBU at all, don't give them another thought. I pity the woman who couldn't trust her DH to look after his own child Hmm.

I don't like this competitive "I couldnt bear to be away from my baby at all for the first eight months/three years/two decades" stuff which some mothers seem to go in for.

SheepyFun · 04/02/2017 18:23

My DH first took DD out on her own when she was just a week old (also combination fed) to give me a break. She was fine. I admit it took me a few more weeks to enjoy it, but we're all different. Ignore those judging you and enjoy going out!

corythatwas · 04/02/2017 18:26

Has your dh been brave yet and left his baby with you? Or doesn't that count somehow?

Iizzyb · 04/02/2017 18:27

Take no notice. How great that you can go out & do something like this. Reminds me of those people who say 'oh no I couldn't have a cleaner' - bet your husband will be chuffed that he had dc to himself and has a kickass dw who has more in her life than nappies..... xx

titsbumfannythelot · 04/02/2017 18:28

YANBU. They are being dicks for making you feel shitty. New babies are exhausting and it's nice to feel like yourself again. I would put another lunch in the diary.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 04/02/2017 18:30

Baby's needs were met by one of his parents. Smile

You are a person. You've become a mother, but you are still a person, and it's important to remain connected with that, especially if you've had a difficult time.

When the time to go solo is will depend on yours and baby's needs. Your feeding method gives you more freedom than exclusive breastfeeding. It took me a few months for the feeds to space out to be able to go out on my own, and it felt so liberating when I did.

Talith · 04/02/2017 18:30

YANBU. I bet you were knackered and feel much better for the break. It also really helps your dh get confident parenting a weeny one solo which means going forward you can both tag team to get space when needed.

SorrelSoup · 04/02/2017 18:31

Fuck em! You'll spend the rest of your life trying to escape your dc!!! I love a retail park at about 7pm, and "needing to pop out for bread". Keeps me sane.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 04/02/2017 18:31

Some folk are just twats. No, YANBU at all, in any way. It's not like you left your child with a random stranger, you left him with his dad.

Graphista · 04/02/2017 18:36

Judgmental arses! Unfortunately the saying 'a mothers place is in the wrong' is too often perpetuated by dicks like this - THEIR issue not yours.

I got judged for being the opposite! I didn't leave dd til she was nearly 3 months, I'd lost 3 to mc before her and almost lost her at several points inc the birth so I was (I think understandably) anxious yet I had a lot of criticism from people who either didn't have children Confused or who had been lucky enough to have no problems conceiving, with pregnancy or birth Hmm

Flat7Up · 04/02/2017 18:37

God no, I love leaving mine.

Girlsworld92 · 04/02/2017 18:38

Taking time for yourself keeps you sane. Today my DH took the kids to his parents, I've had my hair done and time in peace and quiet to get ready for a girls night out. I'm with them all the time and need me time too especially as my 2 yr old has discovered the art of tantrums

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/02/2017 18:40

DS happy?

DH happy?

You happy?

WTF does anyone else matter?

BitchQueen90 · 04/02/2017 18:41

I left my DS with his dad at 6 weeks for an evening out and had a lovely time.

Nobody bats an eyelid when the male parent wants time for himself! Enjoy it OP. The first few months of having a baby are tiring and full on, you deserve some downtime.

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