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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

terrified at trying for a baby at 38

46 replies

ambereeree · 02/02/2017 19:22

I want another dc, my dd is now 15 months but i so am terrified of not being able to get pregnant again, miscarriage or other age related issues; it's putting me off trying. Has anybody else felt like this or am I being a bit mad and overthinking?

OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 02/02/2017 19:27

I've just had my daughter at 38 and 10 months! My third pg and the quickest to catch.

Yes the risks increase with age but they are still low compared with the chance of having a perfectly normal pg, birth and baby.

Tallulahoola · 02/02/2017 19:43

I had a miscarriage at 36, baby at 38 and another at 41. So you're not too old, particularly given the fact you've been successfully pregnant before. But it's totally normal to worry. You just need to go for it, but with an acceptance that your risk of MC does go up with age. And if you do have a MC, hard as it is, don't think 'oh well that's it, I'm too old, it will never happen' because that's not true. Good luck!

Scrumptiousbears · 02/02/2017 19:45

I had my first baby at 39 and my second at 41. Both healthy pregnancies and they are scrumptious girls. Ok my first was a Clomid baby as I took 2 years without falling pregnant but my second was natural.

MrsSnow · 02/02/2017 19:47

I had ds at 39 and a half, ok it was with ivf but ds is strong and healthy. Do it.

Bubbinsmakesthree · 02/02/2017 19:52

I am pregnant at 39 with number 2.

First time round took ages to conceive (finally happened when we were on the brink of getting fertility treatment) and a complicated pregnancy with various concerns about the baby.

This time round we got pregnant first month of trying, no complications. NHS doesn't even treat you as an older mother any more until you're 40+.

Cakingbad · 02/02/2017 19:54

Loads of my friends have had babies in their early 40s. Good luck!

flownthecoopkiwi · 02/02/2017 19:57

Had ds at 40, ,no issues at all. Good luck!

MrsKoala · 02/02/2017 20:02

I'm 40 next week and dd is 13 weeks old. We may even have another next year. I got pregnant by accident the first time we'd done it in 6 months. Ds2 was born when I was 37 and ds1 when I was 35.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 02/02/2017 20:07

Well you have two choices: try for a baby or not try for a baby. You can't change your age.

Banana25 · 02/02/2017 20:53

I'm not your age, but I do completely understand the fear. The fear of both something going wrong, and letting others down. At some point, you need to decide if it's worth the risk of a miscarriage, or worth the risk of it being a struggle to conceive.

For what it's worth I think you should go for it.

mooninscorpio · 02/02/2017 20:59

I turned 39 while pregnant with DS, he is now 5 months & in perfect health. I actually found this pregnancy & recovery easier than with DD who I had at 30 Smile

Heatherbell1978 · 02/02/2017 21:05

I had DS when I was 36 after a mc at 8 weeks. I was a bit hesitant at trying again at 38 kind of assuming the same might happen but no, got pregnant the first month of trying and I'm due in 3 weeks (now 39). Go for it!

Original poster
ambereeree · 02/02/2017 21:10

Thank you for all your replies ladies. Yes I'm being a bit ridiculous but need to get a grip! Glad to hear so many positive older mum stories.

OP posts:
RhodaBorrocks · 02/02/2017 21:35

Late babies (after 38 - I don't even think that's late tbh) run in my family and are usually accidents because the women thought they were 'too old' to get pregnant. I'm kind of banking on that for if I get a chance to have a second (I'm 35 and got pregnant whilst using contraception 10 years ago).

anonymice · 02/02/2017 21:38

Had DD2 at 38. She is fine. Good luck OP.

DappledThings · 02/02/2017 21:41

Will be 38 in June and hoping to be pregnant with DC2 around about then. Turned 37 while pregnant with CD1 and my age has bothered me less as I've got older!

liz70 · 02/02/2017 21:41

I had DD3 a fortnight shy of turning 39. It was the easiest pregnancy and delivery of all three, despite my not having been pregnant for over eight years beforehand.

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter · 02/02/2017 21:42

Had my dd ( first baby) at 39 years old last August

PacificDogwod · 02/02/2017 21:42

It doesn't matter whether you are 21 or 45: none of us know what our fertility is like until we try to use it.

Yes, there is no arguing with fertility and secondary fertility does exist and all the heartache that brings, but unless you make that leap of faith and go for it, you'll never know.

Fwiw, I had DS4 a few weeks before my 44th birthday. I had had several MCs but all before I had had DS1 aged 37.

Only you can manage your anxiety and it IS scary, I know it is.

Good luck Thanks

SecretWitch · 02/02/2017 21:44

I had my third child at 42. I had no problems conceiving or carrying pregnancy to term.

MsJudgemental · 02/02/2017 21:47

I had my only child after IVF/ICSI at 38, and he's 17 tomorrow!

liz70 · 02/02/2017 21:56

Also, I was in perimenopause by 42, and haven't used any contraception since I was 40. I'm now 46, nothing since DD3, so she is definitely my last; no babies in my 40s for me. My point being that you don't know when the well will run dry, so if you want water, lower the bucket while you can. Smile

ruthsmumkath · 02/02/2017 22:14

Had dc 3 at 381/2 and d 4 at 42.

I had one dc3 on attempt no2 and dc4 on attempt no3.

No point worrying Smile

OreoHeaven · 02/02/2017 23:12

I had my third child four weeks before I turned 40! Go for it!

Amber76 · 02/02/2017 23:33

If you want one stop wasting time. I was perimenopausal at 38.

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