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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say no to this cheeky request

57 replies

Timeforausernamechange · 20/01/2017 21:32

My Dad and his partner have form for being very, very stingy. They are 70s retired with enough cash to head abroad several times a year but will argue for ages over ordering in a cafe for the sake of a few pence. It is embarrassing and my dads partner is getting worse and worse.

The relationship is strained to say the least anyway... and I am on the verge of going NC. Now though they have called up to ask for the following.

They are planning a trip to an island off the coast of the UK and are trying to avoid paying for the notoriously expensive ferry over. They think it is too expensive to take their car across so have asked me to ask my PiL if they can leave their car on PiLs drive for a week. PiLs live in the town where the ferry goes from.

I know his parents would feel obliged if we asked and I don't like being put in the middle. I think my Dad and partner are being massively cheeky and so does DH who has refused to ask his parents.

Are we BU to let our antipathy towards dad and his partner to say no? Or is this actually a reasonable request.?

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 20/01/2017 21:34

Has your Dad met your in laws?

If so I don't think it's massively cheeky...... it does cost quite a lot to take a car on a ferry, but if your DH won't ask then surely that's the end of it?

Is there no on street parking that they can use?

19lottie82 · 20/01/2017 21:35

Just say that they have 2 cars and use the drive so unfortunately there won't be space for another car......

Politix · 20/01/2017 21:36

On the face of it it doesn't sound particularly cheeky. If your DH doesn't want to ask his parents them just say that it's not practical at the moment.

expatinscotland · 20/01/2017 21:36

You just tell them NO.

donegalhols · 20/01/2017 21:39

yanbu

CruCru · 20/01/2017 21:39

Won't they need the car on the island?

glueandstick · 20/01/2017 21:41

IoW? Public transport is quite good(ish) there.

A bit cheeky if they don't know them well. And if they do know them, they should ask themselves!

expatinscotland · 20/01/2017 21:51

'I think my Dad and partner are being massively cheeky and so does DH who has refused to ask his parents.'

Then that should be the end of it.

Chewbecca · 20/01/2017 21:53

How big is their drive? If it is large and won't inconvenience them at all, then I don't see why not.

BackforGood · 20/01/2017 21:54

Yes, YABU, if your PiLs have space, why on earth wouldn't you ? Confused
It seems like a practical suggestion to me, not a 'cheeky request' at all.

mum2Bomg · 20/01/2017 21:56

Sounds fine to me. If someone else asked would you feel the same? A friend perhaps?

limitedperiodonly · 20/01/2017 21:57

If they don't know your inlaws well enough to ask for themselves, then they should offer a parking fee. I'm sure there are are many other people who would pay to leave their cars on the drive while they hop over to this island.

hoddtastic · 20/01/2017 21:59

they aren't expecting a lift to/from the ferry are they?

ollieplimsoles · 20/01/2017 21:59

Hmm, I cant see anything wrong here, are they familiar with your inlaws?

They should offer to pay for the privilege out of courtesy though

LucklessMonster · 20/01/2017 22:00

If it wouldn't inconvenience your in laws then I don't see the problem.

abbsisspartacus · 20/01/2017 22:01

My relative has space for about six cars on her drive and lives alone I would ask her as she really wouldn't notice but if it's going to be in the way I wouldn't

Phalenopsisgirl · 20/01/2017 22:01

It obviously is cheeky, if it wasn't they would ask themselves.

AdoraBell · 20/01/2017 22:01

They are adults therefore they can make the call and ask for the huge favour their bloody selves.

YANBU, and well done to DH for refusing to facilitate their brass necked attitude.

Ginkypig · 20/01/2017 22:03

It depends on the circumstances and how close the relationships are I think.

My sister and Bil parked outside my house for 5 days as she didn't wa to pay airport parking.
I didn't mind but I was slightly annoyed that although she asked (the night before) she had already booked the taxi to pick her up outside mine so obviously assumed rather than genuinely asked but ultimately she's my sister and it meant she could enjoy being away with less worry.

witsender · 20/01/2017 22:09

Doesn't seem massively cheeky, but if it is Southampton or Portsmouth there are lots of car parks for long term. But tbh, by the time you tot up public transport over here they are better off taking the ferry. There are discount codes around too.

However, I appreciate that this comes with a massive history of pisstaking. Their request doesn't sound unreasonable at all, in a normal family.

Original poster
Timeforausernamechange · 20/01/2017 22:10

Thank you. They have met twice. Once was our wedding. They are not close and my dad has never been to their house. The drive is sufficiently large that PiL would be able to squeeze their cars past a parked one... so mild inconvenience rather than impractical.

I have suggested that they might need to take their car for transport on the island or they could take the train from home...

OP posts:
EndoplasmicReticulum · 20/01/2017 22:11

If it is the IOW they might be surprised how much it costs to go over as a passenger! Also the buses aren't the cheapest.

Tell them they can get a cheaper deal with the ferry if they travel in the middle of the night.

LemonyFresh · 20/01/2017 22:18

IoW hotels also often do cheaper ferry when you book with them.

Also there are 3 car ferry ports - find the cheapest and travel from there.

Public transport is expensive and a PITA. Taxis are also expensive and non existent when you need them!

(If this is the Isle of Wight we're talking about! ) Smile

Iggi999 · 20/01/2017 22:18

I would do this for a friend of a friend (or a relative of a relative). I think your general annoyance with them is clouding your view on this.

Witchend · 20/01/2017 22:21

I don't think it's particularly cheeky assuming your pil's have space on the drive for the extra car.
I would put that in the reasonable request category if someone asked and not mind a bit.

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