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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To say no to this cheeky request

57 replies

Timeforausernamechange · 20/01/2017 21:32

My Dad and his partner have form for being very, very stingy. They are 70s retired with enough cash to head abroad several times a year but will argue for ages over ordering in a cafe for the sake of a few pence. It is embarrassing and my dads partner is getting worse and worse.

The relationship is strained to say the least anyway... and I am on the verge of going NC. Now though they have called up to ask for the following.

They are planning a trip to an island off the coast of the UK and are trying to avoid paying for the notoriously expensive ferry over. They think it is too expensive to take their car across so have asked me to ask my PiL if they can leave their car on PiLs drive for a week. PiLs live in the town where the ferry goes from.

I know his parents would feel obliged if we asked and I don't like being put in the middle. I think my Dad and partner are being massively cheeky and so does DH who has refused to ask his parents.

Are we BU to let our antipathy towards dad and his partner to say no? Or is this actually a reasonable request.?

OP posts:

Highalert · 20/01/2017 22:21

I dont see a problem with this if there's room on their drive.

It's nice to be nice sometimes.

witsender · 20/01/2017 22:23

Remember we don't really have trains here. So we have a very good, frequent bus service but it is expensive. If they are planning on the jet you're looking at 40odd for the 2 of them, an extra tenner and they have a late car ferry.

glitterazi · 20/01/2017 22:26

I can't see why they're being thought of as cheeky. It's worth an ask if they're living in the same town as the ferry goes from, surely?!
If you don't want to then fair enough, They're not being cheeky though.

PotatoWaffleCob · 20/01/2017 22:26

Sounds fair enough to me. As an isolated request, I don't think it's that cheeky. The cafe situation would really annoy me though.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 20/01/2017 22:28

Another one who doesn't think it sounds particularly outrageous.

Ruprecthepanbasher · 20/01/2017 22:28

Hmm, we have a large drive and occasionally my parents or siblings park their car on our drive when they go away for a week (saving money on airport car parking). As long as we can get our own cars on and off the drive easily then it's fine with us. If I wasn't keen on them like the OP and her dad, then I may think differently!

Chloe84 · 20/01/2017 22:33

Not that cheeky, but I can see how their stingy ways would colour your view of this.

Would they do this for your PIL?

TheMysteriousJackelope · 20/01/2017 22:35

It sounds OK if they have room on their drive.

Maybe they think it would be better for your DH to ask as his parents are more likely to answer honestly to him about their feelings on the subject. They might feel obligated to let your father and his OH park if they asked them directly.

If it means moving the car every time your inlaws go in or out then obviously it just isn't going to work.

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 20/01/2017 22:36

I would give them PIL's phone number and leave them to it, they are all adults and do not need you to act as a go between. You could maybe warn PIL and tell them you think it is a cheeky request but it is their decision.

EineKleine · 20/01/2017 22:36

The inconvenience of people doing this (I live near an airport) is not so much the driveway space but the fact that the home owners then end up offering to drop them down to the terminal, and pick them up, possibly complete with hanging around for a while and/or early morning starts if the travellers have booked cheapy awkwardly timed flights.

I'm more than happy to do this and more for my family and friends, and I love seeing them. However IF your PIL are the kind of people who would end up also offering their "guests" lifts, cups of tea etc, I would suggest you don't give your relatives a chance to take the proverbial mile.

If it is the IOW I would strongly recommend they take their car anyway.

Italiangreyhound · 20/01/2017 22:40

The people you would be asking are your husband's parents. If he does not want to ask them, then I would not.

Italiangreyhound · 20/01/2017 22:41

If it is the IoW I cannot imagine going all over the island on public transport!

mumofthemonsters808 · 20/01/2017 22:42

I don't think it's an unreasonable request, it's nothing major they are asking for. I'd tell them to contact your in laws direct to make the necessary arrangements.

empirerecordsrocked · 20/01/2017 22:44

If there's room on the drive I can't see the problem.

Oldraver · 20/01/2017 22:49

I am still reeling at the cost of going to the IOW on foot.

Still, they are being cheeky fuckers. If they are determined to go as foot passengers they will have to fork out for car parking at the ferry terminal..if you can park for the whole week

OlennasWimple · 20/01/2017 22:54

If it's the IOW, it will cost almost as much in bus fares as taking the car on the ferry. Nevermind getting to the ferry (taxi? Asking the PIL?), getting to their accommodation at the other end with cases etc etc

If your DH thinks it's cheeky - and therefore it's a fair bet that his parents will think it's cheeky - then you just need to tell them that it won't work, unfortunately.

Bushymuffmum · 20/01/2017 23:03

This isnt unreasonable at all in my opinion. Wouldn't it be silly to leave their car in a car park or pay for the ferry if their dd's pil has a conveniently located large driveway? I don't see why they would mind and there's no harm asking. Your dp's are probably thinking it perfectly ok to ask because they'd do the same themselves I suspect?

TreeTop7 · 20/01/2017 23:05

I think it's a reasonable request as long as your Pils are not inconvenienced. Your dad and his partner will give them some flowers or a bottle of wine to show their appreciation, hopefully.

Izzabellasasperella · 20/01/2017 23:14

If your Dad and partner are pensioners they have free bus travel don't they? So no worries about the cost of buses.
I don't think it's a very cheeky request.

PyongyangKipperbang · 20/01/2017 23:26

You dont want to ask and DH refuses to so "Sorry no, thats not possible" end of.

Its not cheeky from a reasonable person who would ask and offer money or some other favour in return. It is cheeky from someone who has been such an asshole that their DD is on the verge of going NC with them.

Original poster

Timeforausernamechange · 21/01/2017 07:58

Your dad and his partner will give them some flowers or a bottle of wine to show their appreciation

This is the problem. They wouldn't think this necessary... or if they did the resulting offering would be so cheap as to be offensive.

OP posts:

CactusFred · 21/01/2017 08:06

It is cheeky. However if you dad wasn't like he is and had asked would you have an issue with it then?

If there's room on the drive I don't see why doing a favour for a family member is a bad thing!

coconutpie · 21/01/2017 08:12

YANBU. Say no.

ThoraGruntwhistle · 21/01/2017 08:33

It's your husband's parents, he thinks it's rude to ask them. End of story. And they need to stop squeezing the pennies until they creak.

CripsSandwiches · 21/01/2017 08:44

I think EineKleine has a good point. If I had the driveway space I wouldn't mind at all but are they going to be expecting to come in for tea/lunch and get picked up and dropped off at the port?

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