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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think I'm a bit in trouble

77 replies

oregon1985 · 17/01/2017 15:14

I'll try and keep it very short. Just ended a long relationship. Just moved to a new town with him, new job etc. I'm Staying with someone I know in the town at the moment but I can only stay for a week.
I have friends in my home town I can stay with for a while but obviously not forever, but no job there. I have a lot of debt that I'm already on payment plans for. So my credit is bad so I won't be able to rent. I have no family or friends willing to be guarantor. I don't know what to do, my money will run out soon. I'm royally screwed aren't I?

OP posts:

harderandharder2breathe · 17/01/2017 15:21

Don't give up on the idea of renting with bad credit, I do! The last place I had asked for a guarantor but my current (nicer) flat didn't. All they cared about was that my salary could afford the rent (and it was a ridiculous calculation that they used, something like that the rent was less than 1/2 of my total gross income. Which if it was I couldn't afford bills!

statetrooperstacey · 17/01/2017 15:28

I would look in the small ads gum tree etc for a room in a house just for now to give you breathing space, is it worth pricing up a travel lodge weekly room rates you might be surprised ?

statetrooperstacey · 17/01/2017 15:30

Mention it at work ask friends of friends if they know of anyone with a spare room for a couple of months as a lodger? Basically put the word out, good luck

TheNaze73 · 17/01/2017 15:30

Maybe look at spare room?

Shared house short term could help

Original poster

oregon1985 · 17/01/2017 15:34

I dont have a job anymore, I've had to tell them I've got to leave the town. I can't even work my notice :/ I will hopefully find a new one fairly quick.

OP posts:

VimFuego101 · 17/01/2017 15:37

Short term, what about live in bar work or other residential job that will provide you with accommodation? Search on Gumtree.

Lweji · 17/01/2017 15:49

Did you have to flee from him?

Have you tried Women's Aid? It looks like you could use help.

Contact the council and CAB to start with. Explain your homelessness.

Start looking for a job asap.

Original poster

oregon1985 · 17/01/2017 15:57

No I didn't flee from him, it just didn't work out, it was a 6 year relationship. But I wasn't going to stay just because I might have been in money trouble if I didn't, that would be unfair on him and bit of a shit thing to do.
I will look into live in jobs thank you I didn't think of that !

OP posts:

Clandestino · 17/01/2017 15:58

Sorry, but you just had a job at 15.14 and now you have none. In that case you can go back and stay with your family? Or is there a reason they wouldn't welcome you back?

joystir59 · 17/01/2017 16:04

You are on the brink of homelessness, oregon1985 so I would think very carefully before choosing any option other than returning to your family, or taking your job back immediately and sofa surfing until you can rent. It sounds as if you are not very in control of your life right now- why not go home and take a few deep breaths and work out what you really want and how to get it- you are self sabotaging by the sound of it. Counselling helped me get out of this kind of pattern- your doctor can refer you for this.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 17/01/2017 16:12

I am bit puzzled why you've given up your job rather than looking for options where you currently lived. Was the break up sudden or unexpected, otherwise wouldn't you have thought about what happened afterwards.
I agree with a PP that you need to stop and think about your next steps rather than leaping reactively from one crisis to another.

Original poster

oregon1985 · 17/01/2017 16:16

Ok. Sorry I've not been clear.
I moved here with him for his new job. I got a new job here too.
We broke up, I can only stay with the friend I am staying with now for a week.
I don't want to stay in this town because I know no one other than my friend.
Moving back gives me the option of staying with my hometown friends for a while longer to sort myself out.
I don't have any family at all.
I've had to quit my job because after this week I am homeless in this town.

OP posts:

Original poster

oregon1985 · 17/01/2017 16:17

It was sudden. I really can't get into why we broke up but I can say I'm not fleeing from him or anything like that and no one cheated.

OP posts:

Lweji · 17/01/2017 16:18

It's not very clear, sorry.
You're still in the same town, but can only stay one week and your notice period is longer?
Or are you back in your home town?

Of course you didn't have to stay in the relationship, but you shouldn't have to become suddenly homeless because it ended. Particularly if you moved town because of him.

Have you already left your job?

Lweji · 17/01/2017 16:19

Sorry, cross post.

Original poster

oregon1985 · 17/01/2017 16:21

I am in the new town until the end of the week.

OP posts:

DoIDareDisturbTheUniverse · 17/01/2017 16:23

What a strange post. Lots of inconsistencies
Why couldn't you stay in the house you were renting together, until you found somewhere else? That's usually what happens in the event of an amicable break up, unless you're fleeing, and you've said you're not.

Original poster

oregon1985 · 17/01/2017 16:26

We were both staying with the friend I'm with now until we found a place.
We broke up.
He has gone to his parents.
I'm honestly not lying or whatever it is you think I'm doing.
I'm very confused about how I can find somewhere to live with bad credit. That's all I was asking about really.

OP posts:

DoIDareDisturbTheUniverse · 17/01/2017 16:27

You moved to a new town for a new job without finding anywhere to live?

ComtesseDeSpair · 17/01/2017 16:28

I'm not quite understanding what the big need to move back right away is. You have a job in your current town, even if you don't want to live in this town long-term. You can look on Gumtree or Spare Room etc for a flatshare, move in there (or sleep on the sofa in the place you currently share with your ex - if it's an amicable break-up, surely that's an option?) and then start searching and applying for new jobs in your old town. When you're offered one, you can make arrangements to move back there. Why on earth pack in a job (making yourself ineligible for Jobseekers Allowance, by the way) and make yourself homeless? Can you sit down with the friend you've mentioned and draw up a plan of action with some bite-size stages to manage it in?

Lumberries · 17/01/2017 16:28

Hm, this is a bit odd.

If it's an amicable break up why didn't you stay with him until you were able to move back home?

What percentage of your income monthly was taken up by debt repayments?

When you say bad credit, do you mean you have CCJ's etc or just that you have a lot of debt but are repaying currently? Have you defaulted?

You can go back to your hometown and stay with friends for a bit longer? Do that. Are you in a field that allows you to find a new job quickly? Is there likely to be a job in your field in your hometown? Can you start looking now?

Original poster

oregon1985 · 17/01/2017 16:29

Yes. Because his job started immediately and a friend offered to put us up until our payday from our last job.
I honestly just wanted to know about living options with bad credit. I didn't want to be picked apart. I'm honestly having the worst week and just needed advice.

OP posts:

EvieSparkles0x · 17/01/2017 16:30

Oh dear,

It sounds like you've been panicked by your situation and have made some whirlwind decisions because of it.

Have you definitively handed in your notice/resigned from work, or is this just your plan? If you've already told them, are you able to just be open/blunt with them and apologise, say you broke up from your long term relationship and see if you can backtrack at all?

Your relationship with your ex seems pretty amicable. If you live together in the town where you both work, and have no other friends/family involved, it would be pretty standard to stay in your home, sleeping on the sofa etc. until you rent yourself a room or get yourself a job back home, or move in with family.

Unless you had an extremely bitter breakup (which it doesn't sound like youd did) then there is no reason to throw yourself into this extremely difficult position which could potentially land you in a ton of debt with very little prospects. Is staying with him an option, even just until you can serve your notice at work if remaining under their emply is a no go? Sounds like a tough situation

ScoopyDoo · 17/01/2017 16:30

You can often rent a room in a houseshare or similar without a credit check - as pp have said, Gumtree is good for this.

ComtesseDeSpair · 17/01/2017 16:31

What's the rental market like in these areas you live in and want to live in? Credit checks only really apply with agencies, a lot of landlords who manage their own lets don't conduct then - look on Gumtree and in local classifieds. Same with housesharing, if you're a lodger in somebody's home they usually don't credit check, just ask to see prof of employment and income.

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