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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think I'm a bit in trouble

77 replies

oregon1985 · 17/01/2017 15:14

I'll try and keep it very short. Just ended a long relationship. Just moved to a new town with him, new job etc. I'm Staying with someone I know in the town at the moment but I can only stay for a week.
I have friends in my home town I can stay with for a while but obviously not forever, but no job there. I have a lot of debt that I'm already on payment plans for. So my credit is bad so I won't be able to rent. I have no family or friends willing to be guarantor. I don't know what to do, my money will run out soon. I'm royally screwed aren't I?

OP posts:
KayTee87 · 17/01/2017 16:57

How long will you be able to stay with these friends back in your old town?
Start applying for stuff in your old town asap. If I were you I wouldn't add your latest job to your cv as leaving after a week won't look good. Sign up to some recruitment agencies and start looking on gumtree for landlords / rooms to let.
Take a deep breath, write a list of everything you need to do and work your way down it.
Flowers

Shakey15000 · 17/01/2017 16:58

Just be wary of rental scams on Gumtree

Original poster
oregon1985 · 17/01/2017 16:59

Thank you ☺️
I have been searching all day for the different jobs in my hometown. Applied for some online. I have also printed off a loads of cvs to drop around town when I go back at the end of the week.

OP posts:
Lumberries · 17/01/2017 17:00

I agree the reason isn't relevant, but after 6 years surely he's aware of the situation you're now in and would want to help?

You'll often need a deposit for a house share, do you have one together? You wont want to take out another loan so whats the likelihood of you getting one together while you live with friends?

You're homeless technically but because you left your job you wont qualify for JSA, but maybe the council will help house you back at home?

They back filled your role in a week? what type of work was it?

KayTee87 · 17/01/2017 17:03

lumberries in most jobs surely the new start is there to do a handover with the person leaving...so would already be filled?

Lumberries · 17/01/2017 17:05

SHe said she didn't work her notice and left in a hurry, if she'd only been there a week there wouldn't be time to re-hire and handover unless she literally handed her notice in on the first day.

I'm a manager and do hiring etc regularly, unless it's very casual work you'd struggle in get a hiring code and a contract in a month let alone a week.

itsgoodtobehome · 17/01/2017 17:06

Why did you quit your job just because your relationship failed? Surely that is the thing you will need to most at this point if you are to become financially independent?

FrogFairy · 17/01/2017 17:07

Do you have to stay there until the end of this week?

If your friend in your home town could take you in now, you could get cracking handing out those CVs and will surely feel better being in familiar surroundings with good mates nearby.

Sounds like the sooner you head home the better.

Good luck OP, sounds like you have had a rough hand in life thus far and I wish you well for the future.

MagicChicken · 17/01/2017 17:08

Why do you keep saying you don't want to talk about why you broke up? I don't think anyone has actually asked you why you broke up, have they? Confused

hooliodancer · 17/01/2017 17:10

Magic chicken how the fuck can you be bemused that some people have no family? People are in foster care, or adopted or have parents who have no family and parents die. All sorts of reasons.

Or some people have no family who care. Or the family are cunts.

Your lack of empathy is quite staggering.

OP it sounds like a tough time for you, and people seem to be questioning rather than helping you. A house share may be the way to go as others have said, or a live in job short term while you save up a bigger deposit ( sometimes they accept double the deposit if you fail the credit check)

KayTee87 · 17/01/2017 17:12

lumberry it was the job in her old town she was referring to that had been filled.

Pigflewpast · 17/01/2017 17:12

God you're getting a hard time on here. I imagine you're feeling absolutely awful after the sudden end of such a long relationship, and being stuck in a new town with no friends. Going home to stay with friends and find a job sounds a really good idea. If you are still struggling to find a rental property when you get a job I'd ask at your local CAB as they must deal with people with poor credit needing accommodation all the time.
Hope you get sorted quickly, and make time for yourself to get over the relationship too, that on it's own isn't easy without all the mess that's come with it.

hooliodancer · 17/01/2017 17:12

Also, contact housing associations. Sometimes they have house shares- depends on the housing association.

Original poster
oregon1985 · 17/01/2017 17:12

Oh sorry I though she meant the job I was in in my old town.
Anyway, thanks for all the advice I will be looking at room shares when I move back.

OP posts:
Original poster
oregon1985 · 17/01/2017 17:15

pigflewpast I haven't even had time to let it sink in yet. I am devestated but I know is for the best and after everything I just wanted to be in my hometown where i know people and not in a town, alone, and sad.

OP posts:
TeethDrama · 17/01/2017 17:26

Look for a new job immediately (try temping agencies first?) and I personally would look to rent a room or be a lodger.

Is it right you have no money backup, no friends, no family and no job because you don't have a home? Have you actually given up your job yet? Surely you could get a room in a house just for a while, and keep your job? You can't let go of your job AND your home at the same time, and you don't have anybody who can lend you something short term, be it money or a fortnight in their spare room?

I don't know what else to advise but is there a YWCA or a Women's Aid organisation you can contact?

PollyPerky · 17/01/2017 17:26

You ought not to have handed in your notice so quickly. With a job you'd have some space to decide what to do as you'd have money coming in. You can make fresh starts in life you know in new places.

How old are you?

So you lived together for a week and after 6 years being a couple you have split? Is it permanent? Is there no way you can re-think this? It all sounds terribly knee-jerk with no planning on either side.

PollyPerky · 17/01/2017 17:29

Teeth most house shares ask for a month's rent in advance, the current month's rent and a deposit of a month' rent so it could be £1K+ depending on location.

OP- you have made yourself homeless. Without a home and an address you can't get a job or benefits of any kind. You need to stay put where you are until you find work of some kind.

IlPorcupinoNilSodomyEst · 17/01/2017 17:29

Have a look in the local paper when you go back to our original town - house shares / rooms will be advertised there. Good luck Flowers

itsgoodtobehome · 17/01/2017 17:59

You say that OP is getting a hard time on here, but you have to be grown up about these things. OP is clearly mature enough to have been in a 6 year relationship, so she should be mature enough to think of the consequences of jacking in her job and making herself homeless as soon as the relationship fails. Take some responsibility and be an adult.

BillSykesDog · 17/01/2017 18:08

Get an airbnb. They don't credit check and you can often stay longish term at short notice. Start looking for a job in your home town. When you have one get another airbnb there and sort out renting a room. You can do all that without a credit check.

If you have no family you would be very stupid to jack your job in and just go back. You won't be entitled to any benefits because you've quit your job and you won't be entitled to housing assistance as a single woman. Hospitality of friends can run out very quickly and you would have left yourself in an awful position, potentially having to go into night shelters and beg.

Be sensible here, staying in this town short term until you've sorted out a way to return will be nowhere as bad as the problems you could potentially create just walking away.

Babyhiccups · 17/01/2017 18:09

Oregon - I've had payment plans before and a mobile phone contract is considered 'a line of credit' that you could run up into a debt, hence why you would have been turned down for one. However, I don't think this extends to renting a property.

hooliodancer · 17/01/2017 18:25

A friend of mine did air b and b for over a year!

MNHQ
KatherineMumsnet · 17/01/2017 18:57

Hi all,

We just wanted to hop on to say that (and we're not insinuating anything here) we do advise all our members to be aware that not everyone on t'internet is who they say they are, and that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare. Flowers

Original poster
oregon1985 · 17/01/2017 21:52

I'm not sure what that message was aimed at? I never asked for money?
Just advice.
Anyway, hometown friend has said I can stay as long as I need and can use their address for Job purposes. I've applied for a few jobs online this evening and Im going to be dropping cvs in when I travel back at the end of the week.
I really do appreciate the advice I've been given, I found it so useful.
I am aware I acted very rashly but I panicked and it's done now.
Anyway, I really do appreciate everyone who helped thank you.

OP posts: