Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To secretly hope he doesn't pass?

31 replies

Slimjimeeeeee · 15/01/2017 01:00

I feel like a horrible person saying this -I probably am one!

But recently started a new job and there's a jumped-up 18 year old who started too, on a different scheme. He's ok but very very confident - to the point of being annoying! He leaves when he wants, sometimes at 3, he choose to work from home etc etc - decisions we can't really do at our level, but he frequently takes the piss and pushes it!

He's very flirty with another girl I joined with and it's all a bit much sometimes - save it for lunchtime, sometimes it's like a school playground/common room. It rankles because others in our (v professional) workplace seem to find him/the behaviour hilarious and let it slide, without speaking to him about it!

My main point is that he's due to take a big exam soon, which he's already taken twice before and failed. Much as I don't want to wish him badly, he's had so many opportunities and hasn't really worked hard enough so far for it. If he fails, that's it for the job. Is it wrong that I'm not necessarily desperate for him to pass (and stay)? Blush

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 15/01/2017 01:06

I think technically YABU for obvious reasons, but it's understandable.

You can 'hope he fails' guilt free though because your hopes are going to have no impact whatsoever. If he fails it's because he didn't work hard or wasn't good enough. Nothing to do with you hoping he fails!

HarrietSchulenberg · 15/01/2017 01:07

It's probably a bit uncharitable but I'd be thinking the same.
It would do him some good in the long term.

DailyFail1 · 15/01/2017 01:11

Is he on a fast track to management scheme? Many apprentices are. Most companies (including PWC etc )find them really, really good, and will often find them out of scheme jobs even when they fail exams. Certainly explains why he gets special treatment you don't. My advice is not to show your displeasure openly because if he does get promoted he could very well make your life hell.

Original poster
Slimjimeeeeee · 15/01/2017 01:13

Thanks but I'm on an equal/better grad scheme which promotes within a shorter timeframe. I would never express my displeasure openly! I'm very nice to him at work

OP posts:
sniffle12 · 15/01/2017 01:23

I work with someone just the same, treats work like uni and spends more time flirting with girls and expanding his social network than working. Leaves as soon as the first person leaves each day even if he was in after everybody else - we have flexible working hours to an extent which he uses to fly under the radar. Like you I would never say anything but it doesn't feel quite fair when we are doing our time and taking the job seriously.

You can probably bet though that if you have noticed it, so have others including managers.

DailyFail1 · 15/01/2017 01:35

So OP are you on the grad scheme and he on an apprentice scheme? Could you be feeling resentment because you feel you've worked harder than him? Not being goady, just posing the question as it happens a lot in my workplace. My employers are stricter with graduate trainees because they get paid more, and also get better development support/allowances, and so need to provide more value for money. On the other side of the coin, apprentices are paid less to start but are offered more flexibility to help them develop.

Original poster
Slimjimeeeeee · 15/01/2017 01:39

No resentment at all - we've both worked just as hard, I really don't let things like that bother me. I think I just find it galling that he pushes boundaries and gets away with a hell of a lot in the process! And that others' react by laughing it off/bonding with him about it!

OP posts:
DailyFail1 · 15/01/2017 01:46

So why don't you ask for the same privileges? If he's getting them then surely they are available for everyone? Sometimes you have to ask/push to get!

Mindtrope · 15/01/2017 01:48

You feel threatened by an 18 year old?

Good luck to him.

How old are you OP? You sound very immature.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 15/01/2017 01:50

What are management thinking of. They allow an 18 year old to rule the roost abs decide when Hes going home. I'm 41. If I started dictating to my manager. I'd expect to be sacked.
They need to man up and he needs to pipe the fuck down. Confidence is one thing arrogance is another.

kiwimumof2boys · 15/01/2017 01:53

YANBU !
He's already failed twice, yet still working the same role? Confused (Sorry feel to correct me on that one)

DailyFail1 · 15/01/2017 02:34

kiwimumof2boys Graduate schemes often have a 1-2 strikes and you're out policy because they have a degree and it's assumed (rightly in my opinion) that if they can't pass a professional exam then they aren't right for the graduate role. Apprentice schemes can be more flexible as these youngsters don't have formal qualifications/be used to studying & so often need more attempts. They do start on a much lower salary so it balances out.

It's possible for a lot of 18 year olds to go into law/accounting/investment banking as apprentices, and in my experince these kids are often very good and more likely to be committed for life than a graduate. Several hedgefund managers in my company, for example, came up through apprentice schemes that combined degrees and professional accreditations with real work experience.

SheSaidNoFuckThat · 15/01/2017 03:08

You're posts read as jealous and two faced, nothing else

paxillin · 15/01/2017 03:28

You don't sound much older than 18 yourself.

GloriousGusset · 15/01/2017 03:34

YANBU

Wish him all the very best etc. etc. but hope he's as successful as Eddie the Eagle.I hear ya OP.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/01/2017 03:38

I can understand why you're cross. Do your best to ignore him. Given time you or he will either leave the company or be transferred to a different department.

AmeliaJack · 15/01/2017 04:37

I can see that he's annoying but I can't particularly see why it's bothering you so much - it doesn't seem to be directly impacting your work.

You will never like everyone in your office, that's fine you aren't required to. Just ensure that you are behaving professionally and ignore him.

He won't progress if he's swinging the lead.

Want2bSupermum · 15/01/2017 04:47

I assume you work for big4. I'm in the US and they don't have the apprentice scheme but I've had two kids come over who qualified through it. Both were excellent and I took them on because they had first time passes. I passed on a few of them because they had horrible attitudes. I honestly thought they were the kids of clients and that's why they were there. I'm now more experienced and honestly what you are seeing is the old boys network in action. It sucks.

daisychain01 · 15/01/2017 05:15

Having been on a grad scheme, reality well and truly kicks in when you've done your 3 years, exit the scheme into the real world and have to deliver, deliver, deliver. Then you're on your own.

That goes for both of you.

So I would be a little careful with who you are focussing on, and be careful what you wish for....

UnicornButtplug · 15/01/2017 05:25

He sounds a pain in the ass and I can see why you feel this way. Probably the son of someone important. We have them in our place and all they do is upset the team balance with their entitled behaviour.

Yanbu, smile, wish him good luck and cross your fingers for a less than perfect result.

Darlink · 15/01/2017 05:34

That's pretty mean

RachelRagged · 15/01/2017 09:56

Two faced there OP . You are nice to him in the office yet bitching about him behind his back on here ?

Also, and I might start my own thread, WHY do graduates get fast track to managerial positions and the perks that come wiith it ? Not all of us went to Uni and can only dream of such a stating position . Think yourself damn lucky.

RachelRagged · 15/01/2017 09:57

Always them with who want more !

KathArtic · 15/01/2017 10:09

It will one of two ways: he'll fail and leave or be playing golf with the boss in 6 months.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 15/01/2017 10:18

To be honest, I think you might be being a tad it unreasonable, OP. Not much though...just a tiny bit.

If he passes then obviously he's learned something, which means he's improving and getting a grip a little bit.

If he leaves at 3 and no one stops him then it's a management issue. Anyone who is poorly managed, especially someone so young and inexperienced, is bound to jump at the chance for an easy job/flexible start/leaving times.

To be honest, how many people here, if given the opportunity, would leave at 3, if they knew there was absolutely no come back to it?

He sounds a bit immature and unprofessional. Maturity and professionalism come with age and experience. Give him a chance.