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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if I'm the only one who has done this

49 replies

cherrycrumblecustard · 30/12/2016 21:30

Was looking through some photos of when DS was born, so nearly ten years ago (Shock)

I thought I was enormous and ugly.

I look at them and feel so sad, as actually I look young and pretty and healthy.

What a shame I didn't see it at the time. I wonder if I'll feel the same about photos taken of me now!

OP posts:
timelytess · 30/12/2016 21:46

I have a photo of myself at a friends wedding. I remember the emotional turmoil I suffered because I was too ugly to venture out in public and yet I had to be there, and had to submit to being photographed.

The photo shows me as a fairly startlingly beautiful young woman. I didn't know.

Costacoffeeplease · 30/12/2016 21:48

The things you complain about now, are the things you'll wish you still had in 10 years time

Original poster
cherrycrumblecustard · 30/12/2016 21:49

I know tess. I don't think I was ever beautiful but I do look pretty and fresh faced and I just thought I was so ugly and fat.

OP posts:
gluteustothemaximus · 30/12/2016 21:52

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind
You will never understand the power
And the beauty of your youth until they've faded
But trust me, in twenty years
You will look back at photos of yourself
And recall in a way you can't grasp now
How much possibility lay before you
And how fabulous you really looked
You are not as fat as you imagine

PlayOnWurtz · 30/12/2016 21:53

No. I thought I was ugly and when I look back I'm not proven wrong. I was ugly then and am ugly now Grin

Blossomdeary · 30/12/2016 21:55

I was a very pretty teenager - and I simply had no idea. I recently looked at a photo of me aged 15 - slim, long tanned legs, the whole lot. I remember feeling at the time that I was just nothing - worthless and skinny. How darned wrong I was! - if only I had known then.

acquiescence · 30/12/2016 21:55

Thanks, this is a nice thread 😊
I feel fat and massive and unfit with my 13mo and a new year diet plan- but I'm sure in 10 years I'll look back and think differently!

gluteous love it.

AmeliaJack · 30/12/2016 21:56

Instead of it making you sad, use it as a lesson to appreciate what you have now so you don't feel the same way in another ten years.

S1lentAllTheseYears · 30/12/2016 21:57

Oh gosh yes! I was so insecure about my weight throughout my teens and early twenties. I did always have a bit of a tummy due to being an apple shape but overall I would probably have been a size 8 -10 in todays sizes (12-14 back then!) and could have worn whatever I liked without worrying if my arse looked huge.

I would KILL to have that figure back now! The 1980's Kevin Keegan perm didn't do me any favours though!

Chelazla · 30/12/2016 21:57

I wish I was the weight I was when I first thought I was fatGrin

Original poster
cherrycrumblecustard · 30/12/2016 21:57

im the same Silent, I've always had a slightly protruding belly and thought this meant I was ENORMOUS

OP posts:
Idrinkandiknowstuff · 30/12/2016 21:59

Oh god yes. I genuinely believed I was ugly and way too skinny with a flat chest. Looking at the photos I'd give my right arm to look like that now.

cunningartificer · 30/12/2016 22:01

I had a real wake up call about my attitude to myself not long ago when I saw a picture of my sister in passing which I thought looked lovely. I then realised, looking closer, it was actually me --and thought how fat and ugly I looked! Genuinely shocked myself with the change! Looked again and realised I was ok actually and now try not to be so self loathing !!

clumsyduck · 30/12/2016 22:01

Iv done this
Without sounding big headed when I was late teens early 20s I was pretty attractive . I thought I was discusting :(

Weirdly over a decade on ( fatter , less youthful etc etc ) I'm much more confident and appreciate what I have

Hidingtonothing · 30/12/2016 22:02

God yes, I always disliked my body when I was young but I look back now and see how wrong I was. I'm in my 40's now and 5 stone overweight, wish I'd appreciated what I had then and looked after it better.

spankhurst · 30/12/2016 22:02

Me too. I was proper gorgeous but I remember being horrified if I caught sight of myself in a mirror unexpectedly. Why are we so good at convincing young women they aren't good enough? Sad

DontTouchTheMoustache · 30/12/2016 22:02

So true OP, I saw a picture from about 9 years ago at uni where I removed the Facebook tag because I thought I looked fat and crap but I looked amazing! Lovely long, slim legs and just fresh faced and pretty. Why was I so down on myself? But it's nice to pause and think that every so often because as you say we will probably feel exactly the same in 10 years. I'm 30 and had DS 11 months ago. I'm the biggest I've ever been and don't fit into any of my clothes so feel very fat and down all the time despite many friends recently commenting on my weight loss (and I'm only a bloody size 12!). This thread is a great reminder to stop and appreciate yourself and try to look at yourself objectively and stop just seeing your flaws (because chances are you are the only one who sees them)

TrustySnail · 30/12/2016 22:06

I was once on the local news as a member of the public 'soundbite' about public transport. I was in my early 20s and had a terrible hangover at the time, unwashed hair, tired etc. and when I watched it that evening (and videoed it) I thought I looked horrendous.

Fast forward about 15 years and I came across the tape and played it to my husband (whom I hadn't met at the time at the time it was recorded) priming him that I looked awful, hungover etc ... imagine my sense of disappointment when what seemed to be a vision of fresh-faced loveliness stared out at me from the TV screen!

I've never been particularly attractive, but that tape brought home to me what it was to have lost the bloom of youth Sad.

Original poster
cherrycrumblecustard · 30/12/2016 22:08

Yes, it's sad as well isn't it, a sense of prettiness fading

OP posts:
tiej · 30/12/2016 22:08

"Youth is wasted on the young", that brilliant quote that no young person ever understands.

smEGGnogg · 30/12/2016 22:09

I had real problems with myself in my teens. I was bullied terribly, all weight and looks related. I ended up with an eating disorder which I managed to conquer in the sense that I no longer starved myself when I had my son at 17.

I look at pictures of myself on holiday in Egypt at 14/15, I thought I was hideous and wouldn't take my vest top off because I was so bothered about my body. Actually I was quite attractive and very thin. A size 6/8.

When my son was born I'd put on a lot of weight and was a size 12. I hated me. But i look at pictures and think I wasn't that bad.

I'm pregnant at the moment but was overweight before conceiving and even when I have this baby and lose weight as I intend to, I don't think I'll ever get over my insecurities.

SemiNormal · 30/12/2016 22:11

Funnily enough I was looking through old photos last night and was shocked at how slim and pretty I was!! Very sad because at the time I was convinced I was massive and extremely unattractive.

AnyFarrahFowler · 30/12/2016 22:12

I was just about to post those lyrics from the "Wear Sunscreen" song too! Great minds!
I wish I was as "fat" as I thought I was when I was 20...

RubyRoseViolet · 30/12/2016 22:18

Yes, I used to do it all the time but I had an epiphany and never do it now.

I was very ill for a few years and during that time I said to myself over and over "all I want is my health, if I get better I will never moan about trivial crap like that again". Fortunately I did get better and if my daughter complains about her looks I tell her "you have arms and legs and a body that works, the rest is a bonus."

It's so liberating!

Love51 · 30/12/2016 22:26

Ruby rose, I was brought up on that saying.
As a kid I thought my glasses looked a bit rubbish. Hindsight shows they were utterly hideous. For years I would only wear contact lenses, I didn't know there was such a thing as glasses that look good.