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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Not AIBU but need help re bottle feeding

40 replies

FKat2016 · 26/12/2016 19:01

My new born is having difficulty latching after a couple of days on bottles as I have been away due to health reasons, I have tried to go back to the bottle and now he's refusing that it's just occurred to me I may be holding the bottle incorrectly?? He has terrible colic and I don't want to make it worse by feeding him incorrectly with the bottle.

He is now very overdue his feed and I'm really stressing out, somebody please help

Trying to attach picture of bottle- should the slant face up or down?

Not AIBU but need help re bottle feeding

OP posts:

SVJAA · 26/12/2016 19:02

The flat bit should be against his tongue. Hope you're ok, it's tough going eh?

misscarlar · 26/12/2016 19:03

Flat slant facing down

Original poster

FKat2016 · 26/12/2016 19:05

So the slant facing his tongue you mean? Sorry, I'm totally frazzled and very emotional, I can't seem to get anything right

OP posts:

GloGirl · 26/12/2016 19:06

Oh love very stressful

At some point they get so distressed it doesn't matter what they're offered . It sounds awful but if they get very worked up they will eventually tire themselves and be more receptive to feeding afterwards.

Big hugs.

Original poster

FKat2016 · 26/12/2016 19:06

Oh thank you, I didn't see that post.

Thank you very much x

OP posts:

GloGirl · 26/12/2016 19:06

Slant facing tongue

Original poster

FKat2016 · 26/12/2016 19:11

I don't want to starve him, he's just days old and brings up so much of what he eats anyway, it's hard to know how much is actually reaching him. I'm heartbroken that he won't latch but now scared to ever try again in case it causes the same problem again, I don't want to confuse him but I desperately want the contact with him again especially after being away, I'm really struggling with everything so far and maintaining the breast feeding bond might help me stop me feeling like a total failure

OP posts:

isthistoonosy · 26/12/2016 19:12

And make sure the test is filled with milk all the time during the feed to avoid him swallowing air.

SVJAA · 26/12/2016 19:12

You're not a failure, I promise you you're not a failure. It's hard going with a wee one who can't/won't feed. Be kind to yourself OP.

isthistoonosy · 26/12/2016 19:14

Could.you.try.mix.feeding so.bf and then top.up with a soon or cup to.avoid test confusion. It was suggested to.me.with my first but I didn't try.it so dont know how it really works. Or try calling LLL for some advice

fruitpastille · 26/12/2016 19:16

His stomach is very small, he will be getting what he needs. Lots of babies are a bit sicky - have a muslin handy and try to get wind up after the feed by getting him a bit upright and patting/rubbing back. Do you want to relatch on to your boob? It is probably possible with some support if you want to.

tiktok · 26/12/2016 19:16

It's horrible and distressing to be all confuddled with a newborn :(

But you have a right to midwifery care. You can call and ask for a visit to help with feeding - breast or bottle or both.

Internet forums are great but you need one to one personal care as well. You are entitled to it and feeding happily is essential care!!

fruitpastille · 26/12/2016 19:17

And you can still have nice skin to skin cuddles when bottle feeding. You are not a failure you are doing your best!

FuckingSausageFingers · 26/12/2016 19:17

You are absolutely not a failure. It can be fucking hard work. If you haven't already tried them, have a go with nipple shields. I gave them a bash after bf support woman suggested trying them (had significant latch issues) and ended up on them for 5 months. Still bf 13 months down the line now but those early days were so tough xx

toomuchtooold · 26/12/2016 19:19

Oh no, don't feel like a failure. This stuff isn't easy, even without health problems of your own and a colicky baby. Whatever you decide to do he will be fine.

My DD2 was a champion puker and a terrible feeder - I went straight to bottles for reasons but even with the bottle she was slow and half the time she would puke half of it straight back up. You can only do what you can do, frustrating as it is, it gets better after the first few weeks. DD is 4 now and still really skinny and birdlike, so maybe it's just their appetite, I don't know.

Kpo58 · 26/12/2016 19:21

see if there are any NCT breastfeeding groups in your area. They will try many different ways to try and help the latch in a relaxed and comfortable environment.

I would see the doctor if he keeps bringing up what you fed him. My DD used to to the same. It's really frustrating, but also really common.

Newborns are the biggest pains in the backsides to feed. My DD wouldn't latch. It used to take 40 mins to get the bottle in her mouth, another 40 mins to feed, then 20 mins trying to settle her. Once I had expressed and sterilises everything, it was almost time to feed her again. It does get better though.

Whatsername17 · 26/12/2016 19:21

You are not failing. If you want to persevere with bottle feeding do so confident in the knowledge that you are a loving mum feeding her baby. Look at his face and into his eyes as you feed. You can still build up that bond. Try wiggling the bottle gently in his mouth if she starts to refuse. It's early days, all very scary but it will get easier I promise.

sj257 · 26/12/2016 19:21

That's a funny teat, I'd keep persevering tonight but could someone go out and get you some different bottles tomorrow?

toomuchtooold · 26/12/2016 19:22

Oh one thing if you are sticking with bottles - DD I think we put her onto the faster flow teat, the one up from newborn quite early - 2 or 3 weeks - and it seemed to help that she didn't need to suck so hard. It might be something, if you have some faster flow ones?

Daisyfrumps · 26/12/2016 19:23

Have you got a bath? Can you get to someone's house with a bath? Try this, ideally with someone to help you:-

Have someone run you a warm bath in a warm room - low lighting, maybe calm music

Get in with baby (both naked)

Spend some time floating him around and skin to skin - this often 'reboots' their feeding cues

Repeat as often as you want to. Also skin to skin time in bed together is hugely beneficial

Guidance here: diaryofafirstchild.com/2010/11/02/rebirthing-for-emotional-healing-and-breastfeeding-success/

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 26/12/2016 19:24

Generally it's the slanted part towards the tongue. So that the top part of the teat reaches further back in the babies mouth against the palate, as a nipple would do if bf. However, some babies do actually feed better with the teat the other way around.

Daisyfrumps · 26/12/2016 19:26

A few days old baby's stomach is the size of a walnut - any more than that will be brought up again. He'll feed little and often x

Daisyfrumps · 26/12/2016 19:28

Pic

Namejustfornappies · 26/12/2016 19:29

I don't know anything about bottles, but if you want to calm a newborn the best way is naked- naked snuggles in the dark.
If you want to try breastfeeding again the best time is to try for a sleepy feed when they are all relaxed. And skin to skin. When you are more confident they often latch better when they've worked themselves into a state if you are holding them and pacing the room at the same time. No idea why!

cx5221 · 26/12/2016 19:34

My dd was an awful feeder OP she couldn't latch on ever and vomited most of her feeds back it was really hard work and I too worried so much about how much she was getting but she is a perfectly healthy 5 year old now (she was a terrible feeder / vomited I used to get through about 5 outfits a day with her) Dont be too hard on yourself you're not a failure it's exhausting in the early days.
I expressed for a week after I couldn't get her to latch but it was exhausting so I switched to formula too and never looked back.

If the vomiting continues it may be worth asking the GP if you can try some milk allergy milk or reflux medicine (like gaviscon) both worked wonders for my dd and helped with the vomiting.

If it helps in the early days I asked the midwife how many MLS dd should be having a day and wrote down how much she was having just on a scrap of paper after each feed. I always tried to make sure she was around that number every day in the early days so if she was down one day I would wake her for an extra feed to make sure she was getting enough.

It might be worth trying a few different teats too as they affected my daughters feeding, the MAM one was the best for us she fed really well with that teat but was terrible with the tommee tippy and Phillips avent ones I think they made her retch so she vomited more.

Congratulations on your baby op

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