Not AIBU but need help re bottle feeding

[FKat2016]

My new born is having difficulty latching after a couple of days on bottles as I have been away due to health reasons, I have tried to go back to the bottle and now he's refusing that it's just occurred to me I may be holding the bottle incorrectly?? He has terrible colic and I don't want to make it worse by feeding him incorrectly with the bottle.

He is now very overdue his feed and I'm really stressing out, somebody please help

Trying to attach picture of bottle- should the slant face up or down?

Do you have any bottles of your own?? The tommee tippee ones are quite good. Don't feel bad about bottle feeding-it's not as big a deal as people would have you believe online.

You are not a failure. Please seek help if you're worried about how much he's being sick. A lot of newborns are just sicky though!!

If it helps, we switched my DS to formula 5 days in, and feeding is still a lovely bonding time (for me and DH). As a previous poster said- lots of eye contact, skin to skin, etc.

A midwife showed me a trick when my newborn wouldn't feed...rub the year quite firmly (well firmly for a newborn) against the roof of his mouth. This used to work with my DS, it sort of stimulates their sucking reflex.

I would also second the post about skin to skin!

When my baby got really hysterical and wouldn't latch I sometimes found I needed to calm her down before she could relax/ concentrate enough to feed

I found a change of scene would relax us both - taking her outside helped, or putting her in the sling and bobbing around a bit, or dh walking her round the house

Colic is v, v difficult. My first baby would scream for over an hour some nights. It was awful. Dh and I would take turns walking her around the neighborhood in a sling whilst she screamed. After an hour she would suddenly stop crying, latch on and breastfeed to sleep. It was completely bizarre.

That's v difficult to be separated from your newborn. Are you in the UK? Babies should be admitted with their mums whenever possible. Was breastfeeding going OK before you went to hospital?

Bless you. NCT feeding helpline is open till midnight tonight - do call and they will give you a kind, listening ear and lots of things to try and help. You do need one to one in person help too. Your midwife may well be great, but do try and seek the help from a LLL leader, nct breastfeeding counsellor or an ABM breastfeeding counsellor to help you get baby latched on x

YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE.

That's in capitals because it is VERY important.

New babies sick up a lot. So long as he's being fed he'll be fine. It doesn't matter how you feed him.

He will be fine. You need to be kind to yourself. Keep trying to breastfeed if you want. Do what is right for you.

You're doing ok. Promise. Now have a big cup of steaming tea, snuggle up with your baby and get some rest.

Poor you op, have you tried the Tommee tippee closer to nature bottles? I had the same issue with my ds and they worked great, you are not a failure, it'll be fine!

I agree with the post about tickling the roof of his mouth with the teat. Also, when myDS was born he had trouble latching on. I was advised to feed him bottles of expressed milk then, when the edge had been taken off his hunger, to try the latch again. After a week or so he moved to full breastfeeds but was still able to take a bottle when DH doing nightfeeds or someone else looking after him. I'd get him back to taking bottles first, as it is useful to have that backup, then try the latch when he is less hungry/more relaxed. I do know how you feel, as I really craved that contact too and was heartbroken thinking I'd never achieve it. Remember though, you are not a failure however you feed him. Good luck

I had exactly the same feelings when I had to start using bottle top ups as I'm not producing enough milk for DS. Please don't feel bad - there are so many factors that can affect feeding and whatever you do will be the right thing.

As a pp suggested, try nipple shields. I found that they almost bridge the gap between nipples and bottle teats and then the transition between boob and bottle is easier.

Oh, poor you. I won't comment on the bottle as I know you'll be past that, but do take heart. I actually posted on AIBU about 6 weeks ago as my little one just couldn't figure out breastfeeding and I was distraught. I had so looked forward to breastfeeding and she just wouldn't latch.
Lots of skin to skin and letting her find her way to the breast and she eventually started doing the odd few minutes here and there with a nipple shield. 6 weeks on and DD hasn't had a bottle in I don't know how long, and she is gaining weight like a beast. It's been a long, hard road, but if you persevere, you WILL get there. You're so early on in your journey and there is so much hope! Tap into every resource you can find and you'll get there. You've got this Mama!

Thank you everyone, you wouldn't believe how comforting your messages are. Xxx

Oh bless you OP. They dont come with a manual (wish they did!) it's so easy to feel that you're getting it all wrong. All you can ever do as a parent is your best. And give yourself a break. It's tough. Go easy on yourself.

Both my boys were very sicky babies. I got used to it but in the early days with my youngest I used to worry I was doing everything wrong and that he wasn't getting fed enough. It's hard to see the wood from the trees sometimes and easy to think you are a failure but you absolutely are not. What type of bottles are you using? We after trying lots ended up with dr brown anti colic and they were great but it may be trial and error until you get something that works for you. Same with milk. It might be worth a chat with your HV to see if they have any advice too

How are you getting on today?

www.amazon.co.uk/First-Years-Y4564-Breastflow-BPA-Free/dp/B001PVAXZK

I used these as my dc stuggled with bottles as they tried to latch like when you bf. Tommee tippee one are prob similar shape