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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect DH to close the door when he is having a shit?

52 replies

luckylucky24 · 18/12/2016 20:17

We have a downstairs loo and an ensuite in our house and whenever DH does a poo he leaves the door open! He just went to the bathroom and I could hear every grunt so suggested he closes the door. It is quite off putting and doesn't half put a downer on my sex drive!

Am I a prude or is DH BU?

OP posts:
MissMogwi · 18/12/2016 20:18

YANBU that is grim. Ugh.

KayTee87 · 18/12/2016 20:19

Yanbu- would he think it was ok for you to do the same?

Bailey101 · 18/12/2016 20:19

That's minging Sad There's being close, and then there's being too close, and listening to someone grunting away on the loo is not pleasant.

LindyHemming · 18/12/2016 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 18/12/2016 20:22

That is gross and disgusting. I had to teach dh to shut the en suite door when he was using the loo - especially if I was in bed. Why would I want those smells in the bedroom? In my world, doing it with the door open meant he was basically doing it in the bedroom - and that is just manky.

LindyHemming · 18/12/2016 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScarletForYa · 18/12/2016 20:25

Ask him to explain why he thinks anyone else would want to see, hear, smell and witness his shitting?

I'm fascinated to know what he says.

SprogletsMum · 18/12/2016 20:26

My dp always leaves the door open it's vile and makes the whole house smell like shit.

mumof2kiddos · 18/12/2016 20:31

My DH does wee with door slightly open....and that too in the downstairs cloakroom. I have now resorted to instruct my 8yr old DS to try and push the door open in the hope that his dad be embarassed and not repeat it again. However as the cloakroom is tiny, he is able to push the door close as soon as my DS starts pushing it open from the other side. I have warned him that it would serve him right the day when my 15 yr old DD will open it before he is able to push it back. That day he will learn a lesson. I sincerely hope that day doesnt come at all though.
Pooing - no way he would be allowed...the day he does it, I will click a photo of him pooing in the loo and post it in fb. He has already been warned of this.

Original poster
luckylucky24 · 18/12/2016 20:31

Scarlett we have had conversations about this before and he sees nothing wrong with it and wouldn't care if I did the same. I however would not even pee in front of him which apparently makes it my problem.

OP posts:
PunkrockerGirl · 18/12/2016 20:35

This would be a deal breaker for me I'm afraid. I couldn't deal with someone who had so little respect for me that they expected me to see/hear them having a shit. And as for sex, they could dream on. Being married doesn't mean we have to witness each other's bodily functions imo.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 18/12/2016 20:42

That's revolting. It would turn me off a man utterly and instantly. Weeing is fine, but pooing should only occur behind closed doors.

Fairylea · 18/12/2016 20:45

Gross. Shock

Every time he grunts I would do it back. Grin

deblet · 18/12/2016 20:47

If he does it again liberally use room spray all over him. Every time.

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/12/2016 20:48

Change a tampon in front of him. That should fix him...

LuluJakey1 · 18/12/2016 20:51

I don't mnd DH peeing with the door open but I would rather he poo'd in the other bathroom, not the ensuite. The ensuite is for my poo which I like to do in private when he is not in the bedroom, preferably not in the house.

Helbelle75 · 18/12/2016 20:52

Yanbu at all. It would be a complete deal breaker for me. I often hear my DH through the walls and that's bad enough!

riceuten · 18/12/2016 20:55

Grim beyond belief. I wouldn't want anyone hearing me "on the straining bars" and nor should anyone else.

FuckYouDailyMail · 18/12/2016 21:03

Please tell me he isn't one of those 45 minute pooers as well OP.

Steviea88 · 18/12/2016 21:11

Ew no! DH knows to close the door, open the window, spray and put bleach down! His only allowed to use the en suite too! Unless it's night time/early morning and then it's the bathroom.
God knows what he does in there for 45 minutes!!

PunkrockerGirl · 18/12/2016 21:12

I wouldn't even tolerate dh weeing in front of me tbh (he wouldn't, he values his privacy as much as I do mine). But how much effort does it take to shut a bathroom door ffs Confused
I could have zero sexual feelings for a man who felt it necessary for me to witness him taking a dump. Utterly grim and it would be an absolute deal breaker for me.

ThatsWhatYouDo · 18/12/2016 21:15

YANBU that's utterly vile. He sounds like some kind of psychopath.

girlandboy · 18/12/2016 21:17

YANBU.
It's grim. End of.
No-one shits in this house without the door shut. Or has a wee for that matter. I've been with DH nearly 30 years and neither of us has seen the other perched on the loo!
And if your DH is grunting, then I suggest he's constipated too.

dangerrabbit · 18/12/2016 21:18

This thread is a bit dramatic. Just ask him to poo with the door close. Or close it yourself in a passive aggressive way.

Pinkvici22 · 18/12/2016 21:21

I thought for a minute I'd actually written this post OP....I feel your pain. My DH is gross too.