to not want to do this today?

[ShowMePotatoSalad]

DH's parents are on holiday. They've asked us to go and visit them today. They're in a holiday home which is nearly a 4 hour round trip away. We'd only be able to stay for about 2 hours at the most.

AIBU to not want to do this? I was hoping to do some shopping but otherwise just chill out. I am being seen as a spoilsport who is putting a dampener on things. Told DH to go by himself if he wants to. Am I horrible?

YANBU - why do you have to go? Surely PILS will enjoy having their son to themselves for a couple of hours? I know I would.

You are looking a bit peaky to be honest potato I don't think you should risk it.

I agree. Do you need to go lie down for a bit. Just until you hear the door shut.

They want us to take DS really but they're only gone a week and we'll be seeing them loads over Christmas.

DH could take DS (1 yo) with him but they wouldn't be home until gone 7. Then we'd have to do tea and bath etc (normally he;s in bed by 6.45-7.00). He's not great on long car journeys and I don't really want him screaming for 2 hours there and back. We go on car journeys a lot and it doesn't normally bother me but this just seems like a load of unncessary faffing for such a short visit. Which makes me the grinch obviously.

Ooh yes, in that case let DH take DS with him but you stay at home. I bet you seven million pounds DH suddenly decides he doesn't want to go either

Anyway, we have established you are too ill to go.

It's not your problem if he screams, his dad will sort him out. He can have a bath in the morning if necessary. Why are you not thinking: "if I wangle this right, I get a whole day to myself!". Bloody enjoy it.

Have they gone on holiday somewhere further away from you than they normally live? If so, I think this is a really bizarre request

Now that is an interesting proposition!

(You are right though..DH will say he doesn't want to go anymore)

I'd just laugh at your husband, frankly. What a ridiculous plan he and his parents have ... especially since you'll be seeing them over the holidays a lot!

Just laugh and say no. Treat it like the joke it should be.

Spam yes normally it takes half an hour to get to their actual house. Glad I'm not the only one who thinks it's odd. They are lovely people but I would describe them as "eccentric".

That's weird. They are on holiday and want you to come see them

I get the impression that they aren't 100% happy just in each other's company. No doubt they will have invited my BIL and SIL to go over tomorrow. I think there are genuine reasons behind it but it doesn't make practical sense to actually do it.

'Yeah I have thought about it and no. It's bonkers, but crack on mate if you want to go with the little one'.

LOLLLL omg I would love to say that to DH. I'm always treading lightly because deep down he knows they're very "eccentric" and I think he might be a little bit sensitive about that fact. So I always try to do this diplomatic thing and end up making excuses as to why I can't do something. Which is probably why they think I'm an evil cow who likes spoiling everyone's plans.

I would think it quite unreasonable so soon before Christmas, especially if you're going to be seeing them then, and you've got kids.
Nearly everybody is busy at this time of year, and if it's going to amount to virtually a whole day gone, then if it were me, I think I'd get my dh to go and take the kids, and let me get on with whatever is best done in child-free peace.

Well if you are going to be considered an evil cow, let loose I say.

It's settled - DH is taking DS. Poor guys.

so roughly 8hrs of travelling just to see them for 4hrs.. if it were me I would be struck down with sudden illness, but let your dh know he is more than welcome to take your ds and go and visit, I bet that will change his mind on going

Sorry it'd be 4 hours of travelling for 2 hours visit. But still...

Result!

Hahaha he doesn't want to take DS now! I bloody knew it. He's out at the moment but he's just text me saying he's thought about it and it's a long way for DS to travel for such a short amount of time there. He wants me to keep him here so he can go up by himself. Ha ha ha.

No no no!

He's out at the moment but he's just text me saying he's thought about it and it's a long way for DS to travel for such a short amount of time there. He wants me to keep him here so he can go up by himself.

'Precisely. But the whole point is for them to see DS so why are you going at all?'

Yep, I've said "But I thought your mum and dad wanted to see DS?" He knows they'll be seeing him next week and the week after. He doesn't really want to go up there but he's afraid of saying no. I don't know what he thinks will happen if he refuses...Christmas will be cancelled or something? Ha ha.

So basically, I'm not going, DS is not going...we'll see whether DH decides to go or not. I'm not going to stop him. I'll keep DS here anyway...I'm not bothered if he doesn't go. We'll have a lovely day together. It's just annoying how much faffing is going on. I hate faff.

Surely if you were going to do this at all you should have left long before now to make it worthwhile , really not worth the effort unless whoever goes stays overnight . Utter madness .

"Exactly what I have been saying all along. Maybe next time you might listen to me before deciding I'm being unreasonable and then changing your mind as soon as it's you who has to make the effort".

Would be my reply.