To think that whether someone wears make up or not shouldn't make a difference?

[2catsandadog]

Yesterday, I went to the hospital with my DS. I happened to be dressed smartly and have a full face of make up on. This is relatively unusual as I am a SAHM, and my uniform is jeans, jumpers and boots.

Usually at the hospital I am not listened to, I am talked over, I am patronised. Yesterday, they couldn't have been better. I was taken seriously, the consultant listened to what I said, I was told I had a good knowledge of the condition we were talking about (I did my research, that's why).

I was really pissed off that wearing make up (or maybe looking like I had come from the office) seems to make such a difference. What utter crap.

Hmmm, could it have been you acted with more confidence as you dressed better and had a face full of slap and people reacted to that confidence?

I was just going to say the same as Bluntness

As a SAHM I rarely wear make up during the day and live in jeans. I don't find myself being spoken over - but then maybe that's because I'm a stubborn, grumpy cow

I don't think I'd notice or care what makeup someone had on at a consultation TBH. YABU to attribute someone else's attitude to something that obviously makes you feel different. Perhaps you're projecting so I agree with pps saying it's about you, not about the hospital.

It could be I suppose. I hadn't thought of that.

I do have basement level confidence generally, and I do feel better with my "armour" on... Hmmm.

Thanks for the different perspective.

I've found that too, OP. These days I always put business dress on - or smart-casual at the very least - for medical/solicitors appointments. I feel that I'm treated with more respect by the doctor/solicitor/receptionist/whatever. I don't know why it should be so - and I hope I don't treat people differently myself as a result of how they are dressed.--

Incidentally I've also been upgraded on flights a couple of times too - my FIL told me to always look smart if I'm travelling alone. It seems to work!

I'm slobbing about in fleecy bottoms and a hoody right now though

i have never dressed smart for a hospital or doctor appointment. i am a sahm and make up is very dependent on whether i have time rather than where i'm going. im quite happy to go anywhere clean faced. i feel that i am usually listened to and my thoughts are taken on board. i'm pretty sure doctors have bigger issues than whether an ill person has put on make up? maybe i have just been lucky.

definitely second looking smart and alone for upgrades on planes tho!

I reckon it's 50% confidence and 50% them 'reading' you differently.

I think the way you hold yourself counts for a lot.

But I think it's also true that people interpret someone smartly dressed as 'professional', informed, clued-up. It is similar to how I get treated v differently at the hospital if I use my title of 'Dr', even if I point out I'm just a PhD in a totally useless humanities field

I don't think it's just hospitals though: I definitely get different service in shops etc depending on how I look. It's just, sadly, human nature, and docs aren't exempt from it!

I do think that a lot of professional people seemed to assumed I was a bit dim when I was SAHM. I'm not sure if that was the make-up (or lack thereof) or if it was my failure to signal wealth, education and career status.

I find I'm treated better even on the school run when in work "armour". Suit and briefcase vs chinos and rucksack make a difference. These are people who know what I do, I don't suddenly become more competent or worth listening to in my work gear.

People take you more seriously when you look the part. I have a preppy dress sense and find I can get appointments for family much quicker and easier, and often with the same doctors, than friends who don't make the effort. I get taken more seriously too.

I find if you drop a bit of more complex vocab into the conversation, doctors' attitudes change.

I never wear make up bar the odd wedding etc. I'm usually in jeans and a jumper too.

People almost always take me seriously though, but that's because I find my 'generic southern' accent turns into RP whenever I have to make an appointment or have a serious conversation.

It's a bit shit/unfair when you think about it though that our clothes/accents etc have such an affect.

Effect?

I think because you were dressed smartly you probably acted more confident within yourself and they picked up on that

I always find it odd they want to know what you do for a living with kids appts. It could be worse op, the last two times I've been to the dr's (admittedly not my own gp) they've drawn me pictures .

Agree with all the above, it's about your own confidence, not the actual way you dress. I've never noticed any difference in the way I am treated anywhere. I suppose on the rare occasions I wear a mini skirt I get a few random smiles, but professional people I have an appointment with are always professional, regardless of what they think of my outfit, if they even care.

I think it's incredibly naive to think the way you dress and for women wear make-up doesn't impact what others think, of course we respond to social signals. That doesn't mean everyone not wearing make-up is ignored, but if you look polished, wear nice clothes and speak in a direct way with complex vocab you get a hell of a lot more than someone that doesn't.

If you are trying to get optimal treatment out of the NHS I find it useful to ask the doctor what they would do if they had your condition or if their child/mother did. It snaps them out out the 'Me doctor-You Patiient' mindset.

I think it's incredibly naive

why do you think that? I have not experienced any difference if I am wearing make up or not. Of course, I would be treated differently in a job interview if I was wearing a tracksuit bottom instead of a suit and my hair was a mess, but that's not the point here. You are mixing up 2 things, the way you speak and present yourself has nothing to do with your clothes or make up. Of course the way you ARE makes a different, not the way you DRESS, as long as it is appropriate. I have done important presentations at work without any make up on because I went to the gym at lunch time and couldn't be bothered to tart up, and that has not made any difference whatsoever.

I don't wear make-up, but have known a similar situation (hospital with child) change completely from patronising/suspicious to respectful/engaging after I happened to drop into the conversation what I do for a living.

I don't wear makeup and am a slob dress casually. Last emergency appointment for DD I was asked if I was a registrar! Having some confidence and knowledge goes a long way.

I'd agree that it's more confidence /knowledge than appearance. When DS was in NICU I was 2 days post-EMCS, in pyjamas, no sleep, no shower that day let alone makeup, but dropping a bit of jargon into the conversation with the Paeds consultant made a massive difference to how much information/detail I got about his condition and treatment.

I don't wear make up. But in my work clothes and in work mode I'm sure that doctors would see me as more "like them" than as a patient and I'd get more in depth explanations of stuff.

I think makeup and professional clothing can do exactly the same thing as my casual (and oh yes of course completely accidental) mention of my research. Suddenly I had become "somebody a bit like me" to the consultant, somebody perhaps with a similar background, somebody he could identify with, somebody in whose position he could have found himself.

Clearly some men people find it extremely difficult to identify with a careworn mother from one of the poorer parts of town. A careworn mother from one of the poorer parts of town with a PhD - not that's different. I do not think it was greatly to his credit- but I had to get dd investigated and I was prepared to do whatever that took.

Camomila- I do exactly the same! My very generic Home Counties accent also becomes very RP when I have to 'scold' someone- think a more slovenly Mary Poppins!