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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep my 5 year old off school for 2 weeks

42 replies

elliejjtiny · 16/11/2016 21:42

I know I would be and I'm not going to do it, but it's very tempting at the moment.

I have 5 dc aged 10, 8, 5, 3 and 2. 3 year old has had a lot of operations/procedures under GA and needs one doing soon. Was supposed to be today but he has a cold. This is the 4th time we've had to cancel because of a cold for different things this year. Consultant tries to arrange things so that he has a couple of things done at the same time to reduce the numbers of GA's he has (he's still had 11 though). When we cancel this becomes harder to arrange and todays 2 procedures will probably have to be done separately, meaning an extra GA for him.

My 5 year old is in year 1 and his classroom is a snot factory. Older 2 aren't too bad as they are a bit more hygienic now they are older. But my 5 year old seems to have had a cold since they went back to school in September. Maybe his asthma makes him more vulnerable to colds or maybe they are all sharing tissues, picking their noses etc.

I always keep my younger 2 away from toddler groups etc for 2 weeks before a GA to lower the risk but it's pointless because DS3 just brings home another cold. The headteacher doesn't help, rewarding 100% attendance and sending letters out to parents of children who have more than a couple of days off, moaning about attendance.

I know there's nothing I can do and small children are germy creatures but it's so frustrating. My 3 year old should have been pain free tonight but he's still suffering and getting worse because his procedure wasn't done.

I wish I could keep my 5 year old off school for 2 weeks before DS4's next operation, and greatly reduce his chances of being ill again.

OP posts:
Xmasfairy86 · 16/11/2016 21:47

Can the 5 year old (or 3 year old) not stay with a grandparent? Or other relative? It's a lot to ask but surely they'd understand if it's for the health of your 3 year old?

BastardBernie · 16/11/2016 21:49

I completely understand but it's such a long time in the context of things Sad
To be fair, id think nothing of taking any of mine out for a holiday as family time is valuable time so Insuppose I'm not best to advise.
I also kept my DD off 3 days before I was induced with DS Blush

cheminotte · 16/11/2016 21:54

Yanbu _ at the age of 5 they won't miss much.

HermioneJeanGranger · 16/11/2016 21:58

I really don't think it's a good idea. Yes, five is young but won't they want to join in with all the Christmas fun?

I know it's frustrating but you'd probably be fined for doing it.

Gingerlilly · 16/11/2016 21:59

can you plan the next op for just after a school hol so they wont be in school anyway?

Areyoufree · 16/11/2016 22:02

I don't think it's unreasonable. 11 GAs? Poor little guy - that must be so hard for you. Flowers

MrsRhettButler · 16/11/2016 22:06

It won't affect his GCSE's at age 5, I'd keep him off.

Mummamayhem · 16/11/2016 22:06

That's sounds so incredibly stressful. Like above, is there an option for 3yo or 5yo to stay with family for a 'holiday'?

MrsRhettButler · 16/11/2016 22:06

Like pp said, people would do it for a holiday and this is much more important.

MatchyMatcha · 16/11/2016 22:10

Of course you are not being unreasonable, you are thinking of your child's health.

ThirdTimeLuck · 16/11/2016 22:13

I'd do it in a heartbeat, your poor little one. Have you talked to the school, they might support you and organise some sort of home tutoring arrangement to avoid 'absence'?

Namechangeemergency · 16/11/2016 22:15

Hi ellie
I work with children with complex needs and I know parents who have done this.
Getting geared up for operations and procedures is stressful and sometimes those operations/procedures have to be done before other stuff can be done so a cancellation has a big impact.

So they keep everyone at home for a while (usually after a few cancellations rather than just on the off chance).

Sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

canyou · 16/11/2016 22:15

Can you 'flexi school' ie home school for a few weeks? My nephew with asthma did this when he was endlessly sick it allowed his immune system to recover.

YeOldMa · 16/11/2016 22:16

You could ask the head teacher if you can teach him at home for 2 weeks so he can have the op without fear of colds. That way he will be in a better place for his ongoing education because he won't be in pain.

anyonewithinsightoutthere · 16/11/2016 22:16

Do it. Fuck em. Your kids come first.

roundaboutthetown · 16/11/2016 22:16

Hmm. If you could guarantee keeping your child off school for two weeks would actually work... However, you have several children and if the others haven't been ill yet, they undoubtedly will be, and you will have to do something with your five year old to stop him being bored to tears for two weeks, which means taking him and yourself out into the germ-ridden world... Are you willing to have multiple two week breaks from school for him until you either get lucky or it's late Spring and the worst of the colds are over? And then what about recovery time after the operation?

Sweets101 · 16/11/2016 22:17

Absolutely I would!
I'd go in to school and tell them and get them on board.

Blu · 16/11/2016 22:27

Have all 4 colds been caught from the 5 yo?
It won't be authorised - I would explain to the Head and check whether they would fine you.
'Course, you'd keep the 5 year old off and the 10 year old would come home with a stinking cold: Sod's Law.

Blu · 16/11/2016 22:28

P.S sympathies, OP. It's hard.

EveOnline2016 · 16/11/2016 22:30

Would it be good to plan it after the new year when most schools are closed for 2 weeks.

Original poster
elliejjtiny · 16/11/2016 22:34

Thankyou everyone

I think I'm going to have to suck it up as we will be fined if we keep DS3 off school for that long. It's not like it's a one off either, there will be another 3 or 4 GA's next year and the year after that. No relatives who will have either of them for that long. I'll go and talk to the school though.

OP posts:
EveOnline2016 · 16/11/2016 22:38

Could you home school the 5 year old and reapply for a school place after a few years.

Original poster
elliejjtiny · 16/11/2016 22:39

Blu yes that would probably happen! I think 3 were caught from my 5 year old and 1 from niece. We don't get any say of when an op is but I'll ask the consultant's secretary. It will make her life easier if she's not trying to rearrange his ops every 5 minutes so hopefully she will be sympathetic.

OP posts:
Funko · 16/11/2016 22:40

Why not speak to the school? Explain the situation and maybe ask if they would support home ed for two weeks and could they assist in supplying topics or guidance (if not actual work) that you can do whilst off? Commit to a project or set amount of work to ensure they know it's not a sneaky holiday. I can't imagine any sensible human being not supporting in this way.

Original poster
elliejjtiny · 16/11/2016 22:46

I will talk to the school. Even if they say no at least they are aware that we are struggling with this.

OP posts: