To keep my 5 year old off school for 2 weeks

[elliejjtiny]

I know I would be and I'm not going to do it, but it's very tempting at the moment.

I have 5 dc aged 10, 8, 5, 3 and 2. 3 year old has had a lot of operations/procedures under GA and needs one doing soon. Was supposed to be today but he has a cold. This is the 4th time we've had to cancel because of a cold for different things this year. Consultant tries to arrange things so that he has a couple of things done at the same time to reduce the numbers of GA's he has (he's still had 11 though). When we cancel this becomes harder to arrange and todays 2 procedures will probably have to be done separately, meaning an extra GA for him.

My 5 year old is in year 1 and his classroom is a snot factory. Older 2 aren't too bad as they are a bit more hygienic now they are older. But my 5 year old seems to have had a cold since they went back to school in September. Maybe his asthma makes him more vulnerable to colds or maybe they are all sharing tissues, picking their noses etc.

I always keep my younger 2 away from toddler groups etc for 2 weeks before a GA to lower the risk but it's pointless because DS3 just brings home another cold. The headteacher doesn't help, rewarding 100% attendance and sending letters out to parents of children who have more than a couple of days off, moaning about attendance.

I know there's nothing I can do and small children are germy creatures but it's so frustrating. My 3 year old should have been pain free tonight but he's still suffering and getting worse because his procedure wasn't done.

I wish I could keep my 5 year old off school for 2 weeks before DS4's next operation, and greatly reduce his chances of being ill again.

I have a remedy..... Go to Neal's yard, or a local herbalist ( yellow pages) and get them to make you up a tea of elderflower, yarrow and peppermint, equal parts. Use half a teaspoonful to make a cup of tea, and give him 3 cups daily. It doesn't taste of much, you can mix it with juice or squash, and give it hot or cold. It is an excellent cold prevention.

I would in a heartbeat. Our school wouldn't mind.

Schools can register a student as "educated off site" so it's worth seeing if they could agree to that.

In the future, the 5 year old will become more resistant to bugs so should be less problematic like the older children.

Good luck.

If you decide to a fine is completely at the heads discretion. It is not a compulsory thing and I would let him know that's you're aware of this. Yanbu! Good luck x

Much empathy Ellie as a fellow hospital mom with thankfully no other children!!
At 5 I'd do it. Def speak to secretary but its so hard with theatre places so tight and presumably having him in hospital when all the other kids are off would create other issues anyway RE childcare depending on how long DS is in.
Hope the school can help and are understanding. An authorised absence with homework to keep him up to date is far better than an unauthorized absence he needs to catch up from xxx

I would do it. I would tell the school my child will be doing his school work from home for two weeks so he will still be doing some work.

I don't think I would. Aside from the fact he isn't the only child (or adult) that will be exposed during the time leading up to the younger ones operation, he may take on board that he has been singled out and feel to blame for any future complications surrounding his siblings operation(s). I think you need to tread very carefully here because to say to a 5yo you are off school so you don't get a cold and pass it to X before their operation may well cause your 5yo anxieties etc, particularly if the scheduled op does end up being cancelled. If you had considered keeping EVERYONE isolated that would probably be ok, but from the 5yo point of view this will be on his shoulders. Sorry but for that reason I wouldn't risk it.

YANBU just go for it, the little one's health is of paramount importance. Sometimes I think that for five year olds, actually talking to them, reading to them, solving problems together etc. Can be as effective, if not more, than school if in small doses. Thy need closer attention and one to one than older children. Think of all the kids all over the world who are home schooled, and this will be just two weeks. The school won't like it, but hey! Also, in reception/year 1 there's a lot of free play etc. It's not like they're doing exams.

All those saying they wouldn't do it, it's unfair to the 5yo..... try and picture yourself as the parent of a painfully and chronically sick child. 11 general anaesthetics before 3 is no trivial matter, and it is true to say that any spike in temp, snotty nose etc. and they won't do the op. A three year old needs an operation you do not need to think about it. Whatever needs to be done, needs to be done!

Yes I agree with the majority and would do it too.

In the long term I would, as I'm sure you are, try to boost the whole families immune system with lots of fruit and veg, supplements etc.

I also use a saline nasal spray twice a day on my DS as it has been shown to help prevent colds etc. I recently ran out and forgot to replace and DS now has a real stinker!

And if it doesn't work and your little one gets a cold from elsewhere, what then? Another 2 weeks off? And again next year?

The youngest of 5 children is always going to catch lots from their siblings unfortunately.

The problem with doing it this time, is what happens next time? And next time?

I really sympathise with OP because it's a horrible situation but you can't keep your 5yo off school in two-week chunks forever. Yes, at 5 it won't affect his GCSE's, but two week chunks over several periods over a year will impact his learning and his friendships.

What if she keeps the 5yo off and the 3yo still gets a cold? The op will get postponed, the 5yo will have missed 2 weeks of school and the same thing will happen for the next op.

It's shit but it's life with small children, unfortunately. If it were guaranteed to work and this was the only op, fine, but it's not guaranteed to prevent the 3yo from getting a cold and even if it does, he still has more ops to go. You can't keep making the 5yo miss two week chunks of school for it, however tempting it might be.

I would if I had to. However can you just try and schedule appointments for after the holidays? They have Xmas off, February, Easter, may holidays, summer and October. So if you had it schedules for as soon as the go back all the children would have been of for some time anyway.

Speak to school/head and explain (verbally or written). Arrange to have appropriate work for your child to bring home and get your 3 year old sorted. At the end of the day your 5 year old isn't going to suffer and also bear in mind that parents take their children out of school for holidays all the time. You're not guaranteed that you'll avoid the germs but it's worth trying this.

Unless you're going to put all your DC in a complete bubble for the two week period you won't be able to guarantee that they don't catch anything. So I really don't think that keeping 1 child off school is really going to help.

For those saying book the op for the holidays, you don't get slot of say in it! Also what about childcare for the 5 yo? Of 3 yo is in for a week, 5 yo is not gonna enjoy a week of being stuck on a kids ward

Just thought I'd update to say that we've got a new date (6th December) which is still before we see the specialist and they are able to combine the 2 procedures, same as the original plan. So just hoping he doesn't get another cold. I've bought hand sanitiser and am insisting on everyone using it when they come in the door. I'm also avoiding softplay, which DS4 isn't impressed by.

Thankyou for all your help. Extra thanks to the people who said that DS4's illness was serious and 11 GA's is a big deal. I've had a lot of people over the past 3 years who try and trivialise it, saying that I should be used to it by now. It's nice to be reminded by strangers that this is a big and scary thing we are dealing with and it's ok to find it difficult and emotional.