To hide my DSD "glasses"??

[QueenOfTheNaps]

There's a reason I put glasses in ""

My DSD10 has perfect vision (so far) and is a lovely girl who enjoys dressing up/make believe etc.
Her mum wears sight glasses and has apparently just got a new pair as we have just spent the weekend with DSD wearing her mums old pair. Literally all weekend....
they aren't a strong prescription, but are prescription nonetheless and I really fear for her eyesight! I've mentioned it to DH and he's so blasé about it and said his XP would often let her wear her glasses. She's so happy to wear them as part of her dressing up...
Am I over reacting by thinking that it might be screwing up her (so far) perfect vision?
She took them off last night and I hid them and have no intention of 'finding them' any time soon

That's ridiculous. She'll get a headache apart from anything else.

Yanbu I can't imagine wearing prescription glasses when you don't need them can be good for you. You can get glasses with plain glass/plastic lenses for fashion purposes. Could you get her some as a compromise?

Don't know whether this would damage eyesight, but I would have thought that wearing glasses of the wrong prescription could cause headaches due to eye strain.

Could you take the lenses out so she can use just the frames as part of her dressing up games?

I'd get her some fashion glasses or knock the glass out of the ones she has and let her have the frames

Yes, you should take them off her. They will strain her eyes. Claire's accessories do cheap fashion ones with clear lenses for kids.

Buy her a pair of plain lense ones. Fancy dress shops or Amazon will have them.

YY to the suggestions of buying her fake ones, they will probably fit her face better too.

Sometimes I feel as a (newish) step mum it's difficult as I want to let her do what she wants for fear of being the wicked stepmother but I was always told off as a young girl when I wore my mums glasses!
I think a trip to Claire's accessories is in order and I'll sadly never find her mums old ones

How bad is her mums sight? There's no way anyone would wear my glasses for more than two secs at a time as one eye needs very strong lenses and the other not much at all. Makes people feel rather nauseous and the whole world goes swimmy when they try and see through them!

I wonder if it's important to her that the glasses are her mums? In which case I'd check out how expensive it would be to get an optician to put in clear lenses... I suspect if you get a kind person in the shop it could be done very cheaply...

If not, give her a choice between her using her mums frames but no glass in them, or a new pair from top shop or wherever.

I think hiding them on purpose could be really upsetting for the little girl (& her mum & dad), so I'd only use that as a very temporary option.

Buy her some cheapy fashion ones, I doubt it will do her much good, and might lead to eyestrain.

As I understand it, wearing glasses with the wrong prescription won't screw up an adult's eyesight (though it may give them a headache), but it can affect a young child's developing eyesight. If the vision in one eye is worse than the other eye, the brain may favour the signal from the 'good' eye and this can lead to amblyopia www.nhs.uk/conditions/Lazy-eye/Pages/Introduction.aspx - this is why my DS2 wears glasses.

Yes, give her some fake ones, for some bizarre reason glasses seem like a fashion accessary these days.

I'm sure she'll get bored of glasses eventually, probably just a phase OP.

DS1 is always begging me to let me put my glasses on him, no way, not with my eyesight - he'll probably get glasses anyway, know our family history so he may as well enjoy no glasses while it lasts...

Miscellaneous it's quite a weak prescription which is why I think her mum and DH aren't that bothered by letting her wear them.

You're right though, it might be important that they are her mums own glasses as a few people remarked to her how much she looked like her mum with them on- she was as proud as punch!
(Now I feel a bit mean, luckily they didn't get 'lost' in the bin, just my handbag)

You could probably get an optician to put blank lenses in if she likes them. she might be attached to them because they are her Mums.

Can you pop the lenses out of the prescription ones is Mum will allow?

Get her some glasses from Claires

I don't think this should be your decision, and lying to her (and your husband?) isn't the way to go about it. So you're not exactly unreasonable, since it's coming from a good place, but I think what you've done is wrong.

I think knocking the lenses out and letting her keep the frames is probably the best way forward - that way she still gets to look like mum but without risking her eyesight. And yes, I agree with you, wearing a prescription she doesn't need can't be beneficial.

How do you know mum has not already changed the lenses?

I don't think you should basically steal and hide something that belongs to her - I understand why, but it's not a good way to get off on the right foot with her.

I'd give them back, explain you were having a look at them to see if the lenses could be replaced, and talk to her about a solution that won't be bad for her. Specsavers will let you re-use old frames so they must be able to replace lenses.

Also ultimately you aren't in charge about things like this, her parents are. A better way might be to let her wear them and see if she does get a headache, then explain why in a nice, friendly way (not "told you so").

Hiding them is really mean.

Having a conversation about affecting her eyesight and "how about we get clear lenses in them/buy some just for you" is the right thing to do. Although maybe better from her parents, not you.

She's not your daughter. You are her dad's partner. I'm sure her mum, her real biological mum, has had this conversation. Reading glasses will not harm vision.

BTW how do you know she has perfect vision? YABVU to hide the glasses.

I would let her wear them.
I doubt it will last long and I would be really surprised if they did her any harm.

Let her have her glasses back. They are her mum's, she is attached to them, they won't hurt her.

Needsasock by looking through the lenses you can tell they are prescription.

Ladymoth of course you're right I shouldn't be hiding/stealing anything from her.
I understand I'm not in charge of the situation however, if it was my niece/friend's child I would be exactly the same in not wanting them to wear it, but the difference there is I would feel comfortable speaking to their parents about it. Here DH is so laid-back he's like "ahhhh I'm sure it doesn't matter" and as a parent myself (and a teacher so i'm used to being in loco parentis lol) I wouldn't let my own child damage their eyesight like that so its difficult for me to just step back and let it happen with DSD. If a student came into class wearing unnecessary prescription lenses I would confiscate until the end of the day!
Although maybe I'm being dramatic and hopefully all she will get is a headache with no long term effects

My eyesight has been irreparably affected from wearing glasses with the wrong prescription, and that was as an adult.

Admittedly that was over a longer period of time, but still.

Please don't take any chances with this.

YABU Im sure she'll get bored of wearing them soon and it really isn't t your call if her Mum and Dad are happy for her to wear them.