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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for my own baby things back?

41 replies

WinterIsHereJon · 30/10/2016 17:02

We've been storing quite a few things in MILs loft due to lack of space. This included a Moses basket, crib, pram etc. We are now moving house so DP has been back and forth collecting things. MIL has refused to give back the baby-related items because BIL and partner are having a baby so she wants them in case it stays at her house. DP and I are trying for another baby, although she doesn't know this because she disapproves due to us already having one of each Hmm

AIBU to demand our things back?

OP posts:
DorotheaHomeAlone · 30/10/2016 17:03

I'm not sure how you could possibly be unreasonable to ask for your own stuff back. She probably will guess about the ttc though when you insist!

NovemberInDailyFailLand · 30/10/2016 17:05

Well, of course you are nbu.

Since when was she the authority on your marriage/family planning as well!

NavyandWhite · 30/10/2016 17:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
WinterIsHereJon · 30/10/2016 17:08

I forgot to say that she has already helped herself to some of the things we were storing - cushions that matched her new wallpaper, Christmas decorations etc. She's very...difficult. DP, BIL and FIL rarely question her so she and I have a rather strained relationship as I don't always go along with her wishes.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 30/10/2016 17:09

Might she have given them away

Piehunter · 30/10/2016 17:10

Send DP up to the loft to gather them himself if she won't "give them back" you don't need to ask for things you own!

mysistersimone · 30/10/2016 17:10

She's being phenomenally rude re-disributing your stuff. It's not hers to give away. Wow just wow. Get your DP to tell her, you might want to sell it.

Say you're going to ttc next year, so you'll not be buying all new stuff. Then she won't at least harass you for a few months.

RortyCrankle · 30/10/2016 17:12

Of course YANBU to want your things back and it is none of your MIL's business why. If she wants baby things then she can buy them.

mysistersimone · 30/10/2016 17:15

Never ask her to store anything again. Storing stuff for your son doesn't entitle her to help herself. Stop her now or it won't end.

NapQueen · 30/10/2016 17:16

You need to tell her you are both coming to take everything of yours this week. Never ask to store anything there again.

Richardhun · 30/10/2016 17:16

Just say that you have a friend in need.

Boredbeforeievenbegan · 30/10/2016 17:16

Wow, how rude! Yanbu!

mysistersimone · 30/10/2016 17:17

Sorry, read the OP wrong. I thought she wanted to give the stuff to you BIL, not keep it at her house. Still totally wrong.

ijustwannadance · 30/10/2016 17:18

Go get them when fil is in alone.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 30/10/2016 17:21

How did you ask for it back? Did you say: "Can we have it back?"

Maybe ask her in front of lots of people when would be a good time for you to collect it.

Kr1stina · 30/10/2016 17:33

Next time you know she has visitors , send DP round to collect your things. Don't tell her he's coming .

If she objects or ask why , he can just say " sorry, DW has promised them to her best friend, who's pg "

Then never ask her for any favours ever again. She's shown she's not trustworthy .

happypoobum · 30/10/2016 17:34

YANBU - get up there yourself and get it back - thieving cow!!!

ohtheholidays · 30/10/2016 17:34

When's she next going to be out of the house?

I'd get in there as soon as possible and remove everything that is yours including the cushions and Christmas decorations she's taken!

Your MIL sounds like a Nightmare!Someone needs to explain to her what theft means!

FurryLittleTwerp · 30/10/2016 17:36

Agree ^^

Tell them you've promised them to someone your future baby

Definitely grab the cushions - what a bloody cheek Shock

Grab the Christmas decorations when they're on display at Christmas

bumblefeline · 30/10/2016 17:37

Crikey I would demand the stuff back and your cushions. Your MIL is a thief.

HereIAm20 · 30/10/2016 18:05

I wouldn't say they were for anyone else though because MIl will believe BIL/SIL are more deserving than a friend.

Just say that you are collecting stuff because now you have moved you have the space to store your own stuff and not rely on them for storage.

Trifleorbust · 30/10/2016 18:16

Obviously YANBU. Your DP needs to tell her in no uncertain terms that this is your stuff and he will be collecting it on X or Y date.

Creampastry · 30/10/2016 19:00

Find out when MIL is out and go there when just FIL is there and take all your stuff, including the cushions.

Original poster
WinterIsHereJon · 30/10/2016 20:46

Thanks, completely typical behaviour from MIL so sometimes I worry that I'm not seeing things objectively.

I've spoken to her this evening. She was adamant she needs the crib at least because she will "be lucky enough to finally have a GC sleep over as a baby". This was a definite dig at me; DCs were breastfed which made her very resentful over not being able to have them overnight for the first year or so, but that's a whole other story! She also said she paid for the price so it's actually hers!!!

She's sent FIL up with the Moses basket, but that's all. I'm so mad. DP is out for now so will have to tackle her again tomorrow.

OP posts:
Original poster
WinterIsHereJon · 30/10/2016 20:47

Paid for the pram, that should have said!

OP posts:
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