To "waste" a weeks annual leave on this?

[NapQueen]

I work 4 days a week but shifts so any of the seven weekdays, starting as early as 7am and working as late as 11.30pm. This is facilitated by the fact that dh works mo -Fri 8-4 term time only.

He is away with work next February (not the half term) mon-fri and we were chatting about it.

I had said to him that I would be taking the mon-fri off work (tagging it onto the full week we are both off prior for a fair holiday) as it would make life easier with the kids (2 and 5).

Dh thinks this is "unnecessary" and that I can just ask to do Earlies. Meaning I'd have to have the dcs dropped at the cm by 6.30am! Whilst I imagine the cm wouldn't mind as a random week, I honestly don't want to have the stress of (1) trying to wangle Earlies all week (2) having to put onto the cm and (3) being exhausted by the constant much earlier starts - I would need to be up at least 30 mins earlier to get the kids and me ready and really wouldn't be too much fun after work as I'd be shattered!

I have lots of AL, at least 5 weeks plus all 8 bank holidays.

Aibu to just want a nice relaxing week with the kids??

It's not really his business is it? Unless it will mean him using week of his A/L at another point in the year to cover a week you normally would have?

He is off all school holidays anyways. We have a family week away Feb and again some point in the summer. There's plenty leave left after all of that.

Lovely relaxing week at home = not wasted.

I don't think it's waste either. Especially if you have plenty of AL to cover other family holidays and days out etc.

In that case go for it. Not really his business. What does he need your A/L saved for?

Not quite the same but DH was away 2 weeks running recently and on the second week the children had an inset day on my one day off, so I took a different day as leave. Made the week a lot more relaxed.

If he isn't even there, what difference does it make to him? If you're running the family logistics without him, it's up to you to decide what's necessary and unnecessary.

No not at all a waste. I took a days leave while dh was away as I know I would be stressed out.

Sounds like a good idea to me. I have done the same when dh has had to go away with work. Had a lovely time, with peace and quiet during school hours

How is it a waste if it means you have to do it on your own all week its your AL not his it isnt affecting anything else take it

Oh I don't see it as a waste , but he seems to. I really did want to say "it's none of your business" but we usually aren't rude to one another.

He won't be there so it doesn't effect him.

Take the time off and enjoy not having to run around like a blue arsed fly.

Sounds like leave well spent to me .

Have just done exactly the same for half term week rather than swap shifts about and my stress levels are non existent compared to what they were . If it does you good , it can't be a waste.

Your annual leave = your choice.

If he doesn't want you to take the week off, then he needs to reschedule his work trip or organise extra childcare.

I would probably do the same in that position if I had enough leave. Just say you want the time off with the kids. It would be hard for him to argue that is a waste.

How would it be a waste to spend time with your 2 yo and be able to pick 5 yo from school. Or even have a couple of childfree days catching up on stuff?

Is he usually there in the morning for your earlies? Nobody wants to drag 2 children out at 6.30 am if you can help it

Yeah I leave at 6.30 and he takes the dcs to the cm at 7.30. If I'm on a late I'm up at 7 with them.

A moment enjoyed is never wasted - my favourite saying!

Does it affect him in that you won't have another week off with him, say in the summer?

Not that I can think. I normally only take one week al in the summer and have 3 days off the other 5 weeks.

It just makes sense for you to be off really

Your holiday YOUR choice, enjoy your week with the kids.

Perhaps he was just thinking you could manage without having to use up a week's holiday, but he obviously hasn't processed the fact that you'd actually like to take the time off to spend a mummy week with your children. What is wrong with that? Nothing. Only good. Hope you do it.

YANBU. He is.