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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

2 year old left at party

59 replies

PissPotPourri · 22/10/2016 21:06

So, we hosted dc2s 3rd birthday party in a hall today. It was bigger that anticipated with about 30 children there (I'm on prosecco now).
Anyway, as parents turned up I was offering hot drinks, and one mum said, "thanks but don't worry, I'm not staying. I need to go shopping. That's OK isn't it?" Her dd is a few months younger than my DC so only 2. I was so taken aback I simply asked if she would be alright, and her mum said she would be. I asked if she knew any of the other parents (I don't know this girl) and her mum said she knew a couple of mums there who work at the nursery where her dd and my dc go. I asked if they knew to keep an eye on her, and she looked a bit amused and went to speak to them.
Dh and I tried to keep an eye on the girl through the party but we were very busy. And now I'm resenting that if something had happened to her i would have felt (been?) responsible. AIBU to believe that a two year old is FAR to young to be left unaccompanied at a party, especially when she doesn't know the hosting parents? My friend reckons we were used as a couple of hours of free child care... I just feel annoyed at the presumption and upset for her dd who did look a bit lost and alone.

OP posts:
SpeckledyBanana · 22/10/2016 21:06

I agree, 2 is too young to be left.

Rachie1986 · 22/10/2016 21:08

2 seems very young..

PetyrBaelish · 22/10/2016 21:09

Ridiculous, YANBU. We can leave older children because they can (mostly) follow instructions. 2yos are in a world of their own.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 22/10/2016 21:09

Round here people start dumping Grin in Reception nd that's not everyone. DC is in Y1 and I still stay!

arethereanyleftatall · 22/10/2016 21:10

Too young IMO but I wouldn't worry.

A 2 year old friend of my dd ended up coming for a sleepover at ours once. I thought the mum was going to come too for the first few hours since I'd only ever said hello to her, but she just dumped her at the door with a toothbrush and pair of pjs. Oh well.

AliTheMinx · 22/10/2016 21:11

That is shocking!!! Far far too young - poor child x

2kids2dogsnosense · 22/10/2016 21:12

YANBU!

At this age it is discourteous at best, and could be positively dangerous leaving a young child in a situation like this where there is so much excitement and a large number of children to supervise.

What if everybody had decided to do the same thing, and you and two or three family members were left to look after 30 kids? What if her child gets upset and can't be comforted because she doesn't know all of these strangers? What if there was an accident and one or more children needed to go to hospital? Who looks after them/takes them?

I know that these may be unlikely scenarios, but things happen.

I think she was very cheeky.

Floggingmolly · 22/10/2016 21:12

Why did you invite a random 2 year old you don't actually know to your child's party?

MyGiddyUncle · 22/10/2016 21:12

YANBU, 2 is far too young to be left.

However...if you don't know the child, why was she invited to your dc's party?

Nurszilla · 22/10/2016 21:13

Round here it's an unwritten rule that until they can wipe their own arse, a parent stays. So YANBU.

Original poster
PissPotPourri · 22/10/2016 21:14

flogging and mygiddy because my dc knows her. They are friends. I invited my DC's friends, not mine!

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 22/10/2016 21:14

On the flip side, I think the only reason most parents stay is to hover over their own dc at the meal time and make sure they get some cucumber, rather than 15 party rings.
I guess you were expected to change her nappy/wipe her arse. Rude.

Sassypants82 · 22/10/2016 21:15

The poor little thing Sad
My little one is 2.5 & if I were to leave him somewhere without somebody he knew well specifically looking after him, he'd be very upset. I can't even imagine it.
You were used as childcare.

Eevee77 · 22/10/2016 21:16

Nursery friends I assume flogging? I know the names of all my LO's best friends at nursery but I couldn't pick them out of a crowd and I've never met their parents.

Anyway OP , YANBU at all, far too young.

BestZebbie · 22/10/2016 21:17

Did you have her mobile number in case you needed an emergency contact? That us the thing that would bother me most - if you couldn't reach the parent if there was an accident, or the venue had to be evacuated ten mins after she left, or something.

Original poster
PissPotPourri · 22/10/2016 21:18

At one point she spilt her drink all over the table and down her dress. I mopped her up and made sure she was OK but in those situations a 2yr old needs a hug from her mum imo

OP posts:
SpookyPotato · 22/10/2016 21:19

Same as Sassy, the idea of leaving my 2 year old at a party is awful.. The fact she looked amused tells you she probably does it often. She shouldn't have left her when you had a party to manage.

maybethedayafter · 22/10/2016 21:20

That's ridiculous. What if she had been an utter shit? Would you have been expected to deal with that? Or what if she had done an actual shit? Would you have been expected to deal with that?

I feel sorry for the child too - clearly her parents don't care about her that much if they're prepared to leave her with a relative stranger.

Original poster
PissPotPourri · 22/10/2016 21:20

Gosh best I didn't even think of that. I was caught so off guard i didn't even ask the obvious questions. God, I was remiss.

OP posts:
LoisEighty · 22/10/2016 21:21

Why did you agree to it then?

Original poster
PissPotPourri · 22/10/2016 21:21

Actually, I think I must have her number from her rsvp

OP posts:
Elmersnewfriend · 22/10/2016 21:22

Ha, Nurszilla, at my sons party earlier this month, there was one child whose parents left them. This of course was the kid who needed a 15 minute poo ( we were in a soft play so I needed to go with him) and who eventually emerged brandishing the loo roll and saying that they had finished. I did tell him he'd need to sort himself out - no way am I wiping another kids bum at that age!

Swirlingasong · 22/10/2016 21:23

Wow, definitely too young! Who on earth thinks it's ok to leave their two year old in the care of total strangers? Poor little thing.

Round here leaving children seems to start in reception but lots still stay. It breaks my heart when children who can't cope with it get dumped at parties and I've stayed at a few I know my own dc would be fine with, but a friend of theirs who knows me and not the host, always gets left and looks so lost.

Original poster
PissPotPourri · 22/10/2016 21:23

Lois agreed. In hindsight I've created a whole host of answers which would not be 'yes'. I was caught off guard, it was so unexpected, and also, she kind of told me, rather than asked. The "is that OK" was rhetorical. In retrospect I would have answered differently

OP posts:
RiverTam · 22/10/2016 21:25

I would guess she's probably used to it, poor little thing. DD is in year two and I still don't automatically dump and run!