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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu about kitten overnight in carrier?

46 replies

Piiikaaaaachuuuuuu · 06/10/2016 15:05

I got a kitten for my partner, 9 weeks old, lovely. After we got home, i stayed up for an hour and went to bed, dp staying up to monitor him and pfc together. I expected to be up when he was getting to bed, but he went to bed way earlier than i expected, and when i got up for a midnight wee, found the kitten in the carrier. I went and got a mesh dog crate from under the bed and set the kitten up in it with a bed, tray and food/water. I stayed calm and tried to wake him up and tell him how it's absolutely unacceptable to leave a kitten that young for potentially 5 hours without food or water, or a litter tray, especially unmonitored? He loves the cat and is great with pfc, and has been very excited about having his own, as pfc was an adult when they met. He's researched loads about kittens, I just think it was a ridiculous oversight. He knew where the crate was, just didn't think of it.

Aibu to be seething inside, over what i think is essentially him having a huge oversight? If id have not got up, he would have been in there for 4 hours longer until my alarm went off. And would have felt awful for the kitten, and even more furious.

Simple mistake, but awful potential consequences :(

OP posts:

crayfish · 06/10/2016 15:12

Not really sure what a pfc is so it's hard to make sense of your post but no YNBU about leaving the cat in the carrier, what a cruel thing to have done - I can't understand anybody, other than maybe a child, thinking that was a good idea and certainly nobody who knows anything about cats.

Personally I also don't agree with keeping cats in cages (the mesh dog crate you describe). I have had cats all my life (integreated new ones with old along the way) and have never ever needed to do this. The one exception was after one kitten had surgery and wasn't allowed to run around on his injured leg. Cats, especially a new kitten, need to be able to go and hid until they feel secure. IMO trapping a cat in a cage is cruel. If you are integrating the new kitten and are concerned about leaving it with the old one then seperate rooms is fine but there is no need to put a cat in a cage.

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/10/2016 15:15

I'm assuming Precious First Cat.

crayfish · 06/10/2016 15:18

Haha! I didn't think of that. I was asssuming precious first child but that made no sense with the rest of the post.

BorpBorpBorp · 06/10/2016 15:20

Obviously YANBU, of course he shouldn't have locked the kitten in its carrier. But didn't you talk about what the plan was for keeping the kitten separate from the other cat, so you both agreed that the plan was to have it in the dog crate for the first night (or whatever)?

Does he understand why he shouldn't have put the kitten in the carrier? What was his reaction?

newmumwithquestions · 06/10/2016 15:30

YANBU to be upset about this but why wouldn't you sort this out in the hour you were home, or direct your partner to do so? I'm confused, I've had cats and the first thing I'd do on bringing them home is sort out water, litter tray and then food whilst opening cat carrier and encouraging them out (not dragging as they'll come out in their own time, but this is generally within 5 mins). I can't understand why a kitten would be in the carrier for an hour. Surely with a new pet you'd want to play with it straight away? Personally I get them on the litter tray straight away too, and if they show any signs of wanting to go, as I want to minimise accidents!
Also I second the cage comments, if you are worried about the kitten bolting or introductions to an existing cat then containing within a separate room should be sufficient?

kali110 · 06/10/2016 15:30

Not unreasonable at all. Poor kitten.
cray one of ours loves his crate. After having an op he lived in it for 3 months. Now we keep it for when we go out for the one as he's almost blind. He loves it. he goes in it willingly. It's like his own bedroom

Dayna1 · 06/10/2016 15:34

Definitely a thing to consider with cats is that they can go crazy in confined spaces, so not being unreasonable. Still, don't be too harsh, as everyone can make a mistake.

Zeeandra · 06/10/2016 15:34

A crate an animal can wander in and out of is very different to one they are locked in.

This post reads scarily like neither of you know how to look after cats?

Zeeandra · 06/10/2016 15:35

I've honestly never seen a cat in a crate unless it was being transported.

crayfish · 06/10/2016 15:41

Yes a crate the cat can come and go in and out of is one thing, but I thought the OP was describing shutting the cat in the crate (else why would it needs it's litter tray etc in there). My only experience has been with my kitten in a cage for 8 weeks and the poor guy was utterly tormented by it. Having to have his litter tray next to his water bowl upset him and he was miserable. He'll happily go and sit in a shoebox now though!

Original poster

Piiikaaaaachuuuuuu · 06/10/2016 15:41

The plan was he stay up until i was awake, he went to bed early. I was half asleep when i did it, and it isnt a long term plan, just for a couple of hours while i sleep. I just didn't think he'd be that irresponsible. The kitten also seems reasonably happy in there, and looks like he feels safe, it is quite big.

His reaction was "i wanted him to be safe from Precious First Cat" and that i was being mean for waking him up. I'll have a word with him tonight, he does love the kitten, he just made a stupid mistake which luckily hasn't caused any harm. I just don't see why he'd not even google it. He said he asked me when I was asleep.

Obviously going to put down the rules, its something i didn't think about because it seems so fucking obvious to me. I'll come up with a better bedroom for him for tonight though, that can be used long term.

OP posts:

phillipp · 06/10/2016 15:41

I think you are both unreasonable. You came home with a kitten and went off to bed with no discussion about where the animal would sleep?

The crate you wanted it to sleep in was still packed up under the bed.

He was unreasonable for putting in a carrier, you were unreasonable to buy a kitten for someone who doesn't know the first thing about looking after kittens and not discussing plans.

I don't have an opinion on cats in crates, I don't have cats so have no clue, but I would have thought cats wouldn't like crates.

phillipp · 06/10/2016 15:43

You got up a midnight for a wee and he had gone to bed early?

What time were you meant to be getting up?

I don't get this set up at all, were you meant to be sleeping in shifts?

TheCatsMother99 · 06/10/2016 15:45

YANBU in that the kitten should't have been left in the carrier but I highly suspect he did it without thinking, with no malicious reasoning and probably though he was doing the right thing in keeping it away from the older cat.

Might be an idea for you to speak to him asap and have a plan for what you're going to do with the kitten, ie, what room will be it's safe place where you can keep it away from the older cat until they've settled and can be introduced properly so he doesn't do anything silly like that again. Ideally, this kind of a conversation should have happened before you brought the kitten home but never mind.

ToastDemon · 06/10/2016 15:47

You both sound really scatty and clueless.

Soubriquet · 06/10/2016 15:50

It's one thing to put a cat in a crate with access to food, water and a litter box

It's not on to leave a kitten in a cat box all night

Saying that though you don't sound like you planned very well when you got said car

Soubriquet · 06/10/2016 15:50

Cat not car

pinkie1982 · 06/10/2016 15:53

I am confused. Why would you make a cat sleep in a box/crate/carrier anyway?? Thats nonsense.

Why were you taking it in turns to sleep? It's a kitten, not a sick baby.

I just don't get it.

U for locking it away in any case but VU for not giving it water and food/toilet area.

You both should not have pets

crayfish · 06/10/2016 15:54

You shouldn't need to 'google' that you don't leave a 9 week old kitten trapped in a cat carrier for five hours... You said that he had 'researched loads about kittens' but it doesn't sound like it.

titchy · 06/10/2016 15:56

You both sound pretty crap at animal care tbh.

ToastDemon · 06/10/2016 15:57

Also the current thinking is that kittens should stay with their mother for at least 12 weeks, why did you take it so young?

Soubriquet · 06/10/2016 15:58

Why are you taking it turns?

Like someone said it's a cat.

You set them up with food, water and their litter box and you leave them. Preferably confined to one room so they don't get lost

Original poster

Piiikaaaaachuuuuuu · 06/10/2016 16:01

I didn't think I'd have to have a conversation saying not to leave a kitten in a carrier for hours tbh. Kitten seemed perfectly happy and untraumatised by his confinement, if he was obviously unhappy with it i'd have done something else. As it was, he just slept. The plan was to effectively sleep in shifts.

OP posts:

Sancia · 06/10/2016 16:04

Crate training is for dogs. You do know the difference?

You both sound about 12.

HermioneJeanGranger · 06/10/2016 16:09

I don't understand why you need to sleep in shifts for a kitten?

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