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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset by this child?

43 replies

cwtchesandprosecco · 05/10/2016 18:33

First AIBU.... and I probably am, but I can't stop thinking about what this child said to me today.

I was getting off the bus on a fairly quiet street when I suddenly heard this girl of about 6/7 laughing really loudly. I looked around to see where it was coming from and she pointed at me and went 'it's a fat lady' laughed some more and then went 'you're so fat, you're so fat.' Obviously I was really shocked and looked around for who she was with but her mum/ whoever it was appeared to be quite far up the street, so I just walked away.

I'm ashamed to say that when I got in it made me cry and it's been playing on my mind all day. I recently lost a good bit of weight and am now a 12/14 and 5'10 so I was feeling pretty good until this! So, AIBU being so upset by something a child said?

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 05/10/2016 18:36

No, YANBU - it was a hurtful and unkind thing for her to say - I am overweight and I would have been devastated!

Well done on your weightloss - go and look in the mirror and remind yourself that you are beautiful inside and out.

MycatsaPirate · 05/10/2016 18:36

YANBU and if that was MY child she'd be getting a right telling off.

The child was rude. Extremely rude. Please don't take it to heart, she's clearly not being brought up very well but it's not her fault.

You've done brilliantly to lose weight and you aren't fat if you are a size 12 and 5 10! Well done.

MrsHathaway · 05/10/2016 18:37

I'm not surprised you were upset. You sound beautifully proportioned, though, so you shouldn't feel personally offended.

That child is going to have a hard life. It may be difficult to feel sorry for her but that's probably what you need to do.

MrsHathaway · 05/10/2016 18:38

Actually, forget that. Even if you were a size 32-34 it was still horribly rude for her to point and laugh at a total stranger.

What a horrible home she must come from, to be so cruel at such a tender age.

ayeokthen · 05/10/2016 18:38

Firstly it doesn't sound like you are overweight so it was especially needless and nasty, secondly even if you were absolutely morbidly obese then it still wouldn't be ok! Please don't let her get to you, it was a horrible awful thing to say, and it's not true!

SugarMiceInTheRain · 05/10/2016 18:39

YANBU. I'd feel hurt too. I remember a couple of children pointing out my spots (35 and still get hormonal teenage spots, grrrr) and it really stung. I'm aware of them and no amount of makeup seems to disguise them so I've stopped bothering. Well done on your weight loss. I bet you actually look fab.

Beardsareweird · 05/10/2016 18:40

There is no way that you could be considered fat with your height/dress size. The child was a rude little shit and needs a good slap.

Topseyt · 05/10/2016 18:42

Try to put the little shit out of your mind.l

It sounds as though you have done really well losing the weight, so congratulations there.

If you see her again and she starts again then approach her mum, especially if you can see her on the same street (hoping it is her).

kate33 · 05/10/2016 18:44

Erm, you are a 12 - 14 and five ten! You are in no way fat! Is it possible that you still see yourself as bigger and that's why this horrible comment upset you so much? Regardless, what a rude child, I would be horrified if any of mine said something so cruel to a stranger. I am sorry this happened to you op, I bet you are a Fox! X

MistressMerryWeather · 05/10/2016 18:52

I agree with Kate, you can't be very fat at all. Come sit by my large arse and I will show you some fat.

I can understand how it would be upsetting though. Children can be shits.

Well done on losing weight! Just keep focusing on that and all the positive things that come with it.

WooWooChooChoo · 05/10/2016 18:55

There is no possibility you are fat. Are you sure she wasn't saying something else to someone else?

If she really was so rude, please don't let her bother you. What does the opinion of one badly brought up child count for? I am sure that everyone who knows you thinks you are looking incredible after losing weight. Flowers

SharkBastard · 05/10/2016 18:59

How horrible!

Now there is no way you are fat with those stats!

I had a friend of DD walk back home with us for a play date once and she started laughing at a large man, she was 7 and I gave her a stern telling off! I do not tolerate such abhorrent behaviour in anyone and we need to teach children how hurtful words can be!

Shockers · 05/10/2016 19:01

OP that must have been really humiliating Sad.

I know a child like this. She has a really awful home life and is pretty much ignored by her mother.

She lashes out with words to cause the maximum amount of hurt to her victim; I don't think she has realised that there are other ways to get attention.

She's 8 years old. I thought of her as I read your post.

Original poster
cwtchesandprosecco · 05/10/2016 19:02

Thank you everyone... I thought I was going to be told to grow up!

@MrsHathaway I think I agree with you and everyone else that I should probably feel sorry for her. Thinking rationally it's not something a child would usually randomly shout at a stranger in the street.

@kate33 I think that's exactly what it is, I'm terrified of putting weight back on so maybe that's why it upset me so much. I also have a horrendous cold so I'm looking pretty rough at the moment!

@Woowoo it was definetely me, she pointed right at me and it was only me and her, and her mum was quite a way down the street

OP posts:
Justaboy · 05/10/2016 19:07

From a boys POV five 10 and 12/14 seems to me to be rather fanciable;)

If were allowed to say that here;?.

Champers4Pampers · 05/10/2016 19:07

YANBU, this would upset me too. The child was out of order, I would be mortified to hear my 6yr old son talking like that.

You are not fat at that height and dress size. X

bessie84 · 05/10/2016 19:09

NO WAY are you fat!!! if you are, i wish i was as "fat" as you! sending you huge hugs xxx

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 05/10/2016 19:10

I don't think the OP's proportions are relevant - unless it's okay for the little shit to have said it to someone overweight?

Comejointhemurder · 05/10/2016 19:11

She's not a shit; she's a child who hasn't been taught that making personal comments isn't nice.

Don't worry about it. Children say things that are often inappropriate or just entirely incorrect.

I'd be concerned that something else was going on in your life that has resulted in you being so upset by a comment from a child unconnected to you. It hurt you though and that's the important thing Flowers

elfies · 05/10/2016 19:11

After a recent heart attack I attended a referral aquasise group in the local pool which had a main pool for schools which we had to pass . One child howled like a dog at our group and every child in the pool joined in . Not one of the three adults with them or any pool staff told off the children .I was mortifed and never returned .

youarenotkiddingme · 05/10/2016 19:15

Of course you're not BU.

Even if overweight (which you clearly aren't) the child is rude and what she said was hurtful.

It would be the same if she'd commented on race or disability - size is no more hurtful.

youarenotkiddingme · 05/10/2016 19:15

less hurtful

CrazyNameCrazyGuy · 05/10/2016 19:19

I'm the same clothes size and an inch shorter than you.

I'm a goddess not in the slightest bit fat so I very much doubt you are!

Maybe you aren't wearing flattering clothes and they make you look bigger than you are? I know a few ladies who have lost lots of weight but still wear baggy, shapeless clothes as they are used to 'hiding' their shape.

Congrats on your weight loss Flowers

JustForThisTopic · 05/10/2016 19:38

Charming little child.

Her mother was quite a way down the street you say... 😬... you should have told her it was because children are tasty & you like them to snack on when you get off the bus 😬

IF children ask why I'm fat or state it in a very innocent way, I'll tell them in an age appropriate way, why. It stings a little, but I hope neatly don't mind when they're just making an observation or asking a genuine question.

If they're older & being nasty I'll ask them how they'd feel if kids were saying this to their Mum who'd been ill & now has to take drugs to stay alive, but they make her 'fat'. Usually shuts the little gits up.

IsItMeOr · 05/10/2016 19:53

It sounds like the child was randomly trying to get a reaction.

Unfortunately she accidentally struck on a sore point for you.

I would try not to dwell on it (easier said than done!), and enjoy your new look. Flowers

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