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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset by this child?

43 replies

cwtchesandprosecco · 05/10/2016 18:33

First AIBU.... and I probably am, but I can't stop thinking about what this child said to me today.

I was getting off the bus on a fairly quiet street when I suddenly heard this girl of about 6/7 laughing really loudly. I looked around to see where it was coming from and she pointed at me and went 'it's a fat lady' laughed some more and then went 'you're so fat, you're so fat.' Obviously I was really shocked and looked around for who she was with but her mum/ whoever it was appeared to be quite far up the street, so I just walked away.

I'm ashamed to say that when I got in it made me cry and it's been playing on my mind all day. I recently lost a good bit of weight and am now a 12/14 and 5'10 so I was feeling pretty good until this! So, AIBU being so upset by something a child said?

OP posts:
flippinada · 05/10/2016 20:01

Yanbu to feel upset by somone (child or not) making rude personal comments - I expect she's probably heard similar at home if she thinks it's ok to talk like that.

I remember getting similar a few years ago from a charming little madam who couldn't have been more than 8. She marched up to me and said 'excuse me, do you own a hairbrush, because your hair needs brushing' and ran off giggling. No adults around anywhere apart from me so you can draw your own conclusions from that.

I was more bemused than anything else tbh but obviously it stayed on my mind, probably because I'd recently given birth and was feeling sensitive about my appearance, so I understand why it would have upset you.

Imchangingmyname · 05/10/2016 20:09

Nasty little brat. You have to wonder where she's heard that though, obviously a nasty upbringing. My DC, similar age, wouldn't even think of insulting someone's weight/size.

Optimist3 · 05/10/2016 20:12

I think the child might have SEN and not know how to behave appropriately or will be badly parented.

12/14 is pretty average size wise but it wasn't about your size at all!!

ElleBellyBeeblebrox · 05/10/2016 20:14

Rude. I know it's hard, but try not to take it to heart, kids can have funny ideas! (At school pick up one day when my Dd was in foundation one of the other boys came out and said loudly to his mum pointing at me:"I don't like that one mummy. That one, her there. I don't like her...". Not sure what I'd done to upset him! Please try to forget it Flowers

stayathomegardener · 05/10/2016 20:14

Interestingly DD was saying today that when her boyfriends Aunt and her daughter were shown a photograph of her for the first time they said ohhh she's a little plump...
DD 17 is well under 8 stone.

Moral of this I think is other people's strange personal comments very often have nothing at all to do with you and are all about them.
Chin up op your weight sounds fine.

228agreenend · 05/10/2016 20:22

Justaboy - your fanciable comment made me smile, and yes, you are allowed to complement the op💕

e1y1 · 05/10/2016 20:24

No YANBU.

Kids can be so evil, but would like to think that it's mainly because they don't realise just how much words can hurt.

If she were mine, she would be getting a right telling off.

Congratulations on your weight loss.

FrancisCrawford · 05/10/2016 20:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FireSquirrel · 05/10/2016 20:29

The child was a rude little shit and needs a good slap.

No child needs 'a good slap', what is wrong with you?

nicp123 · 05/10/2016 20:36

We have a child near our house swearing and talking in a vile manner with strangers or people just passing by. I recently had him knocking asking if we want our car to be washed by him.
I recognised him so asked my OH to come and speak to him. When my OH refused politely his 'service' he kicked our wall and used bad language. We called the police and were told the boy has learning difficulties and he shouldn't have been left alone by his guardians. The other day we have seen him in a car shouting out of the window swear words randomly. After having my own experiences I'll say to you not to take it personally... there are many mentally ill people out there...

TribbleTrouble · 05/10/2016 20:38

Gosh, I'm similar dimensions to you and I am most definitely not fat. I bet you look proper stunning

PregnantAndEngaged · 05/10/2016 20:40

Oh lovely, you poor thing :( YANBU. She may be a child, but what she has said was hurtful.

secrethideaway · 05/10/2016 20:50

There is a kid on my street who has ADHD, could easily say something like that and would never ever understand how it comes across or your reaction, she wouldn't mean it either - she's lovely, just has very poor impulse control. Not excusing the girl today but SEN sounds entirely possible.

DixieWishbone · 05/10/2016 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QueenLizIII · 05/10/2016 21:00

If her mum was far up the street, I would have called her names back. Tit for tat. But time she learned.

Draylon · 05/10/2016 21:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QueenLizIII · 05/10/2016 21:01

If her mum was far up the street I would have replied, and you're ugly.

Submariner · 05/10/2016 21:27

YANBU to be upset at all, it was really unkind of her.

As for the girl, she was 6! I can remember saying and doing some god awful stupid things as a child, don't we all? She's not a shit, she doesn't need a slap and she probably doesn't come from a harrowing home environment. I bet if her mum had heard she would have been mortified and the girl would have been told off.

She doesn't really sound like the devil incarnate to me, just a silly 6 year old girl.

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