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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My kid won't wipe their arse!

29 replies

crazybat · 04/10/2016 19:58

AIBU?

My son is 6.5

I'm in the bath.

He won't wipe his own arse and is currently begging me to do it for him.

25 minutes so far. I feel cruel. Apparently all I need to do is get out the bath wipe his bum and go back to my bath. (Different room)

OP posts:
BlancheBlue · 04/10/2016 20:00

Wto why have you been wiping his arse at 6.5 unless there is a sn reason

chitofftheshovel · 04/10/2016 20:01

Nah, fuck that shit. Assuming you've taught him how (cos otherwise you'd obviously do it). He's plenty old enough to sort himself out.

RueDeDay · 04/10/2016 20:02

Ha. My DD is the same. We have negotiated it down to once per day, her pre bedtime wee... She is apparently 'too bexhausted' to wipe by then.

Original poster
crazybat · 04/10/2016 20:03

I have tried everything... it's not a choice trust me. He's still there. Yes behavioural issues are there.

OP posts:
Original poster
crazybat · 04/10/2016 20:04

I think we might be getting somewhere!! HmmShock

OP posts:
Juanbablo · 04/10/2016 20:05

There was a thread about this a while ago that got very heated! But the op stood her ground and her dc wiped his own arse and continued to do so. Here's hoping your bum wiping days are over!

neonrainbow · 04/10/2016 20:07

Shouldn't have to wipe a NT kids arse at 6.5. Hold your ground!

Meadows76 · 04/10/2016 20:10

Seriously? If you want him To wipe his own arse then make it start some other time. Getting into a war with a 6.5 year old about toileting is quite frankly ridiculous. Your kid wants you, WTF is so difficult aabout helping him?

Original poster
crazybat · 04/10/2016 20:10

It's just been a massive issue. And I generally don't have an hour to spare every time he goes to have a stand off. But tonight I'm holding my ground.

He's scared of getting it on his fingers (he has sensory issues.)

Okay. He's having a go. That's all I want!! I've shown him a million times.

OP posts:
Original poster
crazybat · 04/10/2016 20:12

Nothing meadow. This is my point... it's so easy just to go and help him.

OP posts:
Original poster
crazybat · 04/10/2016 20:15

37 minutes. He's done it himself. And he's very chuffed with himself. X :)

OP posts:
Flobster · 04/10/2016 20:17

My four year old won't do his either, says he will do it at school not home! It's driving me mad, his other excuse is his bum won't let him in! I assume he means his cheeks Grin

SpaceDinosaur · 04/10/2016 20:18

YES!!! Well done crazy

Lots and lots and lots of praise

Original poster
crazybat · 04/10/2016 20:22

Super amounts of praise I'm so happy and proud of him !!!

I hear this too re the school thing what he actually does is not go at all at school/ or his dads etc he will hold it in until he's home when I can do it.

(He had an accident at school when he was poorly once) when he first started so that really didn't help.

OP posts:
AllTheUsernamesAreTaken3 · 04/10/2016 20:25

How about providing him with a disposable glove until he feels more confident? No-one wants shit on their fingers!

AllTheUsernamesAreTaken3 · 04/10/2016 20:26

Oh - didn't see the last few posts! Well done him!

Flobster · 04/10/2016 20:27

Mine doesn't go at school either!

Juanbablo · 04/10/2016 20:29

Well done little crazy!

Original poster
crazybat · 04/10/2016 20:33

That did cross my mind all the usernames I might have a go as I'm sure it won't be an easy ride straight away. Confused

He was really proud of himself for doing it but he's now upset that I want him to do it by himself every time. I think it's a comfort/habit/lazy/routine thing.

He has a few behavioural/independency issues and trying to tackle them one by one this one is definitely the hardest Sad

OP posts:
thecatsarecrazy · 04/10/2016 20:50

My son used to be like this, no issues he's just a stubborn little so and so. Thankfully now he will do it but at 6 he was still expecting me too. School he was fine home refused to do it.

AllTheUsernamesAreTaken3 · 05/10/2016 23:38

I hadn't even realised that my two held it in at school (I'm not sure I even know how to do that - if I need to go, I go) until they were much older and told me in a "Hey, I'm nine now, this stuff I used to do when I was 5 - what? Hahaha!" kinda way. Actually I appear to have missed quite a few things, like the school loos being too vile to spend more than a penny in.

Happy to report that now they are in their 30s, none has bowel issues of any sort!

sassymuffin · 06/10/2016 00:20

I had this when DS was younger, eventually he was diagnosed at 10 with dyspraxia/dcd and this is a common issue with children with this condition as they find it really difficult to complete this task and clean themselves properly so may try to avoid doing it themselves. Wet toilet wipes often help.

This probably is not the case with your ds but i thought I would mention it in case there was a chance it was relevant.

Original poster
crazybat · 06/10/2016 07:49

What is DCD? If you don't mind me asking?

We had another eventually successful bum wipe this morning. GrinGrinGrinGrinGrintoddler wipes are definitely the way forward

OP posts:
1DAD2KIDS · 06/10/2016 07:54

My 5 year old DD wont either. Does at school apparently but wont at home. Its starting to get really annoying when you have a million things to do and an 18 month old to look after. I have started a reward system to encourage her. I also find toilet tissue difficult. Has anyone tried those toilet wet wipes? I was wondering if that would encourage her too?

sassymuffin · 06/10/2016 21:06

crazybat DCD is development co-ordination disorder sometimes called dyspraxia. It is a neurological disorder that can cause problems with fine and gross motor skills. People with this condition can often appear clumsy and fall over or drop things a lot, they can have problems with things such as tying shoe laces, handwriting, fastening buttons, riding a bike and sports. Organisation can be a big issue too.

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