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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Racism

76 replies

manandbeast · 01/10/2016 09:56

I am white British woman married to a Jewish man. We have a son who is technically not Jewish but of course has cultural influences from his dad's side of the family. No issues - it's all great.

Last night I was with my dad and his wife (not my mum). Who started complaining about how Jewish people are basically all over the BBC.

I reminded her that my husband and son are Jewish - my dad said well your son is technically not Jewish. And left it at that.

I just feel a bit weird about it. Like there's some kind of underlying feeling towards my husband and son.

The other day at work my colleague described someone who had been a bit mean with s charity donation as a fucking Jew.

I'm really upset by this and really shocked. Worse were the comments from my family.

I'm not being U, am I?

OP posts:
JellyBelli · 01/10/2016 14:19

Theres a lot of anti Semetism around at the moment, its even a meme.

Personally I see a lot of influence online from groups who would be expect to be anti Semetic (and anti women,) and I am very concerned about it.
I dont think people who buy into it realise there's an agenda behind it. So they dont question it, which is bad enough, but to blindly go along with it is insanity.
Also, things have changed post Brexit. Some people feel the attitude is less PC so they no longer have to hide.

Margay · 01/10/2016 14:25

"It's new to me that Jewish is a race."

I just knew someone would say that. 😡

Under British law, Jews are a distinct ethnic as well as religious group.

Look up R (E) v Jewish Free School (2009) for a start.

weresquirrel · 01/10/2016 14:28

Well, Corbyn's election seems to be bringing a lot of Jew hating racists out of the closet.

ToastDemon · 01/10/2016 14:31

YelloDraw you're right, that is a massive generalisation and pretty offensive.

I can't speak for every person ever but "the left" that I know of don't hate Jewish people. Some of them are Jewish people. There is a lot of criticism towards Israeli policy which some people call anti Semitic.

suchafuss · 01/10/2016 16:52

yep I'm one who is against Israeli policy having collegues who have witnessed first hand what happens in this conflict . I am against the behaviour though and not the race.

HerFaceIsaMapOfTheWorld · 01/10/2016 17:31

Marygay I don't care what law you are trying to pull up, Jewish is NOT a race.
Can a black person hide being black? or an asian? nope but a Jewish person can because it is NOT a race its a religion and it urks me people like you think its acceptable to put it into the same category as race.

Original poster
manandbeast · 01/10/2016 17:49

why does it irk you so Herface?

OP posts:
weresquirrel · 01/10/2016 17:50

suchafus - What a load of ignorant rubbish. What has Israel got to do with what the OP's parents or colleague said? Is calling someone a "fucking Jew" or saying that there are too many Jews in the BBC a legitimate criticism of Israeli policy in your eyes Hmm? They didn't mention Israel once. This is the exact kind of ignorance that causes Jew hate equating casual racism against Jews with Israel when it has nothing to do with Israel. And by the way, "Israeli" is not a race, 20% of the Israeli population are Arabs.

Amethyst81 · 02/10/2016 00:33

No OP YANBU and you shouldn't have to grow a thicker skin! I get the same, My DH is Bengali, kids mixed race and I get exactly the same thing all the time, mostly from colleagues, even though they know my situation. Anti immigration, terrorism related ignorant comments on a weekly basis, not aimed at us but they have never met anyone from Bangladesh yet know more about his culture than me!

What really gets my goat is when people who never face racism tell me it doesn't exist in any more, yeah try living my life!

CockacidalManiac · 02/10/2016 00:39

It's disturbing how anti-semitism is on the rise again, usually hiding behind people claiming to be 'anti-zionist'. I'm a Labour member, but I'm disgusted by the amount of this kind of stuff around Corbyn and Momentum.

TotallyOuting · 02/10/2016 00:43

It's new to me that Jewish is a race.

It's also new to you that sexual acts can take place in strip clubs despite claiming to be an ex-stripper so excuse us if we take what you say with a pinch of salt.

Ignore the GF everyone.

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/10/2016 00:49

I wish people could separate the actions of extremists in Israel from Judaism. But this is the absolute essence of prejudice. Because some of a group (Israeli settlers, Muslim extremists, whomever) are arseholes, it means that the whole of a group is.

There have been an inordinately enormous crap-ton of white arseholes (Hilter, Stalin, every rapist in the Catholic Church, Putin, Trump, and on and on) and no one ascribes their evil to their race or religion.

The essence of prejudice is this, 'I think person x doing y is wrong. All people who are of the same othered group as x must also do y". It's stupid, ugly and wrong.

And, OP, your father and colleague are anti-semites.

BoopTheSnoot · 02/10/2016 00:52

YANBU. And you shouldn't have to grow a thicker skin. People should have to stop spouting this archaic, racist, anti-Semitic bollocks that has no place in society.

Fauchelevent · 02/10/2016 00:56

Living in a predominantly Jewish area alerts you to so many people's anti semitism.

But of course the modern MO is to just pretend all bigotry is over.

LikeDylanInTheMovies · 02/10/2016 00:58

The left don't like Jews because they are stereotypically capitalist, entrepreneurial, hard working and keep their money within their own communities . Ergo, hated by the left for basically doing well.

Yes massive generalisation and massively inaccurate.

Jews have been massively influential on the British Left from Marx and Engels through Manny Shinwell and Herbert Morrison and the Millibands (Ralph, David and Ed).

What has happened in the last 30 years is that some of the more dimwitted activists on the left have been unable to separate legitimate criticism of the actions of the state of Israel from naked antisemitism and in their (again legitimate) concerns over the plight of Palestinians have shared platforms and endorsed the views of out and out extremists who won't be happy until Israel is wiped from the map.

Perfectlypurple · 02/10/2016 06:20

Religion is one of the 9 protected characteristics so even if it isn't racism as such it is still a hate incident.

suchafuss · 02/10/2016 12:58

Weresquirrel-someone mentioned the criticism towards Israeli policy. I confirmed that I was against the policy but not against the Jewish people. Just how does that make me ignorant? I didn't comment anything about what had been said to the OP fwiw I think that its unaccptable to be told those things. Are you always so quick to try and shame someone who has an opinion that differs to yours?

Helmetbymidnight · 02/10/2016 13:08

I was in the park last week, when a bunch of kids (from the catholic school) were calling each other jew, as an insult.
I was on FB at the wkend and someone was sharing really interesting pics of skinheads from the 70s. Some people though we're commenting said they were great/not racist (despite the seig heilling and the swastikas.)

Anti Semitism is on the rise op. Unfortunately, on mumsnet it IS difficult to have a conversation about it.

hungryhippo90 · 02/10/2016 13:15

It's strange because I realise quite often that anti Semitic comments are made in public, in films, lots of places, which I feel would be challenged if they were comments about any other religious race.

Margay · 02/10/2016 13:43

Well, "not caring" about case law doesn't make it wrong. And it's "Margay", as in the animal, not "Marygay".

Also, I'm Jewish. Don't try to insist you know more about Judaism than I do, or than "people like me" (to use your phrase).

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/10/2016 14:49

I feel would be challenged if they were comments about any other religious race. Really? I believe anti-Semitism is on the rise but come on, Muslims get a possible future President of the US saying that they are all unwelcome.

HerFaceIsaMapOfTheWorld · 02/10/2016 15:25

TotallyOuting - take your obsession with me else where its creepy.

manandbeast - Because a black or Asian person cannot hide their race. I don't feel its fair to put religion in the same category. Majority of Jewish people are white and you would not think they were any different to a white Christian person unless they told you they were Jewish.

The antisemitism comments are of course unacceptable and tbh people are saying it is a new thing it really is not, I have heard loads of rude comments about Jewish people and its down to jealously

littleprincesssara · 02/10/2016 15:44

I'm half Israeli. Plenty of Israelis are very against the actions of the Israeli government, just as many Brits were against Blair's illegal war.

HerFace close your mouth dear you're lowering the IQ of the entire neighbourhood.

suchafuss · 02/10/2016 15:50

Littleprincess Great point made

Helmetbymidnight · 02/10/2016 16:13

You didn't answer why it irks you so much that jewish is a race herface.

As for tbh people are saying it is a new thing er no, no one has said that, have they? It's curious you think they have.