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AIBU?

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Original poster

7 year old viewing porn

94 replies

ipadshocker · 20/09/2016 13:24

DS1 aged 7 has been using my iPad for homework.Quick flick through history reveals he has seen some porn sites,first accessed by him searching for "Simpsons naked."Then obviously has seen other things and had a look at pornhub, fit chick teenage fuck and other similar.I am very shocked and don't know how to deal with this.I asked him what he had been doing with the iPad and he said he didn't want to tell me.When he realised I knew,he cried ,said he felt embarrassed and got upset.Quick chat about not looking at things unsuitable for children ,have obviously changed security and restricted iPad use and left it at that for now.What else should I do? We have never even had a facts of life discussion other than in biology/animals mating context.I think it was childhood curiosity initially but am worried about exposure at this age and whether I should talk more? Am also sad that I have let in happen by not being careful & supervising .Any advice?

OP posts:
takesnoprisoners · 20/09/2016 13:30

Why is safe search not enabled???? I think you need to look at security settings and make it child friendly. You can always disable it for when you need it!

Original poster
ipadshocker · 20/09/2016 13:40

It is now,obviously.I think I had to change it to access email then forgot to change it back.It is mainly used for homework on reading eggs etc & a few games.Bit late for that though,I really want advice about what to do now

OP posts:
ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 20/09/2016 13:43

We have never even had a facts of life discussion other than in biology/animals mating context.

This^ is a problem. You need to have lots of discussions about this, and as part of this you need to talk about what he was looking at and how it isn't a true representation.

MrsHam13 · 20/09/2016 13:47

Id be watching the links to see what he has actually seen and viewed for a start.

Then I'd be asking him if he has any questions or is worried about anything he seen. Because if it's made him curious id want to answer any questions rather than have him searching for things again to get answers.

Then id be telling him he wasn't allowed unsupervised access to the Internet again.

I remember when I was seven. The night before we went to Florida we were allowed to stay up late so we'd sleep on the plane. I turned off the dvd and lady chatterlys lover came on and I watched the whole thing. It obviously wasnt as graphic as full on port but I still had questions about it but my mum hadn't caught me so had no one to ask.

ApocalypseSlough · 20/09/2016 13:49

Am also sad that I have let in happen by not being careful & supervising

Aww diddums- he could have accessed pictures of animals being tortured or worse. This is 100% your fault.

Original poster
ipadshocker · 20/09/2016 13:52

apocalypseslough
Yes I know,thanks for pointing that out.Any advice about how to move on from my parenting failure or how to discuss porn with a seven year old?

OP posts:
00100001 · 20/09/2016 13:55

You should be worried about how he knows what porn is, and why he was looking for naked Simpsons in the first place.

00100001 · 20/09/2016 13:56

Rather than focus on what he was doing, find out why he was doing it.

Most 7 years olds aren't aware of porn, so wouldn't deliberately look for it. Unless they have been exposed to inappropriate content somewhere.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 20/09/2016 13:57

or how to discuss porn with a seven year old

Ask him what he knows about sex. Fill in the gaps (including emotional/consent/relationship stuff). Ask him about what he was watching - what did he think about it, does he have any questions?

Point out that pornography is a film rather than a documentary, and not real.

Make sure he understands that sex etc are not shameful or dirty, and that he can always talk about anything with you.

LoveYouSweetheart · 20/09/2016 13:57
Hmm

At 7 years of age, which is still very young... I would be questioning why he is looking up the word "naked" and why the word is even in his head.

This must have stemmed from somewhere!

00100001 · 20/09/2016 13:57

There's no need to "discuss porn" with him, you need to find out why he looked it up in the first place.

Kenduskeag · 20/09/2016 13:58

Stop leaving him with a bloody iPad for a start.

'Homework'? My 7 year old gets 'homework', he has to write some words and read a gentle book. I've never felt an urge to give him an iPad for these things. We sit together and do a little Duolingo. Call me 'old-fashioned'. The very idea of letting him browse is completely mind-boggling at this age.

If anything you could do with finding out where he even got the idea to search such material. Has some child at school mentioned such things? Or hey - maybe your kid IS 'that kid' telling all the others about porn. This could really escalate.

Lesson learned. Pop the iPad back in its box and let him stick to just using a nice sharp pencil for homework.

LoveYouSweetheart · 20/09/2016 13:58

00100001 Really glad to read what you just wrote, I didn't want others to think I was being abrupt.

I don't class this as normal behaviour for of a 7 year old.

RJnomore1 · 20/09/2016 14:00

Pie hub is hardcore. It's not like a few photos of topless women.

7 is very young to be looking this up. How did he get from naked Simpsons to pornhub? Why?

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 20/09/2016 14:00

I don't class this as normal behaviour for of a 7 year old.

Not even a seven year old who knows nothing about sex?

RJnomore1 · 20/09/2016 14:00

Pie hub sounds good Blush I obviously meant pornhub but my phone knew better.

MrsDc7 · 20/09/2016 14:02

Jeez... some absolute arseholes on this site. The OP clearly stated she was remorseful for letting it happen in the first place - what is the point of coming on here and posting nasty comments like that aw diddums ?? Think some of the trolls on MN should go back under their bridges

Clarabumps · 20/09/2016 14:02

fuck sake apocalypse.. lay off. Maybe the OP can jump in her time machine and make it un-happen.
Something similar happened to me two years ago when ds was 7. He was googling "catwoman's boobs". I seriously did not think he would have looked at anything like that. Obviously I was wrong. We spoke about how a lot of stuff on the internet wasn't suitable for young peoples eyes/maturity.
Don't beat yourself up, it happens but you'll take better precautions next time and it's good to start a dialogue.

myfavouritecolourispurple · 20/09/2016 14:03

It's not as easy as enabling safe search. We have operator-level filtering, but it does not apply to the Youtube app for example. There is a restricted mode for Youtube but (a) it's too easy to turn off and (b) it's too restricted eg I could not look at a language video last week! And you can't delete it fully from tablet computers (if you can please let me know how).

The only way to prevent this is constant supervision, computers in public places etc. Easy to do with a 7 year old, less easy when you pop out for an hour and leave a nearly 14 year old at home on their own. It is horrible that this is so accessible these days. I'm sure boys used to look at porn magazines in the past if they could get their hands on them but now it is just too easy.

I'd be wondering what on earth a 7 year old has heard to be looking for this stuff though. I can understand it more with a 13 year old. Would it be worth mentioning it to the school?

Kr1stina · 20/09/2016 14:04

You need to ask him gently if anyone else has shown him things like this, either photos or videos .

If anyone has talked to him about these things

If anyone has shown him what words to search for

If anyone has asked him to keep anything a secret . Make sure he know the difference between a suprise ( I've bought your sister a present don't tell her it's a suprise ) and a secret ( don't tell you mum I said / did this )

Say that's it's ok to tell you anything and you won't be angry with him

Try to react calmly and factually to anything he tells you

Buzzardbird · 20/09/2016 14:06

Wouldn't he have got pop-ups after the first search? Maybe that is how he got onto the worse sites.

Never heard of Naked Simpsons, he must have heard it all school or something?

RJnomore1 · 20/09/2016 14:08

No one needs to show him anything, I've just googled naked Simpsons on my phone and within three clicks I'm on a site called sexe- something which has lists upon lists of words and some photos.

But you do need to check with him op in case it's not just been coincidence he found it.

intravenouscoffee · 20/09/2016 14:11

Surprised by some of the responses. My 7 yr old definitely knows the word 'naked' and thinks anything related to nudity is funny so I would guess the OPs DS thinks the same. I don't consider it worrying.

However, he's clearly found some worrying stuff and that needs to be addressed. My emphasis with the internet has always been for the DCs to tell me if they've done anything they think they shouldn't eg: clicked on a link, typed their name into a game etc etc. They can't do anything risky because of my security settings but I want them to know that if they make a mistake on.line the most important thing is that they tell me - secrecy is what scares me.

I would talk to your DS about how it wasn't his fault he found this stuff and that you're really glad he's been honest with you. I think he needs to know he's not in trouble before he'll tell you how he feels about what he saw and them maybe you can go from there.

We all make mistakes OP. I seriously doubt he'll be scarred for life.

Buzzardbird · 20/09/2016 14:12

Actually, noticed you have posted in AIBU, you might want to get it moved.

Helmetbymidnight · 20/09/2016 14:12

I would be questioning why he is looking up the word "naked" and why the word is even in his head.

Really?!

Op, you must be very shocked. A firm conversation and some strict controls on the PC will be a start.

We all used to look up rude words in the dictionary - its quite logical that a kid nowadays would look up rude words on the computer - its not his fault where his natural curiosity ended up taking him.

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