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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think that this is not funny

35 replies

Meluzyna · 18/09/2016 08:22

It was on the news about that Italian woman who killed herself due to the notoriety she gained from her sex tape spreading online. Sure she made an error of judgment, but then it became so huge that it destroyed her life.
O/h turned to teenage son and said "I bet we could watch it online".
Shock Shock Shock
I think (hope) he was joking, but I made very clear to them both that it was precisely this attitude on the part of certain men which had driven the poor lass to kill herself, and that I really wasn't amused. WWYHD?

RIP Tiziana.

OP posts:
AyeAmarok · 18/09/2016 08:26

I'd have been really disgusted with my DP if he'd said that.

I can't imagine that wanting to watch it being someone's reaction to that story.

Does he have an issue with porn? He seems a bit desensitised to real life.

Buzzardbird · 18/09/2016 08:30

I wouldn't imagine he intended to be funny. I would imagine he just doesn't care about the poor woman and thinks that women are there for his entertainment.

BastardGoDarkly · 18/09/2016 08:33

That's grim. I'd be horrified if my DH said that.

Hassled · 18/09/2016 08:34

That's fucking appalling. Has he no empathy?

Cheerybigbottom · 18/09/2016 08:35

That's awful. Worse that he encouraged a teenager to watch an illegal video that drive a woman to suicide. No respect at all.

ProfessorPreciseaBug · 18/09/2016 08:38

LTB....

and take son to offer him a chance of growing up as someone with a bit of humanity.

PS, I would normally suggest making a relationship work, but that was OOO.

MuffyTheUmpireSlayer · 18/09/2016 08:38

That's a horrible attitude and worrying that he thinks it ok to pass it onto your DS. What was your DS' reaction?

Teenagers pick up on these things so easily and it's quite likely that your DS will grow up also thinking that women are there for entertainment (or otherwise "too sensitive" and lack a sense of humour) if that's what his father has taught him.

category12 · 18/09/2016 08:45

Ugh.

imwithspud · 18/09/2016 08:51

I too would be disgusted. You were right to correct him.

I think I read the same or similar story on Facebook and the comments that followed it were full of victim blaming tripe. It's very sad.

Mummyoflittledragon · 18/09/2016 08:59

Shock. I would have skinned him alive teaching this attitude to your Ds.

Waltermittythesequel · 18/09/2016 09:00

What a fucking scumbag.

CalleighDoodle · 18/09/2016 09:07

Yep i agree with the others. Scumbag. Even taking out the tragedy of the suicide involved, turning to your teen son and suggesting watching ANY porn video together is grim.

Adnerb95 · 18/09/2016 09:09

I'd be mortified if my DH did this. And what a dreadful example to set to DS!

Might be an isolated error of judgement (in which case, he should be forgiven in due course, if you can possibly find the grace!) OR may be, worryingly, indicative of a really shit attitude towards women in general.

In which case, this is serious.

SpookyPotato · 18/09/2016 09:11

That's the complete opposite of funny, it's vile. If my DP said that I would feel like I didn't know him.

ShowOfHands · 18/09/2016 09:15

I'd seriously question who the fuck I was married to. It's an abhorrent reaction and to give that message to a teenage ds? I'd be disgusted.

SatsukiKusakabe · 18/09/2016 09:21

How old is your son?

That's an horrific response, I'd seriously be questioning what kind of a person he was. Aside from the fact it's grim to want to look up any viral 'sex tape', in this particular case, knowing the fate of the woman... Well it's depraved, if I'm honest. And passing that attitude on to a child?

DoreenLethal · 18/09/2016 09:26

How teenage? 13 or 19?

Is this a safeguarding issue? A father introducing his son to porn online is vile enough, to do it knowing the woman killed herself because of it is absolutely unacceptable.

Seeyouontheotherside · 18/09/2016 09:38

That's a disgusting mentality and to share it with his teenage son is even worse. Poor womanSad

Original poster
Meluzyna · 18/09/2016 11:24

Our son is 19, so legally an adult.
Having been married to his father for 30 years I'm inclined to think it was a pathetic joke, but I'm relieved to see that no one else thinks it was funny either.

OP posts:
Buzzardbird · 18/09/2016 11:27

Aren't jokes intended to make someone laugh though?

acasualobserver · 18/09/2016 11:29

Agree - tasteless 'joke' but, as you've concluded yourself, probably not indicative of anything more sinister.

Lariflete · 18/09/2016 11:32

That's horrifying OP. To want to watch a sex tape that drove the woman to suicide is appalling but to want to watch it with your son??? I don't know if I could stay married to someone like that.

Batteriesallgone · 18/09/2016 11:33

Well regardless of the (total lack of) humour involved, it was an opportunity to cast you in the unfunny killjoy role. Does he do that often?

Maybe you could point out to him he may as well have said 'Fuck you, I find your discomfort and humiliation amusing'.

Buzzardbird · 18/09/2016 11:33

Did your son laugh then? Has he grown up with the same appalling attitude to women?

Lariflete · 18/09/2016 11:35

I don't really understand why someone's first thought on hearing a story like that would be to make a joke like that.
I'm not against 'porn' per se, as they are professionals being paid for a job (I don't like it / watch it as it feels a bit sleazy) but this was someone's private life that has been utterly destroyed.