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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think MIL (or DH) should have was my pot!

34 replies

mangocoveredlamb · 15/09/2016 15:05

I've been in hospital since Friday (am now fine) and am 33 weeks pregnant.
At the weekend mil came over to cook a casserole in my big Le crueset casserole dish for a lunch party she was having on Sunday. I knew this was happening and it was not a problem (although I don't know why she couldn't have cooked it at her house borrowing the dish)
I've come home from the hospital to find it sitting in my kitchen unwashed and mouldy.
I expect DH told her not to worry when she dropped it back, if she offered to wash it, but AIBU to think she should have washed it anyway??

OP posts:
Original poster
mangocoveredlamb · 15/09/2016 15:07

In his defence DH has been run ragged coming back and forward to the hospital and looking after our two year old so probably didn't have time to wash it.

OP posts:
Chocoholicmonster · 15/09/2016 15:09

So she brought it back unwashed? YNBU. Surely if you borrow something, use it, dirty it, its common courtesy to return it clean? I'd be annoyed at my MIL.

bastardneighbour · 15/09/2016 15:10

Maybe she gave him the leftovers to eat? In that case, he should have washed the pilot!

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 15/09/2016 15:10

What sort of a person doesn't wash a dish?! YANBU.

I assume all the other utensils she used for her casserole have been cleaned? Lazy buggers.

nilbyname · 15/09/2016 15:10

She dropped it back dirty? Does she hate you?

loona13 · 15/09/2016 15:12

Either she should have, or your DH, since he said not to. Mouldy food 😨

HunterHearstHelmsley · 15/09/2016 15:12

I bet she gave him leftovers. No one would bring an empty dirty dish!

phillipp · 15/09/2016 15:13

It depends. Did she cook at yours, take it to the place and then bring it straight back?

We make a curry for the Christmas party at our kids hobby. Take it in a slow cooker, serve it and they have to bring it home dirty, as there isn't anywhere with a sink big enough to wash at the club house.

Or was there definitely opportunity to wash it before she brought it back?

If then you dh has said don't worry about it, then that's in your dh. Not matter how busy he is, he offered.

BorpBorpBorp · 15/09/2016 15:15

If she had to cook the dish at your house, maybe she couldn't wash it up at her house either? Is she having her kitchen done or something?

JustSpeakSense · 15/09/2016 15:16

She must have cooked at yours, decanted it into another container and left DH to wash it up.

Or

She brought it back with leftovers for DH to eat

Or

She is a cow

Original poster
mangocoveredlamb · 15/09/2016 15:16

I haven't asked DH as he's in a meeting, but I was quite flabbergasted!
You are probably right she probably did bring it back with the left overs in.

OP posts:
KathArtic · 15/09/2016 15:16

Hoping Bastards suggestion is right..

I always, always always wash everything. If the DC's friends leave socks or a jumper etc I would wash and return it too.

JudyCoolibar · 15/09/2016 15:37

If DH told her not to bother, then it is 100% down to him. It's hardly unreasonable for her to take him at his word.

Topseyt · 15/09/2016 15:48

It wouldn't occur to me to borrow something of someone else's and not wash it up before returning it.

Did DH possibly volunteer to wash it up for her? If he did then he should have made sure he did it. Looking after a two year old is no excuse. The rest of us managed to wash the odd item (or more) whilst minding a small child.

RepentAtLeisure · 15/09/2016 15:49

Hmm... If you were in your DH's position, you know you would have washed it. I don't know why men always have to get a pass because they were being primary carer at the time. It takes 20 seconds to put hot soapy water in a pot and let it soak while you do something else.

DixieNormas · 15/09/2016 15:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oldlaundbooth · 15/09/2016 15:59

No excuses from anyone, the bloody dish should have been washed.

Cuppaand2biscuits · 15/09/2016 16:03

My friend took food to a BBQ and the following day the host returned the dishes bagged up and unwashed!

Daisygarden · 15/09/2016 16:17

Your MIL should have washed it, even if DH offered or he ate the leftovers - leftovers could/should have been plated separately - and she should have washed the dish and put it back.

emilywemily · 15/09/2016 16:21

Definitely not place marking Wink

Daisiespurple · 15/09/2016 16:23

In his defence DH has been run ragged coming back and forward to the hospital and looking after our two year old so probably didn't have time to wash it

Yes that makes it impossible to wash a dish Hmm

PinkissimoAndPearls · 15/09/2016 16:25

I really hope you've not washed that pot.

I'm sure your DH could have found the four or five minutes time to wash it up.

Namechanger2015 · 15/09/2016 16:27

If she cooked at your house she probably left it to soak once she was done.
Your DH should have done it. I don't think your MIL is at fault here, but your DH is. Even between hospital trips and your 2yo he could have washed up once toddler was in bed. Leaving it to get mouldy is disgusting.

holycrapweasel · 15/09/2016 16:33

My MIL did this. She borrowed 2 dishes for her Sunday roast. Brought them back the next day and said ' I couldn't get them clean so I brought them dirty'. I literally had no words.

BlueLeopard · 15/09/2016 16:35

Takes less than 30 seconds to squirt a bit of washing up liquid into it and steep it to get encrusted food loosened, and about another 30 seconds an hour later to wash it.

He's lazy.