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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Incubating chicken pox WIBU to send to party?

48 replies

Katastrophe13 · 10/09/2016 17:36

DS is due to go to his friend's birthday party tomorrow, but I think there is a high chance that DS is incubating chicken pox as 11 days ago he played with a boy who came down with chicken pox the next day. DH thinks we shouldn't let him go to party as, if he has caught it, could be becoming contagious around now. I think if he is not showing any signs then he should go, as you can't live your life not doing things 'in case'. Who is being unreasonable and what would you do?

OP posts:
thatsn0tmyname · 10/09/2016 17:39

Hmmmm, maybe ask the host if any pregnant mums are likely to attend. We went to a party when visably poxy as all the other children invited were immune and no-one was borthered. Best to check first.

thatsn0tmyname · 10/09/2016 17:39

Sorry, bothered.

blueskyinmarch · 10/09/2016 17:39

Of course he should go if he is showing no signs. He might not have caught it all all then he would have missed the party for nothing.

Rosae · 10/09/2016 17:39

I would contact the person holding the party. They may know if there is anyone in a high risk group coming. Immune compromised, pregnant etc. If they are certain not and are happy for you to attend then I would. X

milkjetmum · 10/09/2016 17:40

I would let him go unless showing any signs of something brewing eg fever, sore throat. I agree you can't cancel just in case

wayway13 · 10/09/2016 17:40

You think there is a "high chance" that he is incubating chickenpox and "could be becoming contagious around now"? YABU. Do the right thing and keep him home. You can't live your life in fear, no, but you have acknowledged a high probability of infection and would be selfish to spread it.

dementedpixie · 10/09/2016 17:40

The incubation period is up to 21 days so I would continue as normal until he shows signs of having it

dementedpixie · 10/09/2016 17:41

You can't isolate for 3 weeks every time they are in contact with something contagious

sleepy16 · 10/09/2016 17:44

I think I would ring ahead and ask if any one (pregnant or has low immune for any reason).
If not then I don't see why he shouldn't go to the party.
School wouldn't let a child off 3 weeks 'incase they got chicken pox'.

lucyandpoppy123 · 10/09/2016 17:46

As someone who is immunosupressed I would personally say keep at home, I would feel awful if I knew DD was likely to be contagious (given that you are most contagious before the spots appear) and other children, or worse immunocomprimised adults (e.g pregnant, immunosupressant drugs) caught it off my child. it's just a party after all.

SpeckledyBanana · 10/09/2016 17:47

If he's showing no symptoms, I'd let him go. DD has been exposed several times but still hasn't had it. If he'd had a fever I might think differently.

MakeMyWineADouble · 10/09/2016 17:49

Check with the person who's party it is seems the best course is action to me as pp have said if anyone invited is in a high risk group and your fairly sure then they deserve to know

DeathStare · 10/09/2016 17:53

What's he done for the last 11 days? If he's not been socialising then no I wouldn't risk it now. If he's been at school or nursery or out with other children then there isn't much point keeping him away from the party

PotteringAlong · 10/09/2016 17:57

Just send him. If you didn't take children out for 3 weeks everytime they might have caught chicken pox you'd never leave the house.

Daisiespurple · 10/09/2016 17:58

For those saying he shouldn't go, does that mean he shouldn't go to school either because he might pass it onto other children who have someone at high risk at home?

CoffeeCoffeeAndLotsOfIt · 10/09/2016 18:05

I'd send him. Ds was exposed to CP (close contact a few hours before friends dd came out in spots) and never caught it.

At the same time, a few years later he played with some friends one Sunday afternoon. I saw spots on him when getting him ready for bed a few hours later. None of the 4 friends caught it.

Chewbecca · 10/09/2016 18:08

Is his still going to school/nursery? With the birthday child?

CountessOfStrathearn · 10/09/2016 18:09

I'd send him. There is always someone who has chicken pox at school or church or clubs etc that the children will have been exposed to before they went off sick and you can't keep children quarantined for 3 weeks at a time each and every time.

Original poster
Katastrophe13 · 10/09/2016 18:30

He doesn't go to school with the birthday boy. They were at preschool together but starting at different schools. DS is due to start reception on Wednesday 😭If he is not poxy by then I will be sending him to school. I haven't quarantined him the past 11 days I read its day 12 in most cases that you become infectious.

OP posts:
Original poster
Katastrophe13 · 10/09/2016 18:53

Ok DH has put the massive guilters on me for risking infecting a bunch of kids who will just be starting school and potentially any pregnant women who might be there. I have texted to explain the situ and said we will not be coming. Poor DS Sad at least I don't need to go last minute shopping for present now

OP posts:
Original poster
Katastrophe13 · 10/09/2016 18:54

Thanks for your opinion everyone

OP posts:
SharonfromEON · 10/09/2016 19:01

I would of sent DC.... You can't spend there life not doing things in case they catch something.. If he had symptoms it would be different.

dementedpixie · 10/09/2016 19:14

The incubation period is anywhere from 10-21 days so he may or may not be contagious right now. I would have sent him in the absence of any symptoms

44PumpLane · 10/09/2016 19:29

I'm pregnant and even I would say to take him along but just ring ahead first. Party organiser would know if there is a chance of pregnant or other immunosuppressed people attending.

Isn't it a good thing for kids to get chicken pox young? (That could be total bollox by the way- I just always thought it was better to have it young and not as an adult)?!?

scaevola · 10/09/2016 19:36

The NHS does not require quarantine after contact with someone who you know came down with chicken pox shortly after.

But if you decide to do it anyhow, please do it properly, and keep the person at home for the full 21 days. There is no point in only doing it some of the time.