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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or does anyone else have a sister like this?

49 replies

whoopiedoo · 10/09/2016 12:04

Long story short...

I'm 40, sister is 46, sister has 3 children aged between 13 and 20 and split with husband 6 years ago. Since then her life has been full of drama which we all hear about endlessly. When I had my first baby two years ago she just happened to have some huge crisis at the time my baby was due which split my parents focus between me and her. Now my second baby is due any day and she was sent to A&E yesterday from work because she thought she was having a heart attack. It turns out she wasn't. The condition she's told my parents she was diagnosed with (it's a throat spasm thing) I was diagnosed with it about 10 years ago, it isn't serious, it goes off, it's quite a random thing, it is uncomfortable but it isn't life threatening. However she's told my parents she's on morphine and the hospital have told her to change her lifestyle and diet etc and she's made it sound really serious.

Btw my sister hasn't expressed any interest in either of my pregnancies.

AIBU or does this seem like one huge coincidence?

OP posts:
idontlikealdi · 10/09/2016 12:06

Oh my god my sister is the same. Sympathies it can be shit.

Simmi1 · 10/09/2016 12:09

not my sister but I have a friend like this

Lilaclily · 10/09/2016 12:12

I have a friend who has a sister exactly like this

She split with her husband and has 3 children
My friend is married with 2 children

Her kids never get a look in with the grandparents as the single sister is always round there with the 3 kids and of course they think she needs the help, even though my friends dh works weekends so she's alone too
There's always a drama with the kids , sickness , hobbies etc etc
The parents help out financially and my friend feels this is unfair between all the grandchildren

It's a horrible situation to be in but short of causing a massive family row friend doesn't know what to do

NeedsAsockamnesty · 10/09/2016 12:14

I have a mother like this.

My not even 3 week old baby has just spent 2 weeks in hospital with an infection that nearly killed him and she responded with "they are just being cautious, would you like to see my bruise?"

hownottofuckup · 10/09/2016 12:24

Hope your LO is OK socks Flowers

MargotFenring · 10/09/2016 12:32

I have a SIL like this. She is actually jealous of the attention PIL pay our DS (only grandchild on DHs side), and makes snarly remarks when we take DS to visit. For context, she is 31 and DS is 4. On the day he was born she created a huge row with MIL so her attention was firmly on SIL. Bonkers. I just laugh.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 10/09/2016 12:42

Yep my sister's the same. We live 200 miles from my Mum, she is 3 miles away. She completely muscles in on every single visit we make; it's like she's really jealous of me and my Mum's relationship and my Mum's relationship with my kids.

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/09/2016 12:44

Sounds like my mother. Everyone should bask in her glory??!!

TinklyLittleLaugh · 10/09/2016 12:45

Mind you I see traits of it with DD1(20) wanting to monopolise my attention from DD2(17). I feel I have to be very aware of it.

YouCanButImNot · 10/09/2016 12:51

I have a sister like this. Every time I have something that is important to me coming up she causes drama and is spoiling for a fight. It's exhausting and upsetting. Every important event is tainted with a memory of her bad behaviour.

zzzzz · 10/09/2016 12:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 10/09/2016 13:03

My sister threw a tantrum at my DS's confirmation.

And tried to make it all about her when my Dad died (I took her to one side and managed to largely pre empt it on that occasion).

DD1 kicked off at DD2's prom.

I don't know. My sister and DD1 have very similar, charming, engaging personalities and I think are both basically nice people. But boy do they both like the spotlight.

GoblinLittleOwl · 10/09/2016 13:30

My friend does, and it is still going on now they are in their seventies!

mygorgeousmilo · 10/09/2016 22:45

Sounds just like my own annoying cuntbag of a sister. You have my sympathy 💐

Throwthetowelin · 10/09/2016 22:59

Not my sister but my SIL. She is a nightmare. she has undermined every major event in my life - engagement, wedding, first baby. I just keep out of her way which does affect relationship with my nephew/ niece but is for my sanity.

What works best is not to tell her anything at all. Due date for my next baby will be kept private! As are all plans for my second wedding.

Nutfreepeanutter · 10/09/2016 23:07

This is basically my MIL but it's never for a good thing.
If your skint for a day (for stuff unnessecary crap she wants we don't need) she's bankrupt never to see a penny again.
Drives me nuts when she lays the "kids" guilty trip on my DH (15 & 18 so not actually kids anymore) as if she's no food/power/heating calling from her iPhone, playing candy crush on her iPad, watching sky and drinking.
When my mum told her she was getting married she turned it into a how she'll never find a man again no feckin wonder after just forcing FIL out the door after 26years.
It's like dealing with a toddler sometimes and I know I'll probably never moan to her when I'm pregnant cause somehow she'll have it worse no matter what's wrong or right.

AVY1 · 10/09/2016 23:07

My DFs siblings are like this but to an extreme bullying level. We have no contact now but they still cause drama and say/do very hurtful things during major events eg birth of my daughter, family weddings, anniversaries of deaths etc, or even if we've simply arranged to take my grandparents out for coffee. It's exhausting.

BikeRunSki · 10/09/2016 23:11

My sister is younger, but her dramas always put anything I do in the shade. Always have done, always will do. Even when she was a baby, she swallowed a bottle of painkillers and had to have her stomach pumped on my first day of school. Moved overseas on the day I got my degree results. 25 years later she announced her pregnancy at my wedding. Lots of that kind of thing.

Fortitudine · 10/09/2016 23:12

My SIL. Insanely jealous of her brother, prone to attention seeking tantrums when she feels she isn't the centre of attention. Her Oscar winning display of grief at FIL's funeral was particularly nauseating, given that she had very little time for him when he was actually alive...

usualmum · 10/09/2016 23:13

My sister is definitely worse than yours!! Ha ha....yep...my wedding, my brothers wedding, birth of my children, my kids birthday parties, parents passing away, illnesses, cousins passing away....alll about her.

I don't think it will ever end and just keep as far away from her as I can. Doesn't always work though.

ladymariner · 10/09/2016 23:25

I have a SIL like this, but pretty much nc with her, thank god. Utter diva, emotional car crash, attention-seeking drama queen.....enabled by dh's monstrosities of parents!!!!!

IneedAdinosaurNickname · 10/09/2016 23:27

Sounds like my step-sister. I just smile and nod!

BikeRunSki · 10/09/2016 23:27

My sister wore white to mine and both my brothers' weddings.

puglife15 · 10/09/2016 23:34

Ok but this doesn't just happen from nowhere does it?

What happened in their youth to make it so?

They seem mostly older sibs so it must be something to do with how parents handle the dynamic of a 2nd child? Maybe forcing them to share, always letting 2nd child join in, not enough 1 on 1 time, rewarding fighting for attention etc? What's the best way forward to stop the same happening with our own children?

justilou · 10/09/2016 23:38

No sisters, but a brother. Total waste of oxygen. Similar reasons.

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