or does anyone else have a sister like this?

[whoopiedoo]

Long story short...

I'm 40, sister is 46, sister has 3 children aged between 13 and 20 and split with husband 6 years ago. Since then her life has been full of drama which we all hear about endlessly. When I had my first baby two years ago she just happened to have some huge crisis at the time my baby was due which split my parents focus between me and her. Now my second baby is due any day and she was sent to A&E yesterday from work because she thought she was having a heart attack. It turns out she wasn't. The condition she's told my parents she was diagnosed with (it's a throat spasm thing) I was diagnosed with it about 10 years ago, it isn't serious, it goes off, it's quite a random thing, it is uncomfortable but it isn't life threatening. However she's told my parents she's on morphine and the hospital have told her to change her lifestyle and diet etc and she's made it sound really serious.

Btw my sister hasn't expressed any interest in either of my pregnancies.

AIBU or does this seem like one huge coincidence?

[ladymariner]

My SIL is the second child, she's always been incredibly jealous and demanding. She threw tantrums at our engagement party, our wedding, whenever we used to go and visit.....she is nearly 50 now and still it goes on, her life is just a roller coaster of self-inflicted drama and I can't be doing with it.

[AyeAmarok]

Yep, one of my sisters is like this. And an in-law.

I just don't engage any longer.

Nod and smile, nod and smile.

[Unreasonablebadger1]

My BIL and SIL are these people. Everything is about them.

They announced they were pregnant the day we got engaged

They dont reply to invites then go wild when tickets/meals are booked without them

Theyre always soooooo BUSY but never ask about anyones life

BIL acts the big martyr about his nightmare wife but hes contributed to her behaviour

BIL thinks hes the only one with a job

God that felt good

[JellyBelli]

I am currently trying to disentangle from someone like this. Luckily she is not a close friend because one more lie and I am going to Chinny Reckon her.

[Comedyusername]

MIL has these tendencies. It's exhausting so my husband and I tend to ignore it, and her other son bears the brunt.

[notagiraffe]

My dad. He always picks a fight on mother's day or my mum's birthday. Can't stand her to be the centre of attention for once. Had a massive sulk about a tiny thing on mother's day and managed to make it last three months so he could not turn up to my 50th birthday. Classy.

[ShotgunNotDoingThePans]

Ok but this doesn't just happen from nowhere does it?

What happened in their youth to make it so?

Great question, Puglife. Maybe a wise person can come along and shed some light on the subject. I know I always came down hard - possibly too hard - on ds1 if he was being arsey to dd. They're now 21 and 18 and seem to rub along fine. Likewise dd with ds2.
But I'm painfully aware of the way my sister treated me, as well as what a comlplete cow I was to my younger bro, and what an arse he was in turn to our youngest brother.
We were just left to get on with it - or it was dealt with in such a heavy-handed, unfair way as to foster more resentment.
My sister cut me off 15 years ago, and my brothers have an uneasy relationship. I think where there's minimal parental interest or input the older children see the younger ones purely as rivals, while the younger ones labour under the misapprehension that their older sibling's feelings are the same as their own - benign. it's quite a blow when you realise they've actually resented, even hated you for most of your life, but this has always been minimised within the family so you've just gone along with it.

[JessaHanna]

Haven't read all responses but my youngest sister is like this.

I'm getting married in two months - am interested in what the drama will be with her and her awfull husband. Have planned my whole day without her or my mum being present/happy.

It's shit but I've moved on after so many opportunities given to my both my youngest sister and my mum in my life.

[ShastaBeast]

I have a mother in law like that - she reacted to our pregnancy news as if something awful had happened. She almost got uninvited to the wedding too. Then FIL had a heart attack and she was more worried about herself. I went NC after her behaviour during the pregnancy but sadly she's now quite poorly and we aren't around to help her. We were considering moving closer to them so they could see the kids and have our support.

[Bogeyface]

My in laws. All of them.

They made our wedding all about them by not turning up, but making sure everyone knew that they werent going because they were not wanted, except they were.

SILs who hate me because I do not bow and scrape and agree that I am somehow lower down the pecking order than them. Hate H for marrying me, although they have forgiven him for that after I proved what I bitch I was by calling him on something he did that left him living at his mothers for several weeks. So now they hate me more! You never call them on bad behaviour, its just not done. If you do then they scream and shout and then....dont speak to you anymore. Wish I had known that in the first 2 years,, would have fallen out with them much sooner!

But its not just me, its anyone who is getting any kind of attention. They had a family friend, lovely person and loved by them all. She announced her engagement and the bitching started. When the wedding invite arrived it was sent to the whole family, they were clearly expensive invites and as they all live within 3 doors of each other I can see why she did it like that. They kicked up a MASSIVE stink because they didnt get individual invites which proved that she hated them all and thought that she was too good for them and they didnt go. The poor girl (as she was then, only 21) was confused and upset by it, years later she told H (who wasnt involved at all) that she realised that it was because she had dared to do something that they couldnt be the centre of. Incidentally, when she asked H why he hadnt gone to the wedding it was because they deliberately and spitefully didnt tell him about it until it was too late for him to RSVP. If he had gone and they hadnt then it would have shown them up as the petty minded bitches they were/are.

MIL hates, and I mean really fucking HATES that I am Mrs X. In her world there is only one Mrs X, despite the fact that tomcat FIL has had 3 Mrs X's so far! I actually use Ms with my maiden name, but dammit I will always be Mrs X around her :o

[NoncommittalToSparkleMotion]

Sympathies to all, my sister is definitely like this.

She stormed out of the bridal boutique when I got my wedding dress because she was sick of hearing all about me.

She gets drunk at all family occasions, except the ones she's hungover for.

I asked if we could schedule a family get together on X day and not Y day as I had antenatal classes, and she said "why should everyone dance to your tune because you couldn't keep your legs shut?"

She brings men to family stuff and then insists they're not dating, leaving all the older women gabbing about how she is such a man eater.

She declared herself her friend's maid of honour, when her friend said she didn't want bridesmaids.

I could go on...

[Simmi1]

My friend who is like this doesn't so much do it to put me down but her life is just one never ending drama - some self inflicted and some not.

[Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016]

Makes me glad to be an only child!!

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

My sister is six younger than me. My parents completely lost interest in me from the day she was born. (I always told myself that maybe I imagined this but I have witnessed my parents and my sister do exactly the same to my neice once my nephew was born).

Anyway, as an adult I have distanced myself and moved hundreds of miles away. As an adult I now have a decent relationship with my Mum, especially since my Dad died (as I am obviously nicer and less crazy than my sis).

However my sister absolutely cannot stand me having even a tiny bit of attention. It's like she is still that spoilt kid. I have coped by discussing it with my DH and my grown up kids. Now when she kicks off it is very predictable to all of us; almost amusing, and we don't let it bother us. She is not a horrible person; she can be funny and kind. My kids really like her. But she doesn't seem to like me.

[Shockers]

DD causes some kind of diversion before every occasion that isn't all about her.

I find it very wearing, but try my best to make sure it doesn't affect her brothers.

In her defence, she does have attachment disorder.

If DH and I weren't on the ball, the boys could really resent her behaviour though.

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

In my daughter's case, I dunno, again she is funny and kind and a very decent sort of person. But I have wondered if she is slightly on the spectrum. She seems to have very little empathy as to how her actions make other people feel. She also gets very very anxious in new or uncertain situations and starts to kick off.

As a kid, when her life was very predictable she was very laid back and well behaved. As an older teenager she was hard work. Now as a Uni student she is very very hard work; constantly stressed and chaotic and on the edge of a melt down. Afterwards she is always very sorry and contrite. It is very draining and starting to affect her relationships with us all.

We have wondered is it her hormones, is it the Pill, is it that she's banged her head or something? I dunno, I just want my lovely girl back.

[Unreasonablebadger1]

That's sad Tinkly but sounds a bit like how I was. I found growing up hard and being an adult in uni away from home etc very hard and meltdowns were common. Maybe it's hormones or depression? In my case it was both. Hope she's ok x

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

Are you better now Unreasonable? What helped for you? I hope your loved ones stuck with you.

[Unreasonablebadger1]

Don't take this the wrong way but I grew up and it'll happen for her. I learnt shit happens to everyone. Now I can still be a stresshead but I control it most of the time x

[Fairyliz]

Tinkly thats sounds exactly like my daughter! The doctor has dignosed her with depression and given her anti-depressants but I don't think it is that at all.
Like you I just want my lovely girl back and to stop walking on eggshells wondering when she is next going to kick off 😭
She is insanely jealous of her younger sister who is just an average teenager. However DD 1 is confinced that we treat DD 2 so much better even though that is definately not true. DD 1 gets more time help and money than Dd2.

[SpeckledyBanana]

DH and I were friends with a married couple like this. We are no longer friends.

[user1471453601]

My Mum was a bit like this. When I had lung cancer she "forgot" to tell her sister. I understood, to an extent. By that time mum was old and frail. The only conversation she had available to her was her own health.

In a similar way, I have a really good friend. She has had cancer twice (both in right breast). So had I, right breast and left lung. A couple of weeks ago I was diagnosed with cancer in my left breast.

Friend was self aware enough to tell me that she had felt a degree of jealousy, as I now had three diagnosis, while she had "only" two. In a strange way, I admired the fact that she was self aware enough to realise that her feelings were odd.

Folk are strange

[MinonsMovie]

My relationship with siblings is so strained and painful that I can't risk having a second child. The fear that I will repeat the mistakes of my parents and create that pain in my child(rens) life is just too great.

I go to great lengths to avoid being like my parents.

[thefairyfellersmasterstroke]

SIL is a bit like this, and seems to feel she has to trump everything we do as she can't bear DH and I being in the family spotlight for any reason.

A few days after our engagement, she got engaged too. When we announced the wedding date, she announced hers for two weeks before ours. MIL had a severe word with her but she was adamant, however she couldn't get booked anywhere and ended up being two months after (the marriage barely lasted a year).

We announced we were pregnant, she announced engagement to new bloke she had only known six weeks. We annouced due date, she booked her wedding for the week before. Baby came early though, and arrived two days before the wedding. Which we of course couldn't attend so she didn't get her big scene-stealing day after all.