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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's not hard to read the correspondence?

47 replies

MinonsMovie · 10/09/2016 10:52

It's that time that all the clubs and EC activities are starting up again. I know we are inundated with paper and emails and order forms and permission slips... Confused

But AIBU to think it's not hard to just read the notes? I get a bit tired with the bs questions other parents ask me, and I only have the answer because it was on the note. (Do they think I have secret meetings with the teachers and instructors?!)

I've just watched a traffic jam that was clearly explained on the housekeeping email for dd club this morning and could have been avoided if it was followed.

All I hear is, "I wish they would keep us more informed." I'm thinking, "I wish you would grow up and take responsibility."

(Pretty sure I'm getting a biscuit!)

OP posts:
WinterIsHereJon · 10/09/2016 10:57

If their DCs are anything like my DS, the letters seem to get lost in the black hole that exists between the classroom and home. He is forever losing letters, footballs, jumpers...once he lost one of his school shoes. At school. Explain that!

honeysucklejasmine · 10/09/2016 11:00

I am a Brownie leader and it drives me mental, the number of phone calls I get asking things that were written on letters. That I give to the girls immediately before sending them home.

Original poster
MinonsMovie · 10/09/2016 11:08

WinterIsHereJon I'm not sure if it's allowed, but I did laugh at that!

We are still at the notes put in bags/handed to parents stage and a lot is via email. I get that everyone is busy and I don't think, "oh great, that's my night with a glass of wine sorted!"

OP posts:
Original poster
MinonsMovie · 10/09/2016 11:11

Oh I forgot to finish my thought!

What I'm saying is I don't relish it but it's just part of being a parent, it's what you have to do. Sometimes it seems like there is a generation of stroppy teenagers dressed like a middle-aged men and women raising the next generation!

OP posts:
lemony7 · 10/09/2016 11:49

OP I am totally with you on this one. DD started school this week and I'm already being asked really obvious stuff from other parents. JUST READ THE FUCKING LETTERS YOURSELF!

Shurelyshomemistake · 10/09/2016 11:50

On average we get about 10 communications a week from DCs' schools. I'm not always completely on top of every one.... but I'm not sure I'm going to flagellate myself for that as I also work full time with a long commute as does DP. Yeah, could be more organised. But never mind.

Sometimes schools in their keenness to reach parents use multiple inconsistent ways of messaging parents. Sometimes stuff only on the whiteboards: usrless if you dont drop off or pick up. Other puts details in newsletter which comes at seemingly random intervals.

MirrorMirrorOnTheFloor · 10/09/2016 11:52

I do this not only for school but also ballet, Cubs etc. Even more amusing when I have a photo of the letter on my phone and someone had just said "they never told us...". I don't really mind, as long as I'm not in a hurry - I'm good at organisational stuff but not so good at other things, so it's swings and roundabouts.

arethereanyleftatall · 10/09/2016 11:54

Yanbu at all.
Same happens at our school and it drives me bonkers .
'I wasn't told about that' whinge.
Yes you fucking were, you just missed it.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 10/09/2016 12:47

'oh did you not read the letter' tinkly laugh and head tilt

gamerwidow · 10/09/2016 12:55

Yanbu i get that people are busy but too busy to read an email or letter then stick a reminder about any relevant bits on your phone or calendar. Really?
Understandable if your dc lose the letter or if it's only written on the whiteboard and you don't do pick ups. Otherwise it's just being really disorganised.

Original poster
MinonsMovie · 10/09/2016 12:59

MirrorMirrorOnTheFloor A photo of the letter is a great idea! Would shave me going to hunt it out if (when) I forget a time or something. Thank you Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
MinonsMovie · 10/09/2016 12:59

Save Blush

OP posts:
averylongtimeago · 10/09/2016 13:11

Guide leader here, we have given up on paper letters as they always vanish in the black hole between the meeting hall door and the parents ...
We use email and a secret FB group. Of course we check they all have email, and all except one parent are on FB, but still get endless questions and claims that they didn't get the letter or vital form. Yes you did, because I can see on line you did! I think it's just easier to moan and ask instead of scrolling back through your messages.
If anyone has the answer, let me know!

paulapantsdown · 10/09/2016 13:22

I work in a secondary school reception. A letter was sent home with details of all dates timings for new school year, the same details are all over the school website, and a text sent to every single parent. I am not exaggerating when I say that we had over 150 calls in the few days before term from parents asking what day/time school starts.

We also have open evening next week. Again, letter sent home, timings all over website, kids told about it in assembly, details all over local council website. About 50 calls in last two or three days asking for timings and dates.

Its almost like they find it it easier to call up and ask someone rather than check for themselves.

Quite a few kids didn't even turn up to school on the first day back as apparently the parents asked the kids and were given the wrong day! Didn't check or find out for themselves, just believed the 15 year old!

limitedperiodonly · 10/09/2016 13:50

People often word things poorly. If something doesn't come straight to the point, in a concise way, my eyes glaze over.

Minisoksmakehardwork · 10/09/2016 13:57

I'm with you op. I'm a rainbow leader and the number of 'I can't open the form' emails I get is embarrassing, when I've included instructions on how to do it on every email sent out.

But I have also been guilty of not reading things properly at times. I do try, with 4 dc across 6 activities.

Katinkka · 10/09/2016 14:33

I prefer text messages for communication.

MalcolmTuckersEyebrows · 10/09/2016 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MinonsMovie · 10/09/2016 15:39

MalcolmTuckersEyebrows that might be a solution, but it misses the point.
If parents took responsibility and encouraged their children to be responsible, there wouldn't be a problem. I imagine these parents would feel differently if it was the other way around and they sent a note or email that was ignored/information not taken onboard.

OP posts:
MalcolmTuckersEyebrows · 10/09/2016 15:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Puzzledconfusedandbewildered · 10/09/2016 15:44

Yanbu one club a dc attends the parents are divvy as described in the op however they issue paper letters, email and post the information on Facebook so there really no excuse

harderandharder2breathe · 10/09/2016 15:53

I work in a call centre and the number of people who don't read past our contact details is staggering. A significant number of calls i just go over the contents of the letter they couldn't be bothered to read. (We do offer a variety of formats eg large print, Braille, audio so not that people actually can't read it)

myfavouritecolourispurple · 10/09/2016 15:53

You have my sympathy. It's the same with websites. I am a member of a running club and we have a very comprehensive website. Despite that we get loads of emails asking us what time we meet, how fast you have to be to join etc.

Every time we've received an email which does actually ask a new question, I make sure it's covered on the website. To try to prevent loads of pointless emails.

But I might as well save myself the bother.

I would love to go back and say "read the website you lazy plonker". But I don't. I do copy and paste the relevant section for the website into my reply email though with a link to the website.

myfavouritecolourispurple · 10/09/2016 15:55

Its almost like they find it it easier to call up and ask someone rather than check for themselves

I think this is the case. Or having the reassurance of dealing with a human not a website or letter or email maybe? It does not make it any less frustrating though.

limitedperiodonly · 10/09/2016 16:01

I'm with MalcolmTuckersEyebrows. She's suggested a practical solution that might make your life easier by making it simpler for people to respond.

If you want responses, you have to make it as easy as possible for people to do that. If they don't, then they don't get to take part.

But if you expect people to conform to your ideas of responsibility then you are destined for constant disappointment.