To think it's not hard to read the correspondence?

[MinonsMovie]

It's that time that all the clubs and EC activities are starting up again. I know we are inundated with paper and emails and order forms and permission slips...

But AIBU to think it's not hard to just read the notes? I get a bit tired with the bs questions other parents ask me, and I only have the answer because it was on the note. (Do they think I have secret meetings with the teachers and instructors?!)

I've just watched a traffic jam that was clearly explained on the housekeeping email for dd club this morning and could have been avoided if it was followed.

All I hear is, "I wish they would keep us more informed." I'm thinking, "I wish you would grow up and take responsibility."

(Pretty sure I'm getting a biscuit!)

[Chikara]

YANBU - but...... Many parents are busy. They have jobs, hospital appointments, several kids, friends, elderly relatives , partners etc etc...

I used to get hundreds of letters, many of them generic so the bit that applied to me was buried amidst pages that didn't.

I've just had a letter confirming my mum's hospital appt. Six pages. One whole page about general anaesthetic and what to bring, what to do, what not to eat. (she is not having an an anaesthetic) . One whole page about hospital transport - we don't need. Information about parking at all the hospitals in the Trust Group - None of this applies to my mother.

My bank sent me a "change of Terms" letter. Again pages and pages - none of which are relevant.

Give each child a handbook and a website login page and put it all on there. (Otherwise use a noticeboard). My DD went to a private school. We got occasional e-mails and texts for emergencies. Otherwise everything was on the website and we were expected to keep up with it.

[Chikara]

PS agree about speaking to a human though.

[CrohnicallyAspie]

Yep, it's along the lines of people posting on Facebook 'does anyone know what time X takeaway opens?'

If you managed to post on Facebook you had Internet and could have googled it.

I often feel like posting 'yes, I do'!

[limitedperiodonly]

People can be very annoying

[MinonsMovie]

conform to your ideas of responsibility

I don't know whether I consider responsibility to be a subjective term in this context.

Also totally off topic but highlighted by a different thread I was reading yesterday... How do you know Malcom is a she?

[ChrissyHynde]

On my DS's football team FB page, the coach confirms who is in the team each week and then says "let me know if unavailable"....then everyone replies with "DS is available". Drives me nuts, read the instruction!

[ChrissyHynde]

On my DS's football team FB page, the coach confirms who is in the team each week and then says "let me know if unavailable"....then everyone replies with "DS is available". Drives me nuts, read the instruction!

[ChrissyHynde]

Sorry for the x 2 .

[limitedperiodonly]

I don't know whether I consider responsibility to be a subjective term in this context.

I don't understand what that means.

If someone asked me to interpret a letter for them I might help them or I might not. I might say I didn't understand it either. That might or might not be true.

To return to what I believe is the core issue: if you expect people to adhere to your standards you are doomed to be disappointed whether those standards are reasonable or not.

Next time when communicating:

Stick to one sentence per paragraph.

Put the most important things first and keep it brief.

Highlight money needed and/or dates when it is due in bold

Give payment and contact details in bold

Give a deadline in bold.

Tell people that if they do not contact you/forward the money at this address by this time they will not qualify.

If they don't do this, forget them.

[MinonsMovie]

I'm not sure why you are being so defensive about this. I will continue think it is irresponsible to ignore correspondence. I also think it's quite arrogant to set a list of standards for your correspondence and if it doesn't check the boxes forget them.

[limitedperiodonly]

I'm so sorry Minions.

I wasn't being defensive. I was trying to help you to understand why people might fail to live up to your expectations and give you strategies to help you manage your disappointment while achieving a positive outcome.

I won't trouble you with any more of my thoughts.

I am disappointed that you haven't taken my suggestions in the spirit they were intended but I will cope.

[Shurelyshomemistake]

Limited you are being entirely reasonable. No need to apologise I don't think.

I don't really care if someone asks me when x is or what procedure for y is .... no-one's perfect and a lot of the time not memorising contents of letters is due to prioritisation. Not the big stuff, but the edless sodding emails about helpers, fund-raising, parental questionnaire on this or that.... if I kept all that in my head then there'd be no bloody room for actual important stuff :D

OP why does it bother you so much that other people aren't as organised as you? Is it something you pride yourself on and get esteem from? Because others probably don't want to be disorganised, they just find it more difficult than you.

[Therealloislane]

What difference does it make if Malcolm is a he or a she?

[MinonsMovie]

Therealloislane that's my point - I would usually assume a poster can be either gender not automatically call them she.

limited I apologise too. I think I assumed you were having a go, especially as I hadn't felt disappointed, just a bit miffed at it all.
I haven't found this site very friendly at times and I've judged you harshly based on that - I appreciate your comment and explaining it to me better. And I'm sorry I did that.

[limitedperiodonly]

Minions it's really nice of you to say that. There was no need but thanks all the same. Most people on MN are all right but people in general can be very annoying and there's nothing you can do about it. Once I realised that I became much more relaxed [smile}

Malcolm I presumed you were a woman. Not that it matters.

[MinonsMovie]

I think I'll still quietly judge () the ones who make out they haven't been told and it couldn't possibly be their fault, and warm to (and relate to) the ones with the toilet roll stuck to their shoe and Cheerios in their hair saying, "I know I read that somewhere!"

And I'll definitely take the photo of a note tip with me going forward!

[MirrorMirrorOnTheFloor]

There's apparently an app which will organise your photos into categories / timelines (it was recommended on here somewhere) but I haven't found it on the App Store. Yet

[paulapantsdown]

Oh yeah - I forgot about Facebook and Twitter too. So that's all out important school info/dates are on

Letter
Text message to parents
Email to parents
Twitter
Facebook
School website

And they STILL call up to ask for the details!

Sometimes people call and say "the website says the meeting is on Tuesday at 5pm. Shall we come on Tuesday at 5 then?" I kid you not.

[arethereanyleftatall]

I wouldn't mind if people said 'I'm so bloody busy, can't remember when the meeting is, anyone help out please' but they never do; it's always 'I wasn't told about this meeting, when is it?'

[JacquesHammer]

DD's school is eminently sensible.

Beginning of term - list sent out with ALL dates from the year on. These don't change apart from weather permitting ones (e.g. sports day - tues/wednesday if wet).

All classes get a timetable to stick on the fridge which highlights which equipment on what day.

Each week we get a newsletter either via email or paper whichever you want.

Reminders sent via the text message system. e.g. "weather lovely, extra games tomorrow, please send kit"

[BaronessBomburst]

DS's school have just launched a new policy of telling the children what they need and for when in a bid to make them take more responsibility.
Except DS is 6.
And not totally fluent in the language.
I only discovered he needed gym kit, as opposed to doing PE in his underwear, when he told me that he wasn't going to be allowed to do PE anymore because he didn't have shoes, and my quizzing of other parents revealed he was also supposed to have a pencil case.
This term could be interesting......