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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy Dd another dress? Groomzilla.

32 replies

TormundGiantsbabe · 09/09/2016 20:12

Family wedding coming up in December. The bride and groom purchased a dress for Dd as she will be a flower girl. The problem is that the dress is far too big as it's a 2-3. It's the right size for her age group in December but Dd is only just outgrowing 9-12 month sizes right now so it's not looking likely that she will fit this dress even in a few months.

I mentioned that it looks big but the groom said that as they are buying the dresses, then everyone (the bridesmaids and flower girls) will put up and shut up and won't ruin "their" day by not wearing them (one of the older bridesmaids is unhappy with her dress and has caused some problems, but that's because of the shape and colour, not the size!).

Wibu to buy her a dress that fits anyway? I would try to find one that matched the style they chose as closely as possible.

OP posts:
Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 09/09/2016 20:13

Just turn up with a big huge dress and let him take the blame?

MrsBertBibby · 09/09/2016 20:14

No, send her along looking like she's wearing a sack, they deserve to have their photos "spoilt."

TheWitTank · 09/09/2016 20:15

Can it be adjusted at all? Hem up, sleeves taken in/up? Groom sounds like a rude twat though!

Soubriquet · 09/09/2016 20:16

Can't you buy the exact dress in a smaller size?

OlennasWimple · 09/09/2016 20:19

Send him a photo of her in it so he can see just how big it is on her

CalleighDoodle · 09/09/2016 20:20

Wow what a nob he is!

take a spare dress anyway!

GoldFishFingerz · 09/09/2016 20:21

Send her in the dress they bought.

MakeMyWineADouble · 09/09/2016 20:23

Let her wear the dress picked (I would make sure bride sees in the dress a few months before the wedding so she can't say she didn't know) and pack a sparethat fits. Then she's in their dress for photos but has something practical for after.

fastdaytears · 09/09/2016 20:27

If you're able to find the exact dress then presumably the groom will have no idea? Is that possible?

Ameliablue · 09/09/2016 20:28

It depends how big. Is it trailing the floor or falling off her?

EnquiringMingeWantsToKnow · 09/09/2016 20:33

He sounds a bit arsey but there's no need to get into a row over something so trivial, when both parties want the same thing - DD looking lovely and matching the others. Wait until November in case she has a random growth spurt, then send the bride a photo of her in the dress and an explanation of the alterations you plan to make, or a link to an alternative dress.

WellErrr · 09/09/2016 20:36

Send her in the dress they bought.

sandragreen · 09/09/2016 20:42

Definitely send her in the dress they have insisted on.

Trifleorbust · 09/09/2016 20:51

What do you mean, "their"? Whose day do you think it is?

GlitteryFluff · 09/09/2016 20:52

Take a pic of her in it and send it to them to show them how big it is?
Or do you not have it yet but just know it's he wrong size?

JacquettaWoodville · 09/09/2016 20:53

Why is the groom being so rude? Is he a close relative?

I'd drop him a line saying, "if you thought I was saying I didn't like the dress, I wasn't. DD is small for her age and it may be too big. Would you like to return it for the smaller size or risk it being too big or possibly get it altered? Let me know. If I don't hear from you, i will keep it and put her in it on the day"

Enidblyton1 · 09/09/2016 20:54

She shouldn't change that much between now and December, so if I was in your position I would send them a quick photo of her wearing the dress to check they are happy with it. If they are, she can wear it (even if it is too big - they paid for it - their choice if it looks silly). If they are not happy with it, they can arrange for a smaller dress to be sent to you.
Definitely do not buy a similar dress for your DD to wear.

228agreenend · 09/09/2016 20:55

Can you buy the same dress in a different size? If not she would have to wear the chosen dress. Maybe nearer the day you can turn up the hem. You can't buy another dress.

Ionacat · 09/09/2016 20:55

We had a similar problem at BiL's wedding, the dress they bought for DD as their flower girl was too short and they refused to swap it. I found the exact same dress in the correct size and they were none the wiser!

MrsJayy · 09/09/2016 20:57

Pfft i would send her in the dress maybe tie a bit of string round it to keepit from trailing.what an arsehole

JacquettaWoodville · 09/09/2016 20:57

Yy to not buying a different dress. Feel free to take something to change into after pictures though.

RubbleBubble00 · 09/09/2016 21:00

Take it back and get smAller size r get it altered. You would be unreasonable to buy a completely different dress

JacquettaWoodville · 09/09/2016 21:01

Rubble, OP probably doesn't have the receipt to return it! Alterations may well be more than a new dress

DinosaursRoar · 09/09/2016 21:01

I assume the groom is your relation, perhaps he's just trying to avoid more upset if there's been with the other bridesmaid, but hasn't actually thought that you aren't being difficult, this really is an issue that's easy to fix.

If you are going to see the couple soon, just say to the bride that you are worried it'll be a bit too big on DD and would it be possible to exchange it for an 18-24 months size? Say you are happy to go to the shop to do it (if they are just struggling with all that has to be done and don't want more hassle). Otherwise, as others have said, just put her in it and take something else for her to change into later on that's more practical (or on the morning when the bride sees it's rediculously big)

cexuwaleozbu · 09/09/2016 21:12

The arsiness probably isn't intentional it's just that your issue comes about 114 of his list of things to care about.

If it's a shop-bought thing and you can identify the shop (or a shop near you that stocks the brand) from the label then they will almost certainly swap the dress for the correct size with no receipt.

If that isn't possible e.g. it was custom made or from a tiny boutique - then buy a long length of wide satin ribbon - you can use this as an additional sash to tuck away enough of the spare fabric so the dress doesn't actually fall off her, and if she doesn't look perfect then that's not your fault and probably the bride and groom won't even notice - flower girl isn't supposed to be star of the show.