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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think dh is a self obsessed and selfish arsehole

38 replies

Justalittlelemondrizzle · 09/09/2016 18:28

I work part time 3 days a week. I am the dcs "default parent" so I fit my life and work around them. I work two weekdays (school hours) and every Sunday. I deal with all school runs, holidays, school events, after school activities and then cook everyone's tea before he gets home.

The dc's have a party to go to tomorrow and I've asked dh to drop them off so I can have a lie in as I'll be working on Sunday which is when he can have his lie in. I'll then pick them up while he's watching the football. We've both been up early every day in the week for school runs and work etc.
I think he is being really selfish. He expects me to take them and stay there at the party so he doesn't have to do anything, so he can lie in Saturday and Sunday!
What a dick!

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 09/09/2016 18:30

Yes, he is a dick. Just say no and if he won't, they don't go. "Ask your dad to take you" is the way forward here.

gamerchick · 09/09/2016 18:31

Are you going to?

MissElizaBennettsBookmark · 09/09/2016 18:32

YANBU

Tell him he is taking them.

Original poster
Justalittlelemondrizzle · 09/09/2016 18:32

Definately not Chick!

OP posts:
Original poster
Justalittlelemondrizzle · 09/09/2016 18:35

I'm going to show him the thread in a bit to show him he's being a selfish dick. So ill just add, to make everyone completely aware. He does get up a whole hour before me on weekdays. This is his excuse for his "why should I" attitude!

OP posts:
Evilstepmum01 · 09/09/2016 18:38

Wow. OP's DH-you're a dick. A selfish one. Let her have one lie-in.

Im off tomorrow (i work 6 day weeks) and DH has been told I'm having a lie in. Sundays a joint lie-in, tomorrow its mine.

ayeokthen · 09/09/2016 18:40

DP gets up at 5am most mornings for work (I get up with him but that's my choice), he does 12-16 hour shifts, and still comes home, we bath the kids, do bedtime together and he helps wash up. Even on days of he's still up to do the school/nursery run so we don't have to walk (I don't drive he does) and rarely ever gets a lie in. Never once has he moaned about being a dad and all it entails, so yes your DH is being a dick.

ijustwannadance · 09/09/2016 18:40

Why should he? Because they are his DC's too!.

Original poster
Justalittlelemondrizzle · 09/09/2016 18:42

He does do stuff around the house to be fair. But he makes sure I and everyone else knows about it.

OP posts:
bombayflambe · 09/09/2016 18:42

How early is this party that you can't both have a lie in tomorrow?

Original poster
Justalittlelemondrizzle · 09/09/2016 18:46

It's not mega early. It's at 10.30 but we'd obviously have to be up much earlier to get them ready and drive them there as it isn't close by.

OP posts:
CocktailQueen · 09/09/2016 18:50

If you're working on Sunday, how can he have a lie in then? Surely he's in charge of the dc?

Thattimeofyearagain · 09/09/2016 18:53

Yes, he is selfish. What's this default parent shit ?

Original poster
Justalittlelemondrizzle · 09/09/2016 18:54

Dc's are older and usually have a lie in themselves on weekends and the times they don't sleep in they entertain themselves downstairs for a bit. Dc's and dh are all still in bed when I leave for work on Sundays at 9.30.

OP posts:
Lovestonap · 09/09/2016 18:55

Dear OH's dh. You are not a hero. My dh works full time, gets the kids breakfast before he leaves in the morning, puts them to bed at night, takes ds to football training Saturday morning and both of them swimming Sunday morning. He also helps with the housework and cooks for me most evenings. Take the kids to the party....

diddl · 09/09/2016 18:55

Doesn't he want to take them & have some time with them?

PGPsabitch · 09/09/2016 18:59

Selfish. Sounds like he thinks house and kids are your domain only if he let's everyone know when he pulls a fraction of his weight.

He needs to step up and sort himself out

PovertyPain · 09/09/2016 19:01

And if he agrees to do it, how likely is it that he will accidentally on purpose wake you or let the kids in to wake you? He sounds incredibly selfish.

Original poster
Justalittlelemondrizzle · 09/09/2016 19:01

He has a major problem with the fact that "I'm lazy and need to work more" he is constantly telling me how many hours he's worked that day and berates me for working only 5 hours that day. I worked 5 hours because I need to be there for the dc's.

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 09/09/2016 19:04

Then tell him to cut his hours and he can do the childcare.

PovertyPain · 09/09/2016 19:05

Tell him you agree, so you're going to work full time, so he has to do 50 % of ALL housework, laundry, cooking, shopping, etc. also ask him how he's going to arrange a change of work hours, in order to fit in the school runs.

Whisky2014 · 09/09/2016 19:08

He's a selfish dick. Time to start parenting boyo!

RaspberryOverload · 09/09/2016 19:10

Justalittlelemondrizzle Fri 09-Sep-16 18:42:00

He does do stuff around the house to be fair. But he makes sure I and everyone else knows about it.

Oh, whoopie-fucking-do, yet another bloke who thinks he's "helping".

No, it's not helping, it's pulling your weight and being a decent adult.

He needs ti understand that as a parent, he has to do a fair share. And not expect a fucking medal.

RaspberryOverload · 09/09/2016 19:13

You're not "only working 5 hours".

You're doing housework, sorting DCs and all the other unpaid stuff that blokes like him think happens by magic.

He'd need to be earning 6 figures to be able to pay people to do what you do.

Original poster
Justalittlelemondrizzle · 09/09/2016 19:26

Exactly Raspberry. He has a massive complex about our respective working hours. Although he'd never admit it. He's the big man!

OP posts: