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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think more notice would have been nice!

39 replies

WinterIsHereJon · 28/08/2016 11:01

8am this morning we had a knock at the door. It was our rear neighbour (i.e. their garden backs onto ours) to tell us that they are replacing the fence so please could we keep our dog indoors. Before I can even nip to let her out for a wee (in pjs!) her DH has already started taking the fence panels out. This in itself wouldn't be a huge issue, but for the fact that we are hosting a family party this afternoon and it would have been nice to have use of my garden Angry
AIBU to think 5 minutes is not really a polite amount of notice? The noise from his tools is loud, he has the radio blaring and I've no idea how I will manage with all the neices and nephews cooped up indoors later! Rant over!

OP posts:
mummymeister · 28/08/2016 11:03

don't do it. don't coop them up indoors. its your garden so let them out there. its a sunday and if he must do diy then ask him to turn the radio off.

agree they should have given more notice. but you mustn't let their ignorance spoil your plans.

Sandalwearingdoglady · 28/08/2016 11:06

I wouldn't keep them in either. Why should you?

Bagina · 28/08/2016 11:09

I agree, continue as you were. You need wind breakers or such like!

gamerchick · 28/08/2016 11:10

Use your garden all you want, don't let them stop you.

ScarletOverkill · 28/08/2016 11:12

How old are the DN'S? Will they stay away from that end of the garden if asked?

Original poster
WinterIsHereJon · 28/08/2016 11:15

Toddlers among the DNs, also the trampoline and climbing frame see where he will be working. And we can't have the patio doors open as the dog would be in and out and I appreciate that's a distraction for the neighbour.

OP posts:
SanityClause · 28/08/2016 11:15

How much notice did you give them of the family party?

Yes it's a PITA that they are changing the fence today, but how were they to know it would be inconvenient?

Original poster
WinterIsHereJon · 28/08/2016 11:17

They didn't know, but if they'd have mentioned it earlier in the week it would have given us the chance to rearrange the party if we chose. Even without the party I think more than 5 minutes of part of your garden being out of use would be nice

OP posts:
Bagina · 28/08/2016 11:17

sanity I guess she doesn't need to access their garden for her party.

CoffeeCoffeeAndLotsOfIt · 28/08/2016 11:18

Do people normally give notice of an afternoon family party?? Fair enough if it went on into the night - but not the afternoon.

The neighbour should have given you notice about the fence

Coconutty · 28/08/2016 11:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyKidsHaveTakenMySanity · 28/08/2016 11:24

I'm confused as to why you would need to inform neighbours that you would be using your garden? Sanity, do you let all yours know if you'll be using yours? Seems awfully time consuming and quite frankly, as a neighbour would annoy the shit out of me.

However, someone doing something that affects YOUR garden of course needs prior notice! Let your neighbour know they have until a certain time to complete the works as you have already booked usage of YOUR OWN garden for that day.

Birdsgottafly · 28/08/2016 11:25

Don't stay in, just put the dog on a lead.

The neighbour will have to work around you, he should give at least a couple of days notice to access your garden and then it's only with your permission.

As much as fitting the fence is weather dependant, they're being unreasonable.

How big is the fence? He should be working as quickly as possible on the part that is the most inconvenient to you.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 28/08/2016 11:25

I would try rigging some string between a couple of garden canes to mark off the end of the garden, move the fun equipment a bit and get on with it.

Trifleorbust · 28/08/2016 11:28

Er, no. If they take down their fence panels and don't secure their garden, that is their issue. Just tell them the dog will be let out as usual. More notic would definitely have helped.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 28/08/2016 11:31

We gave our neighbour several weeks notice when we decided to replace our fence. I didn't know if they had any plants close to or growing up the old one so I thought it was fair to make sure they had the time to remove anything potentially damageable out of the way.

Flowerpower41 · 28/08/2016 11:35

Many neighbours don't seem to think these days.

My neighbour had his bathroom replaced there was banging and noise for weeks and they didn't even bother to tell us. Also banging on a Saturday evening etc. I think the job went wrong and they had to enlist additional help.

The other side though the neighbours always keep us informed. People are different aren't they guess they just didn't think?! How annoying to spoil your party like that.

rosesarered9 · 28/08/2016 11:46

Ask the kids to "play" with your neighbour's DH. Grin

Sgtmajormummy · 28/08/2016 11:53

Well, it's a Bank Holiday weekend and a bit of a free-for-all. You definitely shouldn't have to curtail your party.

Once they've done the dismantling and dug the holes for the new fenceposts they shouldn't need to encroach on your garden any more and your dog can have the garden back!

I'd just block off the works area with a line of chairs and the drinks table in front. Keep things friendly and remember "good fences make for good neighbours"! Grin

SanityClause · 28/08/2016 11:55

They don't need access to her garden to do the fence. He's just making a lot of noise, which makes it not very pleasant to be in the garden.

Our neighbours often have noisy parties well into the night. They give us no notice.

It is a PITA, but the OP can't really moan about it, when she has given them no notice about her party. (A family party with toddlers can be very noisy, and if the neighbours, for example, were hosting before and after a funeral, then that might have made things difficult for them.)

Trifleorbust · 28/08/2016 12:02

My neighbours did need to access our garden to do the fence panels.

Original poster
WinterIsHereJon · 28/08/2016 12:04

SanityClause actually he is in my garden - his tools are laid out on both sides of what would be the boundary. Are you suggesting that I should drop by all the neighbours any time we have a gathering of any kind, BBQ etc? I've never heard of this being etiquette; most of our family live around an hour away and have youngish DCs so we tend to be all done and dusted by 6/7 so it wouldn't have occurred to me to inform the neighbours I will be using my garden. Perhaps I'm just rude Confused

OP posts:
Sgtmajormummy · 28/08/2016 12:20

Chairs facing your house obviously. I'm not suggesting watching other people work as extra entertainment!!

DoreenLethal · 28/08/2016 12:21

How much notice did you give them of the family party?

Why would anyone give their neighbours notice of having a party in their own garden?

OP - go tell them that they need to put the panel back, as your guests are arriving at x o'clock and will be proceeding with the planned party and they are going to have to come back another day to do the fence.

sonjadog · 28/08/2016 12:22

Have you told them you are having a bbq? What did they say?