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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this is exactly what I would have done!

30 replies

TheNextSupreme · 22/08/2016 00:21

Heard that an old friend of mine had her flat broken into late at night a few weeks ago. She is a single mum to her ds 4 and obviously was very scared when she heard somebody creeping about her home. She could hear them in the living room, so after calling 999, managed to sneak up behind him and knock him to the ground (she used to work on the doors so she is used to taking on people bigger than her) and held him down with her weight until the police arrived. The burglar turned out to be a boy of 15, who is now claiming that he was assaulted by my friend, saying he has various injuries etc. and my friend is so worried she is going to be charged. I'm so angry that anybody would even listen to this boy, as far as I can see he broke into HER home where HER son was sleeping, so hell mend him if he got hurt! He could have been even more unlucky and been stabbed had he broke into somebody else's home. Fair game in my opinion.

OP posts:

NewNameNotTheSame · 22/08/2016 00:24

Fair game indeed. He crossed her threshold, how was she to know he was 15 an unarmed from behind. Good on her I say!

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger · 22/08/2016 00:26

Completely agree, she was protecting herself, child and property. This should hopefully alleviate her concerns.

WorraLiberty · 22/08/2016 00:27

I can understand her reaction but it was very irresponsible.

She sneaked downstairs, his two accomplices overpowered her and held her down/beat her up/sexually assaulted her...while he went upstairs and ransacked her screaming 4 year old's room in front of him.

That ^^ is easily how it could have gone.

She should have stayed with her son to protect him and waited for the Police to arrive and do their job.

Whether or not the boy can sue for assault will depend on whether the police/courts feel an 'appropriate level of force' was used.

It's a murky area but ultimately, I'm glad she and her son were ok

suitsyousir79 · 22/08/2016 00:27

Sounds completely reasonable to me. I also work on the doors and would take on someone in my house if i found them, with a weapon if need be BUT reasonable force still applies. Its a fine line and ultimately for a jury to decide, but in my opinion if you break into someones house you take a chance with repercussions.

Shizzlestix · 22/08/2016 00:27

Unfortunately, snotty little burgling chavs have 'rights'. Ideally, she should have made a load of noise, including shouting that she was going to call the police etc to frighten him off. It's so bloody unfair, but she may well be charged. I know it's an extreme case, but remember the farmer who shot the burglar-he was jailed. Should have got a prize, but never mind.

Hope your friend is ok and is not charged.

GeneralBobbit · 22/08/2016 00:28

She won't be charged for the injuries, they're reasonable.

She may be charged for detaining him. But it's still unlikely.

GeneralBobbit · 22/08/2016 00:29

The farmer shot the burglar in the back while he was running away. It's not the same thing at all. He wasn't under threat.

kormachameleon · 22/08/2016 00:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 22/08/2016 00:33

I know it's easy to say what we would or wouldn't do if we've been lucky enough not to have been in that situation.

But I honestly don't think I could have left my child alone upstairs.

I mean for what? The police were on their way anyway. Surely nothing in that house was more important than protecting a 4 year old?

She didn't know it was just one 15 year old boy down there.

Hidingtonothing · 22/08/2016 00:35

The law is a little unclear in these circumstances but I think the general premise is that it's legal to use 'reasonable force' to defend yourself and your home and/or apprehend the intruder. Did your friend use a weapon to hit him and if so was it a household item or an actual weapon? These seem to be the things which make a difference, what the law might deem 'unreasonable force' or the use of weapons you shouldn't really have around the house. If all she did was tackle him with her body weight and hold him til the police arrived I wouldn't think she could be prosecuted for that but there is the fact that it will be her word against his which might cause problems for her if he lies about what she did. FWIW I think she was very brave and did totally the right thing but the police/CPS might take a different view. Has she spoken to a solicitor and what have the police actually said about the burglars' claims and what they intend to do about them?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 22/08/2016 00:39

Natural response she was protecting baby. Herself and Her home. It's an animal instict. If I disturbed a bees nest. I'd expect to be stung.
for Your friend.
That's morally though. I don't know what will happen legally, and I wouldn't want to give false hope, because you see scumbags burglars apparently have rights.
It would be easier if we just got them keys cut. !!!!!!!!

Queenbean · 22/08/2016 00:42

How did a 15 year old boy break in to a flat?

Burglaries normally happen by opportunity. Unless it was a ground floor flat and she left a window open?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 22/08/2016 00:44

So what if she left her window open. That doesn't give a disgusting specimen the right to invade her home.

WorraLiberty · 22/08/2016 00:44

She doesn't have a baby.

She has a 4 year old child who could have followed her downstairs at any time.

Mind you, she probably knows all this now and has spent countless hours thinking about all the 'what ifs'.

She was put in an awful position and thankfully she and her child came out of it ok.

I hope the police/courts will tell the 15 year old to jog on.

Original poster

TheNextSupreme · 22/08/2016 00:46

It's a ground floor flat she stays in I'm sure, no stairs. Like I said, it's an old friend from when I stayed with my parents and they were telling me about it today, they still talk to her parents. So I haven't actually spoken to her. I can believe she would easily overpower a man smaller than her, she's a strong woman!

OP posts:

Queenbean · 22/08/2016 00:47

OBVIOUSLY it isn't right that you leave a window open and someone burgles you! What planet are you on?!

But it is pretty stupid to leave a ground floor window open, if that's what happened here.

Otherwise he's Spider-Man

WorraLiberty · 22/08/2016 00:48

He was a 15 year old boy, not a man

But ultimately, he could have been a man or one of many men.

She obviously acted on an instinct and thankfully didn't make the situation worse.

Queenbean · 22/08/2016 00:50

Ok sorry Worra, otherwise, he's Spider-Boy

VioletBam · 22/08/2016 00:50

I think it was a bloody stupid thing to do. He may have been far more thick skulled than she thought, her whack might have done nothing and he could have killed her.

If I heard someone downstairs I would be silent till the police arrived.

WorraLiberty · 22/08/2016 00:52

Queen

I was replying to the OP saying I can believe she would easily overpower a man smaller than her, she's a strong woman!

EttaJ · 22/08/2016 00:54

Regardless of age ,he'd have been begging me to call the police. If you're in someone elses house then expect the worst. In the US you do it and you are likely to be shot. It's utterly ridiculous that the victim should suffer or be accused because some nasty little scrote broke into her home. He'll get away with this and he will do it again, next time he might assault the homeowner or worse. I hope your friend is ok.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 22/08/2016 00:54

Queen I have no intentions of turning this into a bun fight. . However with the greatest respect. You were the one who initially went on about open windows.

Queenbean · 22/08/2016 00:56

Yep, and I think leaving ground floor windows open at night is a stupid thing to do

Queenbean · 22/08/2016 00:56

Worra

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 22/08/2016 01:03

But it doesn't carry the burgaling penalty does it. I'm sure and I hope we agree on that.

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