Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Babysitter presuming she can bring boyfriend?

49 replies

DipsyLaLa22 · 18/08/2016 16:48

Longtime lurker, first post....

So I've organised a babysitter for this Saturday evening for a surprise evening out for my husband's birthday. Our kids are 6,3,3. Our own nanny couldn't babysit so I asked one of her nanny friends who I have met a few times, and who my kids know as they often meet up at the park etc.

So babysitting nanny has just sent me a breezey text to let me know that she's bringing her boyfriend with her. As far as I am aware, she still lives at home with her parents, and I am not happy about her using my house for alone time with her boyfriend who I have never met. It seems a bit unprofessional to me, she's a qualified nanny not a £5 an hour teenager.

I can't ask my husband's opinion as he doesn't know about our night out yet.

So AIBU to tell her no?

OP posts:
lionheart70 · 18/08/2016 16:50

Of course yanbu. I would never allow a babysitter to bring anyone else round and she should know better.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 18/08/2016 16:52

If you don't want a stranger in your house then tell her exactly that.

If she gets snotty so be it and find someone else quick.

Dadstheworld · 18/08/2016 16:52

YANBU

As a qualified nanny I presume she has to be DBS checked? No such check on her boyfriend.

KoalaDownUnder · 18/08/2016 16:52

Huh??

Yeah, no. Not okay. What is she thinking?!

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 18/08/2016 16:54

Wouldn't bother me at all, but I appreciate it may be in the minority

FlyingElbows · 18/08/2016 16:54

Yanbu at all. Call her and tell her that that's not acceptable to you.

MindSweeper · 18/08/2016 16:55

'Hi, I'm not comfortable with that, I arranged for you to babysit not for you to bring along your boyfriend too. If you're not okay with that just let me know and I'll find someone else. Thanks'

Amelie10 · 18/08/2016 16:57

Yanbu at all!! Wth is she thinking. Actually cheeky of her to casually slip that in, rather than actually asking. No ways would I be ok with this.

littlenicky61 · 18/08/2016 16:57

I wouldnt be happy with an unknown boyfriend coming into my home and I am suprised as a professional she even asked and considered it may be possible. She is after all getting paid to watch your children not socialize with her boyfriend. It would make me feel bit uneasy tbh and I would prob ask someone else .

ArmySal · 18/08/2016 16:59

Umm, No.

Original poster
DipsyLaLa22 · 18/08/2016 17:00

Thanks everyone. I was a little Hmm at her telling rather than asking.

OP posts:
ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 18/08/2016 17:00

I'm a cheapy part time babysitter and it'd never occur to be to bring a friend or partner! Book, yes; ipad, yes; people, no!

YelloDraw · 18/08/2016 17:02

Yeah just say "sorry, would prefer it if you didn't bring your boyfriend. Please let me know if you can still babysit or if I need to find someone else. Thanks"

FurkinA · 18/08/2016 17:03

Is probably ditch her based on that tbh.

LikeIGiveAFrock · 18/08/2016 17:05

To be honest it probably wouldn't bother me

weeblueberry · 18/08/2016 17:05

I'd assume even if you tell her not to bring him he'll turn up once you're gone.

But then I'm a cynical bitch.

Disappearingchocolates · 18/08/2016 17:07

I think I'd find someone else. It'd make me feel uncomfortable that she's just assumed it was okay to have someone I didn't know around my kids and in my home when I wasn't around. What else will she assume is okay.

Original poster
DipsyLaLa22 · 18/08/2016 17:08

So she has decided not to babysit after all as she assumed she could bring her boyfriend. Great.

Anyone fancy babysitting for me? Wink

OP posts:
SarcasmMode · 18/08/2016 17:11

Like little it would worry me about her professionalability (not a word I know!) in considering doing this. It would be different IMO if the children had already met him and liked him when you were there, but that isn't the case here.

Why would she think it was appropriate?

I'm surprised other parents haven't said no to this request really.

How old is she? 18?

Surely she can spend time with the boyfriend in her own time? If not, that's hardly your problem.

It's rude to tell instead of ask, too.

I'd personally get someone else who behaved a lot more professionally and I'm not someone who is bothered by most things (help yourself to my food, bring a treat for the kids, bring some dvd's to watch etc) but the man hasn't been CRB checked and the kids don't know him, either.

But if you can't just text her saying you'd rather she didn't bring him. Something like,

Thank you x I will see you at x.xxpm. As the children don't know Y I request you don't bring him with you. I'll leave all contact details on the fridge. Thanks for helping out, Dispy

SarcasmMode · 18/08/2016 17:13

Oops cross posted.

How bloody rude!

That would really piss me off.

When is it and what part of UK you in? Any professional babysitters on the sitters website?

SleepFreeZone · 18/08/2016 17:14

Bloody hell how unprofessional of her!!!

Vickyyyy · 18/08/2016 17:15

Not ok...who brings their partner along for their work shifts?! lol

I could 'forgive' it if this was a teen being paid a few quid to do it as a favour for you, but definitely not as someone who does it for an actual living.

expatinscotland · 18/08/2016 17:17

Wow! VERY unprofessional and no, YANBU. I wouldn't want some random in my house.

MardyKnickers · 18/08/2016 17:18

I'd babysit on Sat

No friends or life me!!!

Awwwwwwwwww Sad

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 18/08/2016 17:21

YDNBU. She's paid to mind your children not to shag on the settee with her bf, after all she's not bringing him to play scrabble is she.
Not only that, but you don't know him. Of course you don't want some randomer in your home with your children

Swipe left for the next trending thread