Babysitter presuming she can bring boyfriend?

[DipsyLaLa22]

Longtime lurker, first post....

So I've organised a babysitter for this Saturday evening for a surprise evening out for my husband's birthday. Our kids are 6,3,3. Our own nanny couldn't babysit so I asked one of her nanny friends who I have met a few times, and who my kids know as they often meet up at the park etc.

So babysitting nanny has just sent me a breezey text to let me know that she's bringing her boyfriend with her. As far as I am aware, she still lives at home with her parents, and I am not happy about her using my house for alone time with her boyfriend who I have never met. It seems a bit unprofessional to me, she's a qualified nanny not a £5 an hour teenager.

I can't ask my husband's opinion as he doesn't know about our night out yet.

So AIBU to tell her no?

[YorkieDorkie]

I think that says an awful lot about her professionalism. How are you getting on finding another?

[weeblueberry]

That's crap. Did you get her from childcare.co.uk or similar?

[Ididthattoo]

Where are you based? I know a couple of good babysitters (London).

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

I had a feeling she'd drop you in it when you said he couldn't come.

Well, she's marked her card hasn't she.

There must be someone?

[Ninasimoneinthemorning]

I wouldn't be comfortable with that. What are you going to do?

[weeblueberry]

Sorry just reread your OP and saw she was a recommendation. I'd be casually mentioning it in passing to your nanny tbh...

[onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad]

Wouldn't have bothered me. I had babysitters when the children were younger and a couple of them occasionally brought boyfriends especially if it was a Saturday night. But then babysitters were hard to come by so I wasn't going to make a fuss, as long as the kids were looked after ok.

[IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece]

If you're in London OP then I'm an Ofsted registered nanny who can babysit...and just to really sell it to you, I'm single

[blitheringbuzzards1234]

I wouldn't be happy with that and I hope you get sorted. Without sounding too crude, how do you know they weren't intending to have sex on your soda? And if the children walked in on them? There'd be some explaining to do. Hope you find a trustworthy substitute.

[DipsyLaLa22]

Thanks everyone. There are a few other people I can ask so hopefully someone can do it. I'm not in London. The worst thing that can happen is that we end up with a takeaway and a bottle of wine and a movie

[Willow2016]

I would be telling your regular nanny that her friend is far from professional in her business.

If it was someone I knew and I knew the boy too I would be ok with it but some random stranger no chance.

At least you know for the future not to ask her again.

Hope you get someone and have a lovely time with dh.

[JackandDiane]

if you had known her, her parents and or him for a while then yes

otherwise NO WAY

WHere are you OP?

[MrsCampbellBlack]

Try //www.sitters.co.uk

[MrsMook]

I let my teenager babysitter bring her boyfriend. It's a nice quiet couple of hours for them once the kids are sorted and in bed. (Her mum is my friend, and she's fine about it). He's known to us and has been on the scene for a while. The children like him too. However, a professional? No.

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

Does she have a job aside from being self employed. I mean surely she doesn't say to her boss. I'm not coming into work unless I can bring my bf, does she.

[willconcern]

This wouldn't bother me at all.

How old is the sitter? If she's your nanny's (not au pair, or usual teenaged sitter's) friend, she must be 18+? I think it's rather patronising to say she's doing it to get 'alone time' with him. Sounds to me more like your nanny has asked her to do a favour and sit for you, albeit you'll pay her.

Why do so many of you assume they'll shag on the sofa? I used to babysit with my boyfriend sometimes. We never shagged on someone's sofa. We watched TV/a movie after the kids were in bed.

[rainbowstardrops]

I wouldn't mind if it was perhaps your nanny babysitting and you knew her boyfriend but I wouldn't be happy about some random! The babysitter should know about safeguarding if she's a nanny.

My then boyfriend often stayed with me when I was nannying and babysitting for them too but they knew him well. Big difference imo.

[BackToLondon]

Don't do it. If your nanny would ask and you kind of know her for a long time and possibly have met her boyfriend, then maybe yes. I remember my parents allowing my nanny to bring her boyfriend at the weekend when she babysat. The first time everything was fine, the second time they invited all their friends into our home and they stole everything that they could easily take home. While most of the stuff was returned, my mother still misses some of her jewellery. Needless to say, she was dismissed.

[willconcern]

Sorry just checked you asked her direct.

I still wouldn't mind. Although if I was her I'd have asked not told!

[TragicallyUnbeyachted]

We use sitters.co.uk and have always been very happy (used to use informal network of childcare people who also did babysitting on the side, but got let down at short notice a few times). We've even managed to get a sitter at less than 24 hours notice a couple of times.

[ImperialBlether]

I'd love to know what other job she thinks she can do and bring her boyfriend along.

[DipsyLaLa22]

Thanks everyone, I've found someone through a friend

However, just had a text from the woman who employs the nanny. She offered to babysit as she heard about me being let down. She's an acquaintance but I've no idea how she found out, can only assume her nanny told her? I have only spoken to one friend about it and I didn't tell her who let me down. Very odd? Why would you tell your employer that you had let someone down?

Anyway, a happy ending and thanks.

[JackandDiane]

she told her you were being an old cow i bet

[fastdaytears]

I am still embarrassed about having a boyfriend round when I was babysitting aged 16. The parents were nice about it but really what was I thinking?

Might be time to get over it now though.