Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

House Swap Etiquette

40 replies

goodygoodymummy · 17/08/2016 20:47

Ok, I will try to keep it brief. We have swapped houses with a family in a different country for a holiday. The family asked if I minded if they arranged for their cleaner to clean their house after we left, if I could arrange the same for our house. I said yes, but was informed earlier in the week by the cleaner that I had in mind that she couldn't actually clean our house before we get home as planned. I emailed the family in our house and said, really sorry but this has happened, would you mind awfully reverting to original plan and we both clean each other's houses before we leave. I assumed that this would be fine!

I left our house immaculate and cleaned for a week to make sure it was to hotel standard with crisp white bedtime and white fluffy towels etc. We left chocolates and wine for them. Our house is also in a really nice area of London and quite large.

Their house is half the size, tatty around the edges etc etc. They said no. They want to tidy around but each to clean our own houses (they have their cleaner arranged to clean theirs and it is half the size of ours!) I am livid and it has completely ruined the holiday. They definitely got a far better deal on the swap than us and I just feel cross that they couldn't at least clean before they leave. I emailed back asking them to at least clean the bathrooms/showers as I don't want to get home to deal with their dirt. Am I being unreasonable or are they? I guess this is the problem with swapping your house..... :-(

OP posts:
YelloDraw · 17/08/2016 20:50

The size of house is irrelevant - you knew that before you did the swap.

They are being a bit ungracious but you both did agree to the cleaner process and it is you changing the arrangement.

GetItDown · 17/08/2016 20:53

It's annoying but you're the one changing the agreement, their's no need to clean their house, just keep it tidy and they'll do the same with yours

NickNacks · 17/08/2016 20:57

Yabu and i think this is a reverse!

Littlefluffyclouds81 · 17/08/2016 21:01

Just out of curiosity, how does house swapping actually work? If you don't know the people it's a bit of a gamble that they aren't going to trash your house or nick your stuff or something?

Rawhh · 17/08/2016 21:02

YABU You have changed the plans. Im assuming the arranging is a holiday type agreement why would you all want to be cleaning. Just sort it all out when you get back and put it down to experience.

Bubbinsmakesthree · 17/08/2016 21:04

I think they are more entitled to feel you are ruining their holiday! I wouldn't be impressed if I'd gone away with the expectation that I wouldn't need to clean before departure, then told during my trip no, actually I need to clean an entire house from top to bottom.

It's your problem, not there's, you find a solution! There are plenty of cleaning companies in London who will do a one-off job if the thought of cleaning a shower that someone else has showered in is too dreadful for you to contemplate.

whatwhatinthewhatnow · 17/08/2016 21:16

It's not their fault that your cleaner fell through. Also, you don't spotlessly clean a hotel room/villa before you leave it. Tidy yes, scrub the toilets... no way!

LyndaNotLinda · 17/08/2016 21:23

Why is it their fault that your cleaner can't clean before you're home? Confused

And you know what the house is like before you swap surely. I've house swapped and you get a lot of pictures generally.

Original poster
goodygoodymummy · 17/08/2016 21:28

Ok, consensus seems to be that I am being unreasonable.

House swapping is not like staying in a hotel/villa though whatwhat, you normally clean before you leave. That is the norm.

Will put it down to experience and put on my rubber gloves when I get home. Yes, they did get an amazing deal with our house, Lucky them. We arrived to rumpled bed linen, no towels and dirty windows that you could barely see through. Ce la vie...... Thanks for the feedback everyone :-)

OP posts:
myownprivateidaho · 17/08/2016 21:33

Oh come on. Most people are not going to want the last day of their holiday cleaning their holiday home or trying to find a cleaner at short notice in a city and country they don't know. You were supposed to find a cleaner and you didn't, that's all there is to it really. Nothing to do with them and certainly not their fault.

As for the quality of their house, sure you knew its size and rough condition from description and photos? And while it's lovely that you cleaned everything to hotel standard when you left, the clue is in the name there - if you're not paying hotel prices can't expect hotel standard!

KC225 · 17/08/2016 21:40

Maybe house swapping isn't for you

LuluJakey1 · 17/08/2016 21:42

They didn't clean the windows! Dirty bastards! What is the world coming to! Ring the Daily Mail with the story- it is absolutely up their street Wink It will be front page and you can look sad next to a dirty window with your chamois leather.

TheArtistFormerlyKnownAs · 17/08/2016 21:43

OP why wouldn't you just hire another cleaning service? There are plenty who can come at short notice for a one time job. It's almost like you are looking for reasons to resent these people. It sounds like house swapping may not be for you. No judgment on that, it's not for me either.

seasidesally · 17/08/2016 21:54

out of curiosity
what is the appeal of house swapping for a holiday apart from it being cheaper ??

Bearbehind · 17/08/2016 21:55

I would genuinely rather stay at home than have strangers in my house while I stayed at theirs so who cleaned what would be the least of my worries.

beela · 17/08/2016 22:11

I don't understand this one. You had both arranged to sort out the cleaning of your own homes, via cleaners. Your cleaner let you down. So you need to find another cleaner or clean it yourself.

LyndaNotLinda · 17/08/2016 22:25

When I did it seaside, it was because it was cheaper than a conventional holiday. I also met some lovely people and stayed in some places I wouldn't have gone otherwise

pinkdelight · 17/08/2016 22:39

Windows?! You expected them to clean the windows?? You were already BU but the windows thing is way ott.

QuackDuckQuack · 17/08/2016 22:46

There are a number of ways to ruin a holiday on the last day. One of them is to spend it cleaning.

Original poster
goodygoodymummy · 17/08/2016 22:46

Ok ok I get it. I am being really unreasonable. I guess that as I cleaned my entire house top to bottom for them to ensure everything was perfect for their holiday, I expected the same. Thought that was normal practice. I have house swapped before and the other houses we stayed in were cleaned to the same standard as I left mine. So it seemed reasonable. I have had my wrists slapped by you all. No more swapping for us ;-)

OP posts:
JohnLithgowsLargeForehead · 17/08/2016 22:51

I've houseswapped before (seaside sally- it's the lack of accomodation costs that is the reason people do it) and we both cleaned ourselves at the end, but would totally have gone for a cleaner if that was the arrangement (as the last day was all taken up with cleaning!) I think in this case it was upto you to arrange someone else.

SaucyJack · 17/08/2016 22:52

I need a holiday just from reading all this talk of cleaning.

Chill Winston.

JohnLithgowsLargeForehead · 17/08/2016 22:53

goodygoody Although it's not on if they didn't leave it nice for you before you arrived.

Rattusn · 17/08/2016 22:55

I don't get house swaps. How do you know they won't trash your house? I also wouldn't feel comfortable with strangers staying in my house.

Op it seems like you changed the agreement, so yabu

tofutti · 17/08/2016 23:24

RTFT, OP has said she is being unreasonable.

I hope you didn"t clean their house OP