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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel that this email is intrusive

208 replies

Thornyrose7 · 12/08/2016 12:41

I am due to start a new teaching contract at a new place of work in September. I am not new to teaching, I have been doing it on and off for 15 years with breaks and maternity gaps.
I have my new timetable and some details about the coming year which I am planning to look at the week before my contract starts and do some planning then. My summer is taken up with children's activities, weekends away etc etc.
I have just received an email from a teacher who is also due to start the same time as me. I believe that she is an NQT. We will be sharing responsibility for one course. This teacher wants me to send her my planning and scheme of work and wants to discuss next year.
AIBU to feel really intruded upon?
I believe that teachers holidays are sacred and if you want to work over summer that is a personal choice.I am also annoyed that she has got hold of my personal email, when we have never met.
I don't want our working relationship to get off to a bad start, but I am not sure how to respond!

OP posts:
ImYourMama · 12/08/2016 12:43

Respond politely that your summer is incredibly busy but you really look forward to working with her in the new term, and maybe suggest an evenings planning session if possible when you've met?

Mymouthgetsmeintrouble · 12/08/2016 12:44

Sounds great lets meet up mid september to give us a chance to settle in , thats what i would reply

WorraLiberty · 12/08/2016 12:44

Just tell her what you've told us and that you're busy doing family/Summer things right now.

MooPointCowsOpinion · 12/08/2016 12:47

Any email I've ever had over the summer is full of apologies and comments on a 'restful summer' to make sure it's clear I'm not expected to be working.

If she's an NQT, she's just eager and unaware. A gentle reminder that you're not working as it's the summer break should help, and an offer to spend an hour with her when school starts back would be nice.

Remember she's terrified, she's trying to overplan to compensate for her fears. Being new to teaching is horrible, it takes a couple of years before you're even speaking the same language as the established teachers.

SpringTown46 · 12/08/2016 12:48

Ignore and feign ignorance: 'it must have gone into the spam' Or, 'that's an old personal account, how did you get hold of it..? I check my work email just before start of term'.

scaryteacher · 12/08/2016 12:48

Ask how she got hold of your personal email for starters! If you are employed from 01/09, then presumably, you are not paid until that time, and as yet are not employed by the school, so are under no obligation to send her anything. If she's your HoD, then it's a different matter.

ImperialBlether · 12/08/2016 12:51

She's not teaching yet so she isn't on her summer holidays. Presumably she's heard that teachers have to work in their holidays and naturally she wants to make a start. The fact you are confident and experienced enough not to need to have done that yet doesn't mean she's in the wrong.

This woman will be a colleague and maybe a friend. Treat her nicely and remember what it's like to be facing your first year in teaching.

Salmotrutta · 12/08/2016 12:51

I would ignore and pretend I hadn't read it. Or ignore it and not bother even pretending

Is it a work e-mail address? Thankfully I can't access my work e-mail out of school Grin

Or reply to say "I won't be available to discuss this until term starts"

Ninasimoneinthemorning · 12/08/2016 12:52

I agree with moopoint

witsender · 12/08/2016 12:53

She's just freaking out. Email back, saying that you are hugely busy all holidays but look forward to sitting down in the first few weeks to plan with her.

MargaretCavendish · 12/08/2016 13:01

I don't think that you're being at all unreasonable to not want to be working now, but reading your post made me think of when my husband was an NQT, and how incredibly anxious he was before starting. They were pretty vague about the classes he'd actually be teaching and he was terrified that he'd have to teach texts he didn't know (he's an English teacher) and that he'd have to do it on a couple of day's notice. While clearly you're not going to be able or willing to send her all your planning now (and quite fairly so) I think if you know how you're intending to split the course then sending her a one paragraph email making it clear how you see this working would be an act of tremendous kindness.

I also think you should be a little diplomatic here for your own self-interest, and not just for your working relationship with her directly. Surely by far the most likely place for her to have got your personal email address is your HoD? While I don't think that means you have to jump through hoops and do what she's asking, it does mean that ignoring the email or very bluntly telling her you don't work in the holiday might not give the best first impression.

IceRoadDucker · 12/08/2016 13:03

YABU to feel "really intruded upon"... she hasn't asked for your bra size! witsender's reply is fine.

Salmotrutta · 12/08/2016 13:03

See, I'm a grumpy bat. Grin

NQT she might be but she presumably did student teaching placements and would realise that unsolicited e-mails during holidays aren't the done thing?

Goingtobeawesome · 12/08/2016 13:04

Why does she want your planning? Doesn't she need to do her own?

luckylavender · 12/08/2016 13:06

But if you are sharing a course, you do need to do some planning before you both turn up at the start of term.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 12/08/2016 13:08

this !
Ignore and feign ignorance: 'it must have gone into the spam' Or, 'that's an old personal account, how did you get hold of it..? I check my work email just before start of term'

OlennasWimple · 12/08/2016 13:09

I thought teachers did work in the holidays? Confused That's what everyone says whenever pp trot out the line about teachers having things easy with long holidays

I appreciate the OP and the NQT are technically employed yet, before anyone points that out

trafalgargal · 12/08/2016 13:14

I hope you'll be more of a team player once term starts.

Yes you are on holidays but perhaps she has reads all the teacher MN posts insisting that teachers don't get long summer holidays as so much of it needs to be devoted to lesson planning and preparation for the academic year ahead .

She's new and keen, just send her a brief outline so she has some idea and if you really can't be arsed to do more than that then at least let her know when you can get together with her at the beginning of term or just before.

Czerny88 · 12/08/2016 13:16

It doesn't seem to me to be her place to ask to see your planning - she's not your line manager, presumably. Asking for some advice or tips is fair enough, but it sounds a bit like she's either checking up on you or wants to crib your lesson plans. To give her the benefit of the doubt I would put it down to over-eagerness / apprehension about her new role, but I would focus any discussions on the one course for which you share responsibility; the rest is none of her business. Obviously you don't want to get your relationship off to a bad start, but neither do you want to set a precedent of her dictating that you have to provide her with schemes of work in the middle of the school holidays.

MargaretCavendish · 12/08/2016 13:18

this !
Ignore and feign ignorance: 'it must have gone into the spam' Or, 'that's an old personal account, how did you get hold of it..? I check my work email just before start of term'

I think this is really unnecessarily mean. Even if all you say is 'I'm not going to be able to send you any of those things before term begins' then at least she knows she has to just get on with her own planning and forget about trying to coordinate it closely with you.

For what it's worth my husband and his colleagues have been bouncing schemes of work back and forth this week so I don't think her expectation is as completely outlandish as some people do.

Scorbus · 12/08/2016 13:19

She's an NQT, can't you remember how it felt the summer before your first job (not placement)?

A polite email back to say you're busy but will catch up with her I. September is all that's needed.

I'm well over a decade into teaching and still get emails throughout the summer from colleagues of all experience levels; it's not that rare!

Witchend · 12/08/2016 13:20

I'd have thought you would need to meet and discuss some point over the holidays if you're sharing a course together.
I think she's being quite reasonable to ask as I imagine she's not able to get on with as much planning as she'd like to get done over the holidays until she knows what you're doing.

As an NQT she probably isn't able to wing it as much as an old timer, and lesson planning will take far longer so perfectly sensible for her to want to do as much as possible. She's not asking for a week's intensive coaching or you to do the plans for her,

VioletBam · 12/08/2016 13:21

Just ignore it. She's overstepped the mark.

sonjadog · 12/08/2016 13:21

She´s just new and keen and it probably anxious about starting in September. I think you are being a bit of a grump to feel intruded on. Don´t you remember what it feels like to be new to teaching?

It´s also normal to get emails a week or two before the start of term. Teachers´ holidays are not that sacred. Most people are back at work preparing the week before term starts. So she is a bit early with her mail, but not that much.

Just write back and tell her you are busy with family stuff and won´t be considering planning and teaching until x date.

iKeepDancingintheDark · 12/08/2016 13:23

But if you are sharing the responsibility for a course which starts in early September then you do need to meet up to discuss and plan it before then, surely?