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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel that this email is intrusive

208 replies

Thornyrose7 · 12/08/2016 12:41

I am due to start a new teaching contract at a new place of work in September. I am not new to teaching, I have been doing it on and off for 15 years with breaks and maternity gaps.
I have my new timetable and some details about the coming year which I am planning to look at the week before my contract starts and do some planning then. My summer is taken up with children's activities, weekends away etc etc.
I have just received an email from a teacher who is also due to start the same time as me. I believe that she is an NQT. We will be sharing responsibility for one course. This teacher wants me to send her my planning and scheme of work and wants to discuss next year.
AIBU to feel really intruded upon?
I believe that teachers holidays are sacred and if you want to work over summer that is a personal choice.I am also annoyed that she has got hold of my personal email, when we have never met.
I don't want our working relationship to get off to a bad start, but I am not sure how to respond!

OP posts:
Lilaclily · 12/08/2016 13:54

I think you sound perfectly reasonable in your latest post op and yes she does sound pushy

SandyPantz · 12/08/2016 13:54

Jez can't you even just fire off a quick reply about how you'll divide the work so she can crack on with planning hers even if you don't want to plan your share?

You say holidays are sacred, yet you're leaving her flapping in the wind for her holiday, it would take you less time than posting on this tread to give her a starting point to get working on!

SandyPantz · 12/08/2016 13:57

She was probably TOLD to ask you for your scheme of work, it makes no sense for everyone to start their SOW from scratch. People share their SOWs, that's not getting people to do your work for you, that's just using existing resources efficiently.

Do you have a SOW or not? if not, what are you going to do on day 1? You MUST be doing some planning at some point before you start?

pudcat · 12/08/2016 13:57

But surely you both need to know what each other is doing before term starts if you are sharing a course.

MargaretCavendish · 12/08/2016 13:58

SO she wants to pick your brains? Or probably avoid doing any planning herself?

I think this is really unfair. She almost certainly just wants to see what the OP is teaching on the course they share so that she can work out what she needs to cover. It's actually quite hard to see how she can do any planning for this course if she doesn't have a clear idea of the division of labour.

I think she also probably doesn't think that's she asking for much. If she knows that OP is much more experienced she may well think that she'll already have this material to adapt (and surely she does to some extent, as otherwise doing it all in the week before term seems foolhardy!): she might think that she's really just asking for a couple of documents to be attached to an email. Obviously this isn't the case and OP should tell her that, but she could do so gently!

SandyPantz · 12/08/2016 13:59

Its fine for you to chose to not do any planning till just before term starts, but you are forcing her to do the same if you can't even let her know from your SOW what you are planning, even if it's just an outline at this point with no detail.

That's not fair, you might be able to fill in a detailed SOW 1 week before term, but she's NQ, it'll take her longer, and you're preventing her from getting started now.

BoneyBackJefferson · 12/08/2016 14:01

If you have got to this point it has taken you longer that it have done to send the SoW and say "here is the SoW we can discuss it the first day back (inset) regards" etc.

MargaretCavendish · 12/08/2016 14:02

She was probably TOLD to ask you for your scheme of work

I also think this is likely, as it explains why she had your email address. It also might explain why her tone reads as 'off' to the OP: she almost certainly had no idea that this request would be either unexpected or considered offensive by the OP.

Idefix · 12/08/2016 14:02

Your response seems off op and your frustration seems directed at the wrong person. If the email is a private one she has most likely been given this by the institution you work for who may also have thought a preterm meet up for two colleagues teaching a shared course for the first time to meet up was a good idea
A polite email declining will suffice but I second other pp in that I hope you are not teaching my children.
As an aside your attitude is not reflective of the many teachers I know.

MargaretCavendish · 12/08/2016 14:03

Sorry, switched between second and third person confusingly there!

SandyPantz · 12/08/2016 14:04

This is all it would take out of your time:

"I haven't done my SOW yet, but how about I take a,b,c,d,e, topic and you take f,g,h,i,j topic and we link up the exact order near the start of term?, I've attached a SOW from a different year, it's not the same topics but it shows the kind of thing that needs to be included as a guide/template"

Then she has something to actually work on and you can get off MN and enjoy your prescious holiday without leaving her sweating & stabbing in the dark!

SandyPantz · 12/08/2016 14:05

As an aside your attitude is not reflective of the many teachers I know
nods.

ellanutella8 · 12/08/2016 14:06

I am an RQT and really not sure she has overstepped the mark as people have suggested. It's possible the HoD has given her the OP's email and told her to contact her. You are both new to the school so it makes sense to be in contact before day 1 when the children are in front of you or stuck in inset meetings.

I have been in weekly contact with my new year group partner. You don't have to respond to her email straight away but you do need to develop a good working relationship with your new colleague, she will be very nervous and a response from you however brief will be greatly appreciated.

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 12/08/2016 14:13

Blimey.

Sacred holidays, intrusive emails, you sound really intensive.

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 12/08/2016 14:15

Intense.
Sorry.

Original poster
Thornyrose7 · 12/08/2016 14:23

Nope, I am not intense, or precious, just in a different place from this NQT. I just had an emotional response to a rather pushy email, this doesn't make me a bad teacher.
I am going to respond politely and professionally.

OP posts:
DragonsEggsAreAllMine · 12/08/2016 14:23

Poor woman, bet she wonders what she's let herself into. How can she plan when she has no idea how you are sharing the course. So now she will be doing it once school has started because you can't be bothered.

I don't know any teachers that do no work at all over the holidays. I can't imagine many heads being pleased with that attitude either.

Mycraneisfixed · 12/08/2016 14:25

YANBU Thornyrose7 Good idea to tell her you'll contact her nearer the start of term. She sounds a bit OTTConfused
When I was NQT I wouldn't have had the nerve to be so pushy.

Acorn44 · 12/08/2016 14:27

I'd be happy to meet her now rather than have a last minute panic in the first week of term, especially if it's a school you don't know (though admittedly I don't have your home commitments). However, as the experienced member of staff - regardless of the fact you won't officially be employed until September - I would have contacted her in July to sort this out (as is standard practice in all the schools I've worked).

oldlaundbooth · 12/08/2016 14:28

Thornyrose7

You're definitely not intense or precious, you have given the email a lot more thought and sensitivity than most teachers I know would!!

Holidays are bloody sacred.

oldlaundbooth · 12/08/2016 14:30

'I can't imagine many heads being pleased with that attitude either.'

I think the OP is past giving a shit what the Head thinks. And I 'm sure the Head is too busy not giving a fuck either.

teatowel · 12/08/2016 14:31

I don't understand how you haven't communicated before. How can you be sharing a course and have not yet have worked out what you will both be teaching? How can she possibly start to plan that course? Poor girl not only is she probably nervous about starting teaching she is also having to worry about getting the information she needs to do the job. Thirty years on I can well remember the summer before I started my first teaching post. Be kind.

WeAllHaveWings · 12/08/2016 14:32

Agree, she has probably be told to contact you and ask as she will have no idea how you will share the course. She will have no idea you don't do any planning until the last week and you may be reading a tone into her email that's not there (because you are pissed off with being contacted).

Give her a break.

Acorn44 · 12/08/2016 14:33

Teatowel Absolutely!

YellowPrimula · 12/08/2016 14:33

Goodness I work in a school and I am expected to pick up emails on holiday or not . Fair enough if you are away for a fortnight holiday but beyond that a dim view would be taken . Incidentally the teachers seem to have no qualms about emailing me in the holidays or indeed at the weekend so as far as I am concerned emailing them in the holidays is fine.

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