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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To let my son drive where he likes?

49 replies

willowtreecottage · 11/08/2016 13:04

A bit of a moot point now,as he has been doing it for ages, however...
As soon as he passed his driving test(17),he went everywhere. I'm talking 300 miles from our home on one of his first trips.
Then again the next weekend.
I wasn't particularly pleased, but DH reassured me that he did similar ( from US and at a younger age)
Well, the amount of patents telling me we should have stopped him has been extraordinary! Apparently not till he was 21... "he'd need a good few years driving before l'd let him" blah blah...
Is this a thing?
Do/did you restrict where your teens go at the beginning? DS claims l am too " over protective, and most of his friends parents dont care"and l like to use this as an example of my laid back nature. not true

OP posts:

MothertotheLordsofmisrule · 11/08/2016 13:18

It's a rite of passage doing the long car trip as soon as you've passed your test. Usually Bude.

Happy memories - clapped out bright yellow Ford Escort filled to the roof with sleeping bags etc
Scrumpy belly and bad hangovers.

YorkieDorkie · 11/08/2016 13:21

To be honest I think it's a really good thing. The short journeys don't really cement any skills. A long journey would really embed confidence!

gleam · 11/08/2016 13:22

YANBU.

J0kersSmile · 11/08/2016 13:24

Wasn't he having two hour driving lessons before he passed?

When I passed I kept having comments about how brave I was to drive to places over an hour away and that I drove into town ect. I didn't really understand why but being an adult no one told me not to.

Original poster

willowtreecottage · 11/08/2016 13:24

Yes, now ( five months later) l can see how beneficial it can be.
Especially if someone needs something picked up from far away!
Plus, l'm glad he takes on motorways now ( with the confidence of youth on his side !)

OP posts:

Fairylea · 11/08/2016 13:30

I think it's great, to be honest serious accidents are just as likely to happen on a 30 min trip into town as they are on a 300 mile trip. You get idiots on the road everywhere, as long as a new driver is sensible they should be good to drive anywhere, that's the point of passing a driving test!

Original poster

willowtreecottage · 11/08/2016 13:30

I didn't/ don't think 2 hour driving lessons are comparable to suddenly on the motorway - driving to the north of England from the South west!
So stressful for me...

OP posts:

PuntCuffin · 11/08/2016 13:36

I passedo my test and a couple of weeks later drove 400 miles from home to start my uni course, in a car loaded to the gunwales with my kit. Never occurred to me or my parents not to do this. Should I have got them to take me, giving them an unneeded 800 mile round trip or struggled single handed on public transport? How exactly does these 'helpful' parents propose that you stop him?

CostaAddict · 11/08/2016 13:36

The weekend after I passed my test I drove me & 3 others down south for a holiday (200 miles each way). I loved it! I think it's made me a much more confident driver. I will drive anywhere without a bother. Even did an Edinburgh to London road trip by myself & DS age 3.

My friend on the other hand won't drive for more than an hour and refuses point blank to drive on the motorway or any roads she isn't familiar with she was very restricted with driving time when learning/first passed and it's made her extra anxious now... 10years later!

Original poster

willowtreecottage · 11/08/2016 13:43

punt l was wondering how they'd stop their son? Blackmail l suppose. I run into it quite a bit over other teenage restrictions!

OP posts:

nagynolonger · 11/08/2016 13:47

Don't think any of mine did, but they had to share a car with me so I would not have taken kindly to them just taking off for no good reason. They used it to drive to their holiday jobs and to sports fixtures. For the first cricket season I refused to let them transport other team mates. IMO a car full of teenage lads is never a good idea no matter how sensible they are.

As soon as they bought their own car and were paying for the fuel they went where they wanted. By that time they had been driving for 2/3 years.

Jacobbay · 11/08/2016 13:50

My youngest passed their test at 17 yrs on a Friday. The next morning she set out with her friends to go shopping at Lakeside. Her sense of direction failed her and she did over an hour on the m25 before finding her bearings, she's turned out a good driver.

ToastyFingers · 11/08/2016 14:15

I actually laughed at 'not till 21' you'd have to be pretty controlling to try and stop an adult doing something their perfectly entitled to and capable of. It's driving, not crack.

Fuckingmoles · 11/08/2016 14:18

I did restrict passengers for the 1st couple of months - he was the 1st to pass his test and I didn't want him driving around a carful of lairy non- drivers.

milliemolliemou · 11/08/2016 14:25

Clearly they're capable so why not? But fond of the ?Canadian? pattern that has special plates until the driver is one year past their driving test and a restriction on the number of passengers until then.

Cahu58 · 11/08/2016 14:29

My DD drove from Newcastle to Liverpool and back a couple of months after passing her test aged 17. I didn't think to stop her .... She is a confident driver.

StillDrSethHazlittMD · 11/08/2016 14:40

It was about two months after I passed my test that I got my first car. Was on a Friday evening. Saturday morning the first thing I did was drive 20 miles to the nearest motorway junction, got on it, drove for about an hour, got off that junction, got back on and came home the other direction. Probably about 150 miles. I felt it was important to get practice immediately.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 11/08/2016 14:48

Yes mine did long trips pretty early on. I'd had a few lifts from them first and was confident that they are sensible drivers, plus I took them on the motorway and gave them some pointers.

I have a 50 year old friend who simply will not drive on motorways. I think that's a shame.

maninawomansworld01 · 11/08/2016 14:51

Let him go where he like Some people are all weirdly nervous about driving long distances or to strange places, don't let them pass that shit on to your son. Good on him!

I passed my test at 17 and a couple of pals and I did the Paris - Dakar rally the next year. We got into a few scrapes but survived and had the time of our lives!

WigelsPigels · 11/08/2016 14:55

I passed my test I wasn't a teen , got dropped off at home. Phoned our insurance, drove myself to work 30 mins away on the dual carriageway. I would say go for it.

Original poster

willowtreecottage · 11/08/2016 15:19

Thank you for your responses.
They are interesting !

OP posts:

Ginkypig · 11/08/2016 16:27

I'd have liked to have seen my parents try that with me I had left home and was in my own flat at 17! (It's a moot point as I don't drive but still)
I have been all over the country myself it never once occurred to me that my parents would have thought she's too young to do that. i know it's different as I wasn't driving but changing at stations etc.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 11/08/2016 16:32

The insurance is an issue with friends who have kids with cars, so they want to keep the mileage low.

Secretus · 11/08/2016 16:35

Mine were both a little nervous at first so I just let them get some mileage in locally. I paid for motorway driving lessons after they passed their test and I didn't allow them to take passengers (or have lifts with new drivers) for a while.
When DS went to uni he started to share the driving on the drop offs and pick ups and he is now a much better driver than me an experienced driver who has driven up and down the country.

Tankerery · 11/08/2016 16:37

I'm one of those neurotic parents, although I wish I wasn't
I'm fairly lax about most things but am really anxious about RTCs and young drivers.

Mine both had a black box for the first year so they were restricted to driving between 6am-11pm. They were only allowed one passenger for the first three months. I pay for the car insurance which was cheaper with the box, they were offered alternatives if they paid.

I also paid for Pass-Plus for my peace of mind.

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