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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU that children should be using plates at nursery?

39 replies

ginplease83 · 08/08/2016 22:39

I went to pick up my DD early from nursery today and it just so happened that they were having their tea. This included pizza and also sliced grapes.

I was a bit surprised to see that none of the children (my DD is 22 months but the preschool had the same) had any plates to eat from. The pizza was put straight onto the table which was covered with a PVC table cloth. This isn't consistent with what I've been doing at home (for pizza she would have a plate and a knife and fork). I appreciate her ability to use them is hit and miss but I always thought using cutlery and plates was more of a social thing and i was trying to instill table manners early. MY DM who worked at a preschool a while ago agrees.

OP posts:

NickNacks · 08/08/2016 22:41

What did they say about it?

Ellioru · 08/08/2016 22:43

Is it possibly a one off because it was pizza? I've never seen anyone use a knife and fork with pizza.

GinAndOnIt · 08/08/2016 22:43

Maybe they do this for tea time as it's usually a small meal and use proper cutlery etc for the cooked lunch? So this is just a 'picky tea' which is fine IMO.

NobodyInParticular · 08/08/2016 22:44

Yes, they should def have plates and nice miniature safe cutlery at 22mo!

Maybe this was a one off? Though straight on to the PVC table cloth seems v odd! I could understand pizza as finger food but they should still have plates. Are the nursery poor in other areas?

SavoyCabbage · 08/08/2016 22:45

Pizza does not require a knife and fork. I agree with the plates part though.

Perhaps your nursery is part of the new fangled way of serving food. It wasn't given to the children in a welly boot was it?

MrsMulder · 08/08/2016 22:46

I really couldn't get bothered about that to be honest. I am sure the table cover was clean and it was just finger food.

milkysmum · 08/08/2016 22:46

Agree I would excpect plates to be used but maybe the dishwasher broke or something? As for knives and forks- no not for a slice of pizza that is finger food surely!?

MrsJoeyMaynard · 08/08/2016 22:51

Not sure what's normal for nurseries, but at DS2's nursery they give the children their food on plastic plates at mealtimes.

They also get cutlery when appropriate - if it's a finger food type tea, they wouldn't get cutlery, but they do get cutlery if it's the sort of meal that an adult would normally eat with cutlery. This all goes for the toddler room as well as pre-school room.

As you say, I assumed nursery doing this was all part of instilling normal social conventions around mealtimes into the children, even if they're not very good at using cutlery.

So, not all nurseries do mealtimes like yours, but I don't know which set up is more usual.

Original poster

ginplease83 · 08/08/2016 22:52

I used a knife and fork to eat pizza at Zizzis on Friday night and so did all my friends. Guess its a different setting but I would do at home.

For me its more about consistency really, I'm trying my hardest to teach her things and its not very helpful if they are being undone at nursery.

Or maybe its wishful thinking trying to teach a 22 month old to use a plate? My DM's nursery all used to pass each other plastic plates and pass food to each other, DM said that they did it to encourage conversation and manners. Not sure if they were a bit older than mine though.

OP posts:

HSMMaCM · 08/08/2016 22:54

Just ask. It might have been a one off because someone forgot to switch the dishwasher on after lunch or something.

Original poster

ginplease83 · 08/08/2016 22:56

Nobodyinparticular- I am beginning to see little cracks in the nursery the more time i have to look around. I noticed that one of the members of staff that is a qualified teacher has disappeared and they have just removed her from the website, this doesn't impact my DD as she wasn't her key worker but one of their selling points was that they had a qualified teacher in the setting. I'm beginning to consider moving my DD but the difficulty is that we have just put our house on the market so I don't want to have to move her twice.

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Original poster

ginplease83 · 08/08/2016 22:59

I think I will ask when she's next in.

DD has a speech delay (shes 22 months and has said nowt), I have voiced concerns and asked their opinion but they haven't really come back to me with anything, just said they think its normal and not to worry. I would have expected them to reassure me that they do activities to encourage speech etc but as this is my PFB perhaps my expectations are quite high.

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MrsJoeyMaynard · 08/08/2016 23:00

I often pick DS2 up from nursery as his room is finishing tea - he's in the toddler room, so age range from about 18 months to just under 3 yrs - and the kids there don't seem to have any problems using plates. Managing cutlery is a bit trickier but most of them are at least having a go (unless it's a finger food tea).

Claireabella1 · 08/08/2016 23:05

Hm don't know if yabu really, I often do pizza when my niece and nephew stay over, I'll put it on one plate and give them a napkin each, limits washing up for me and generally pizza and cucumber sticks go from plate to mouth so no need for an individual plate. But I'm not sure about it being put straight on pvc table cloth though, wouldn't kill them to use a plate.

SaucyJack · 08/08/2016 23:08

YANBU. Just seems a lazy, I s'pose.

I'd be wondering what other "normal" things they weren't bothering to do when parents weren't watching.

Dandelionandfizz · 08/08/2016 23:10

Have you spoken to anyone else regarding the speech? Nurseries can be really hit and miss with that and early intervention is key. If you haven't already then give your health visitor a call.

The plate thing wouldn't bother me too much but it seems like it's part of a bigger picture.

JustMarriedBecca · 08/08/2016 23:10

Our nursery used plates. They used plastic there but we use crockery at home. My DD is 21 months and would use a knife and fork at home although they use a fork and spoon at nursery. EYFS guidance which nursery follows only requires them to use a spoon by two which doesn't seem very challenging. They use knifes in the 2-3 room at our nursery.

cricketballs · 08/08/2016 23:11

I have OCD tenancies regarding table etiquette but pizza? Thats a straight onto one plate/board and everyone dives in.

NobodyInParticular · 08/08/2016 23:13

No, your expectations do not sound high! They sound useless and lazy if they're not giving good input on a speech delay even after you'd asked them. That is shit OP. I'd expect a good nursery to have noticed the issue and put together an action plan before you brought it to their attention. If it wasn't for the house move I'd say switch nurseries. is your nursery my old nursery

BestZebbie · 08/08/2016 23:14

At a volunteer-run parent-and-toddler group we have Snack with sliced grapes and rice cakes presented on plates but then served straight onto a PVC tablecloth.

At nursery Snack is also like that, but the proper meals use plates and some sort of cutlery (might only be a spoon depending on the food and age).

VioletBam · 08/08/2016 23:15

Is DD happy there? Does she seem pleased to go?

tapdancingmum · 08/08/2016 23:22

I run a preschool and all our snacks are served on plates but at lunch club they put their sandwiches and whatnot straight into the table. The table has been cleaned before they sit down - I don't think I would like to use a plastic cover as I would think they are harder to clean.

With regards to speech the nursery should have details of a local drop in centre where you can access speech therapists. In our area they call them drop in but you have to be referred (daft) and I can do that. They don't normally see them until they are 3 but I have referred and have heard of health visitors referring earlier. I would always prefer to refer and to be told I was jumping the gun to not referring and there being a problem later. Also, your local county council should have some details on their website relating to speech. We have a communication carousel which gives some quite good advice to us and parents.

Original poster

ginplease83 · 08/08/2016 23:22

DD seems ok there. She cries when i drop her off but i think thats normal. She's been going since January but her key worker has recently and rather suddenly left. I was gutted as she was lovely and my DD adored her. i found her on Facebook and was tempted to ping her and ask her where she was going and ask for her address to send her a present.

Its one of the more expensive nurseries in the area. Im in Somerset and its £50 per day. We have to provide nappies, suncream, wipes etc etc, i don't know if thats the norm either, I think nappies are.

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EarSlaps · 08/08/2016 23:25

Savoy I was wondering if they were serving the food on slates with edible flowers and a touch of foam.

Original poster

ginplease83 · 08/08/2016 23:25

tapdancingmum- That sounds great. They just said they do a 2 year check with a health visitor and then they pass it back to us. They seemed very blasé about it.

DD can understand EVERYTHING. If I ask her where something is on a page she can 99% of the time pick it out. The HV wanted to refer her to audiology but she can hear fine.

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