AIBU that children should be using plates at nursery?

[ginplease83]

I went to pick up my DD early from nursery today and it just so happened that they were having their tea. This included pizza and also sliced grapes.

I was a bit surprised to see that none of the children (my DD is 22 months but the preschool had the same) had any plates to eat from. The pizza was put straight onto the table which was covered with a PVC table cloth. This isn't consistent with what I've been doing at home (for pizza she would have a plate and a knife and fork). I appreciate her ability to use them is hit and miss but I always thought using cutlery and plates was more of a social thing and i was trying to instill table manners early. MY DM who worked at a preschool a while ago agrees.

The nearest 'outstanding ' nursery does this too. I think it's dire and I bet they got plates out when the inspectors were in.

Don't you get to go to the 2 yr health check too? DS2 had his 2 yr health check at nursery, and they arranged it so me, the HV, and DS2's key worker all sat down together to go through it.

I think that is pretty horrible actually.
I can just imagine them wiping that PVC cloth with a filthy dish cloth.

But that's just me.

I wouldn't like it just put on the table either, but I'd put it in the 'bigger fish to fry' basket.

I find people who use a knife & fork to eat pizza (at Zizi's or elsewhere) odd. Pizza is meant to be picked up 😁

If you are moving just leave it. Uprooting her once will be be enough - no need to do it over pizza.

As for consistancy between home & nursery - you're going to have to give yourself a bit of a shake. How in gods name do you expect the nursery to know what YOU do at home, let alone 20/39/50/90 sets of parents? Nursery, friends, family, school - ALL have different rules and kids know that. That's just a very big 'get over it & quickly'.

I wouldn't like the eating off the tablecloth much - seems much harder to get it properly clean after a few greasy pizza meals, than dishwashable plates. And as you've said, it's also about learning normal table manners - we eat off plates, not the table. I wouldn't bother about the knives and forks so much for pizza, but would be interested to see what they do for other types of food.
It sounds as if you have a few misgivings about the nursery - I think I'd find a few reasons to drop by unexpectedly during the day (e.g. forget the sun cream and drop in with it mid morning...), to see what's going on when they aren't expecting parents; nowhere is perfect, but I found this reassuring (and they shouldn't mind this if they're running things well, providing you avoid nap times).

extrahotlattetogo- Blimey no need for such a tetchy response about 'giving myself a shake'- woah!! In terms of 'better fish to fry' and moving my daughter 'over pizza', actually my concern is that this is representative of laziness elsewhere in the setting, for example their blasé attitude over my DD's speech. Its about the bigger picture of the nursery.

I'd actually find it really weird if I went out for dinner to Zizzi's and they ate steaming hot Calzone or pizza with their fingers, if they didn't use a plate and ate it from the table then I'd probably make my excuses and leave. I appreciate we are talking about 2 year olds Sorry, I guess as you said everyone has their own rules.

I have to say though, I was at the Connaught having afternoon tea about 3 weeks ago and found the Americans eating sandwiches with knives and forks amusing.

Sallyjane- That is a really good idea. its a 10 mile trip but it might make me feel better about checking it out.

I'm not concerned about the knife and fork for pizza. I'd expect them to have spoons as a minimum for their hot food at lunch though. But plates seem pretty standard.

I'd expect a plate for the pizza or at the very least a paper napkin for the children to hold their slice. But, really, a plate. For the grapes, a small cup or plastic plate and, ideally, a fork (to build motor skills and general table skills, rather than because I think grapes must be eaten with a fork).

OP, pop in again at meal-time and see what goes on with another type of food. If there's no plates again, ask the staff.

I think the issue is that the lack of plates / cutlery and the attitude towards speech delay are indicitive of lazy management and staff who do the bare minimum and not of the high quality setting OP would like to think she is paying for.

FWIW op my DC's daycare nursery was £100 a day (London) and had all the superficial bells and whistles (beautiful facilities etc) and was at the time the most expensive in the immediate area, but was shit because the staff were poorly trained and couldn't give a fuck and the management were as good as chocolate teapots. I was very happy when OFSTED came round again and gave it the shitty rating it deserved.

GinPlease. That wasn't at all tetchy. Think about what you are saying. You want consistency between home & nursery. Unless it's coincidence you aren't going to get that. Nursery have their own way of doing things as do other people. Even if they were inclined to, it wouldn't be possible to be consistent with every child's home environment & not have total chaos. It's hard to realise that you can no longer control your DD's environment 24/7 but the sooner you (people in general, not just 'you' - you) accept that, the less stressful life is.

Whatever you teach her at home isn't 'being undone' by nursery, she will learn the different sets of rules. Yes, it'll take a little longer for some things to 'stick' this way, but it's not a big deal.

If you moved DD now it would be for trivial things such as pizza on the table because given you are (hopefully) moving soon, so they aren't going to have time to do anything meaningful re her speaking. She started in January, her key worker has left, your house is on the market...just personally I wouldn't add in another change unless it was really necessary and I just don't think it is. She's far more likely to come along with her speaking if she's happy & confident at nursery and you can see your GP etc to push for referrals etc.

I find it odd when I'm in Zizi's that some people eat Pizza with cutlery...to me that's the same as sandwiches, but each to their own 😁I'd find it pretty odd if people were eating off the table, rather than plates in a Restaurant and I don't like it in the nursery, but I wouldn't say anything - it would just remain a private WTAF moment. I definitely wouldn't leave a Restaurant because people were eating their pizza off the table - it's not like it's soup 😁

I agree it sounds like they could be a bit lazy/not fussed with some things, but quite often they're the ones who are amazingly creative, who are happy getting down & playing with the kids, encouraging them with messy play etc

But that aside, if DD is happy when you pick her up I'd leave it as it is until you have moved.

Lockedoutofmn. That's teaching children grapes should be eaten with a fork. Too weird for words. They have plenty if opportunity to work on fine motor skills, no need to do weird things like that.

They should ALWAYS have a plate. That just isn't rally acceptable, but a knife and fork for pizza? I find that ridiculous.

You eat pizza with a fork?!

I agree about the plates though!

DDs nursery got pulled up on not using plates at snack time in a CCSIW (Welsh equivalent of OFSTED) report jnot long before she started. They said it was a minor issue but still not acceptable. They always use plates now. I'd assume the same would be true in England.