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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask what happens when you get to 3

46 replies

MyAmDeryCross · 05/08/2016 21:25

I've got a lot of mileage out of "I'm going to count to three".

Daddy, as a last resort, says he will have to get mummy to count to three.

I'm concerned about what I will have to do if I ever have to count to three and can't bluff.

Calling on the infinite wisdom of mumsnet for tips.

OP posts:

Sunseed · 05/08/2016 21:26

Carry out the consequence?

Newes · 05/08/2016 21:27

You need a reasonable consequence or it is meaningless.

Don't want to put your shoes on to go to the shop?
I will count to three and you will come with or without your shoes.

It's not really a threat. Why does your DH use you saying it as if it is?

Felascloak · 05/08/2016 21:27

Put them in their room
Put them on the step
Take away something
Ban the TV
Ban the computer
Go home
Don't go out
Count very very very slowly

Felascloak · 05/08/2016 21:28

Oh I've x posted
I often count to 3 with no consequences thought of and 99% of the time it works

Original poster

MyAmDeryCross · 05/08/2016 21:29

The fear of the unknown may be the key.

I don't have to threaten a consequence anymore. I just say I'll count to three.

My son is a stubborn bugger and would see a consequence as a challenge.

OP posts:

almostthirty · 05/08/2016 21:29

I remove them from what ever it is they're doing and put them in time out (I know most MN gat time out but it works for us). I very rarely get to 3 though although ds 4 who has sen was so fed up with his little brother the other day, he hit his brother then put himself on the naughty step with a smile as if to say it was worth it!

TooTweeOrNotTooTwee · 05/08/2016 21:31

I'm regularly count to three and have never specified what will happen after three! It still works every time.

DC are only 3 and 2 though, expect we will have to come up with actual consequences in due course.

1Catherine1 · 05/08/2016 21:31

We count to 5 in our house... Recently I've been getting to 5...

Yesterday I told my daughter (who is 5 yo) that when I was a child my mother would have come up the stairs slapped my bum and put me in my room and if I got to 5 I would be following suit. I was worried for a moment (as I walked up the stairs because she waited for me to get to 5) that I would have to follow through but my DD looked at me and ran. Phew!

Normally though - we have a naughty chair. My DH works nights so the naughty chair is in the garden, unless it is raining and then it is in the shed. It is just like a naughty step but in a place her temper-tantrum can't wake her sleeping father. She has to sit on it for 5 minutes, which she absolutely detests. Unfortunately, when the objective is to get to bed and the naughty chair is preferable - the punishment is being grounded with no screen time...

StarryIllusion · 05/08/2016 21:37

Whatever I have threatened them with. For me it was always a slapped backside I would get if my mum reached 3. My cousin would get a slap and Kickles (she couldn't say pickles and it stuck) the stuffed rabbit taken off her all day. That was crueler than the slap IMO as it was a comfort object. Mine is only 2, coming up 3 so he gets grabbed and stuffed unceremoniously back in his pushchair where he proceeds to scream his (very healthy) lungs out about wanting to walk. I ignore him unless he is bothering others. When he gets a bit older I imagine it will be something taken away or not being allowed. No playing out/ipad/tv etc for the rest of the day or cancelling trip to Mcdonalds, toy shop, sweet shop, anything I might have said we'll do if he is good. Just never threaten a consequence that you aren't willing or able to follow through.

Original poster

MyAmDeryCross · 05/08/2016 21:39

I think he sees any specific punishment as a challenge.

I have had to try counting again a few times. Usually with a crosser voice. Does the trick for a bit.

The last time I got to three I started putting toys outside...

OP posts:

IJustLostTheGame · 05/08/2016 21:50

I used to turn into Marshmallow from Frozen.
Unfortunately after Frozen Fever came out dd now loves him.

IJustLostTheGame · 05/08/2016 21:54

I forgot to add now in threaten to text father Christmas. It's a shame but he only has time for children who aren't naughty.

Fauchelevent · 05/08/2016 21:57

Everyone knows if you say two and they're still smirking defiantly you say "two and a haaaaaalf... two and three quarters..."

reynoldsnumber · 05/08/2016 22:04

Take away a bedtime story!

EweAreHere · 05/08/2016 22:05

I count down from 3. And frequently, I just say 'Three!' loudly and crossly when I've had enough, and that gets them hopping. Grumbly, but hopping.

I don't always quite know what getting to 1 would mean sometimes, but it does have an effect since I don't overplay it.

FrogsSpawnofSanta · 05/08/2016 22:18

I remember once telling my son that if he didn't do as he was told "there will be consequences, I don't what they will be, but there will be consequences!" It actually worked but mainly because he wanted to know what consequences meant and it distracted him. It wasn't one of my better parenting moments.

skankingpiglet · 05/08/2016 22:19

Sometimes there are consequences pre-stated, other times as mentioned by a PP I work on fear of the unknown, plus the knowledge things have happened previously once three has been reached. Sometimes just the threat of counting is enough for 2.2yo DD1, but more often she likes to live on the edge and let me get to three before jumping into action and complying...

StrictlyMumDancing · 05/08/2016 22:20

I may have been known to say 'when I get to three I'll... I'll... well you don't really want me to come up with something do you???' with a stern look

Kalopsia77 · 05/08/2016 22:23

Ha! Mine are all teens now and it still works. I have NEVER got to three We have a lovely jokey friendly relationship but I have always maintained the element of fear. They don't push it 😂

Kalopsia77 · 05/08/2016 22:24

Having said that "2 and a half...2 and three quarters" has been a thing in the challenging years!

molyholy · 05/08/2016 22:25

I have never got to three thank god, because I would be like '3!.....erm'. I don't know what it is about it and it's not a threat I use all the time. Normally I will remove dd's ipad. But the 123 is for serious shit. And she knows it. I'm not sure how. It's bizarre.

imwithspud · 05/08/2016 22:26

Depends on what they're doing I think.

For example if we're in a supermarket and dd1 is messing around, running off, touching things etc then I'll tell her to stop otherwise she will have to sit in the trolley (she hates sitting in the trolley). If she doesn't comply then I start counting, it usually works. If I get to 3 and she still hasn't stopped doing what ever it is she's doing then in the trolley she goes. She will cry but in my view that's a natural consequence of her not being able to be grown up enough to behave in the supermarket.

Other times it will result in a stint on the step. Most of the time I only need to get to 2 before she starts doing what I've asked her to do.

Rumpelstiltskin143 · 05/08/2016 22:26

We used to use 4, never got there either. Or how about the "do I have to stop this car?" Goodness knows what I was going to do if I actually stopped the car.

BusStopBetty · 05/08/2016 22:32

I have got to three a few times. I always carry out the threat though (which is usually something like losing a privilege or a toy). Pointless just counting, I know someone who does this and regularly gets to three and her child just laughs.

WhatWouldFlopDo · 05/08/2016 22:37

I've never got past a loud "ONE" . Not got a clue what I'd do if I got to 3, probably sit her on the mat but that's more trouble than its worth because she goes bonkers.

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