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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About other mum on holiday?

39 replies

Simba84 · 03/08/2016 00:04

We are on a caravan site. My children have befriended a 4 year old little girl from a neighbouring caravan. The little girl is out constantly - her mum has told me she watches her out of the window - fair enough but I have seen mum lying on her front sunbathing this week whilst her kid is infront of our caravan doing silly little things that we have had to reprimand but mum has not noticed. Now a few times, the worse being today, we have gone on to the beach on the evening and the little girl has suddenly appeared. I did ask her if her mum knew where she was and she said yes and just carried on playing. After 30 minutes, mum charged on to the beach to ask why we had taken her on the beach. I said she had appeared and asked her about her mum and she said that the child is 4 and that I could not believe her. She was arsey with me but what was I expected to do? If I had taken the child back to the caravan, I would have had to drag my kids out of the sea who were having a great time or left them on the beach to take her. There is a lovely community aspect to caravan sites and it's nice but I am not their babysitter and am here to enjoy the holiday with my own kids.

OP posts:
Shizzlestix · 03/08/2016 00:08

YANBU, the other mum is, obviously. I'm surprised you asked. You could be nice and ask the mum if you can take her DD to the beach etc, but I wouldn't, cos I'm not a free babysitting service. Tricky if the child just appears. Hopefully her mother will actually step up and look after her own DD.

TuppencePenny · 03/08/2016 00:10

YANBU the other mother is irresponsible and id be concerned for her child out playing alone anything could happen at that age. If she got arsey with me id be telling her to patent her child responsibly.

Arfarfanarf · 03/08/2016 00:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rollonthesummer · 03/08/2016 00:14

She needs to watch her own child properly!

YourNewspaperIsShit · 03/08/2016 00:17

Sounds extreme but I'd probably report her. A lot of horrid things can happen to wandering children Angry YANBU she was projecting her own guilt.

Salmotrutta · 03/08/2016 00:20

This reply has been deleted

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wheresthel1ght · 03/08/2016 00:25

I think yabu.

She should be watching her kid better & you should have known better than to trust a 4 year old and you should have taken her back to check.

Lilacpink40 · 03/08/2016 00:25

YANBU I suspect the other mum knows it too. She was probably angry with herself and her DD, but you were an easier target at the time.

You sound like a great mum. Enjoy your hols Smile

Salmotrutta · 03/08/2016 00:27

wheres - bollocks.

Lilacpink40 · 03/08/2016 00:34

Agree with salmotrutta

evelynj · 03/08/2016 00:46

Yab a bit u

If a 4 yr old turns up somewhere without prior agreement with grown up they shouldn't be there-playing outside their caravan is one thing but I think you should have known to take her back. You'll never know the parents reaction if you had and it would teach your dc about responsibility

expatinscotland · 03/08/2016 00:46

Agree with salmon. It's a pity you didn't tell her she needs to look after her own kid when she got arsey. Next time she appears and you're near your caravan, and hers, I'd take her right back to her mum and tell her you aren't here to babysit.

expatinscotland · 03/08/2016 00:50

it would teach your dc about responsibility

WTAF? Teaches them to be mugs. That their play and enjoyment is secondary to some pisstaker making their responsibilities someone else's. 'Sorry, kids, you have to stop whatever you're doing, however enjoyable, to service someone else's responsibility because they CBA'd.' Fuck that for a game of soldiers. This excuse for a parent allowed her young child to wander off for a half hour before she clocked it. I'd have read her the fucking riot act.

At any rate, her child wouldn't be associating with mine anymore because I couldn't be bothered with some pisstaker who then got the arse with me .

softjellyjunglecustard · 03/08/2016 00:53

YANBU she needs to keep her kid in check. i cant imagine being so lax, especially on holiday where you're in a different town, you don't know anybody, surely your parent guard would be hyper sensitive if anything.

any responsibility lies with her - she should be thanking you for keeping her DD safe whilst out fraternizing with people she barely knows Confused

Salmotrutta · 03/08/2016 00:56

evelyn - bollocks.

skivvywoman · 03/08/2016 01:39

YANBU!!

You always get one lazy arsed parent on holiday who thinks its ok too let you be their kids babysitter!!

We were in Egypt once and this little girl was left to her own device the whole holiday it was that bad people were putting suntan lotion on her as she was so red! Mother was not interested she was only bothered about the all inclusive vodka!!

BillyNotQuiteNoMates · 03/08/2016 01:44

YANBU but I'd be tempted to ask for mothers mobile number so you can ring her the next time you find said 4 yo somewhere she shouldn't be. (Don't give her yours though!)
Hope you enjoy your holiday, and I equally hope that 4 yo is ok as well (not your responsibility)

TheWitTank · 03/08/2016 02:04

Looks like she got a fright and that might have her keeping a better eye out now (you would hope so anyway). It would have pissed me off and I would have told her she keeps an eye on her own child, I am not a child minder or friend, in fact she doesn't know me from Adam and who is she to dictate to me what I should and shouldn't be doing?

MrBoot · 03/08/2016 02:55

The little girl is not your responsibility and it is frightening to think it took her mother thirty minutes to locate her. Her mother is obviously irresponsible, you have seen this before the incident on the beach.

That all said, if a four year old girl who I knew had left the nearby caravan park, appeared beside me on the beach, I would have brought her back rather than send her back on her own. I wouldn't forgive myself if anything happened to her otherwise.

Were you obliged to bring her back? Absolutely not. But if you didn't and you were aware she was on her own, I think you were morally obliged to either look after her or bring her back.

TBH I would send her back to her own caravan if she comes over to your kids anymore. It will be a hard thing for you to do but you aren't and shouldn't have to be her carer.

expatinscotland · 03/08/2016 04:52

I'd have looked after her, but not brought her back until either the mum came or you were ready to go back. Second she got arsey I'd have told her where to stick it.

UnexpectedBaggage · 03/08/2016 05:27

YANBU. The girl was with you and safe. The mother needs to accept responsibility for her negligence.

Bollocks to stopping your DC having fun to take her back.

BitOutOfPractice · 03/08/2016 05:36

Yanbu but I do think it's odd you took the word of a 4yo in this situation. I wouldn't.

Janecc · 03/08/2016 05:53

I would have taken her back even though it inconvenienced your children. What you did was not unreasonable but did leave you open to scrutiny. If the woman is that mad to leave her child to wander off and blame you, she's that mad to cry abduction or child abuse to the police.

Redlocks28 · 03/08/2016 06:05

I wouldn't take the child back- then she is becoming your responsibility. I would have told the mum v clearly to look after her own child properly from now on as I have my own kids to look after--and then probably told mine to steer clear of the family.

Harsh on the child I know, but she isn't my responsibility.

BugPlaster · 03/08/2016 06:08

I would have taken her back when she appeared on the beach. Otherwise you would have been responsible for her on the beach, surely, as the only adult who knew where she was? Yes, her mum was not taking care and was probably feeling guilty and projecting - and your children would have been inconvenienced - but it would have drawn a line under it without you having to ask 'AIBU?'