Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

About other mum on holiday?

39 replies

Simba84 · 03/08/2016 00:04

We are on a caravan site. My children have befriended a 4 year old little girl from a neighbouring caravan. The little girl is out constantly - her mum has told me she watches her out of the window - fair enough but I have seen mum lying on her front sunbathing this week whilst her kid is infront of our caravan doing silly little things that we have had to reprimand but mum has not noticed. Now a few times, the worse being today, we have gone on to the beach on the evening and the little girl has suddenly appeared. I did ask her if her mum knew where she was and she said yes and just carried on playing. After 30 minutes, mum charged on to the beach to ask why we had taken her on the beach. I said she had appeared and asked her about her mum and she said that the child is 4 and that I could not believe her. She was arsey with me but what was I expected to do? If I had taken the child back to the caravan, I would have had to drag my kids out of the sea who were having a great time or left them on the beach to take her. There is a lovely community aspect to caravan sites and it's nice but I am not their babysitter and am here to enjoy the holiday with my own kids.

OP posts:

TheDowagerCuntess · 03/08/2016 06:09

After 30 minutes, mum charged on to the beach to ask why we had taken her on the beach.

And so with that ^^ comment, she has killed any chance of you keeping a freebie eye on her daughter.

Any time the child wanders over now, march her straight back.

Brass-neck mum walked straight into that one.

splendide · 03/08/2016 06:31

But marching her straight back is what the mum wanted her to do!

BugPlaster · 03/08/2016 06:33

But it's not a matter of 'mum wants me to match her straight back so I won't'. Keep things simple - take her back, tell her you are not watching her, will not watch her outside caravan either, job done.

splendide · 03/08/2016 06:37

I totally agree Bug, I would definitely have taken her back from the beach. I was just confused as to why a PP seemed to be suggesting that "marching her back" would be punishing the 4 year old's mum!

Mintychoc1 · 03/08/2016 07:11

No way would I have inconvenienced my family and interrupted our fun to take the child back. If Mum is worried and wants her back, she can come and get her! Obviously I'd look after her, that goes without saying, because she's a vulnerable small child. But what possible reason would there be for me taking her back myself? To stop her Mum worrying? Frankly that's not my concern, she should parent her own child more effectively. I'm a decent citizen so I'd look after the child, then return her safely when we went back to our caravan.

MudCity · 03/08/2016 07:15

YANBU. Send her back to her caravan at every opportunity. You are not responsible for her. Sounds like she is tagging along with you because she wants attention which she isn't getting from her own parents. Very sad but the boundaries need to be drawn.

redskytonight · 03/08/2016 07:48

This often seems to happen to us on holiday. My DC were playing the pool with a 3 year old one time. We wanted to go, but her parents were no where in sight. We didn't want to leave the child on her own in the pool, so we ended up waiting - almost an hour for parent to come back. DH nearly went ballistic at them.

TheDowagerCuntess · 03/08/2016 10:26

Because the Mum is obviously taking full advantage of the OP and family watching her kid when around the caravan (while she sunbathes), to the extent of not noticing she was missing for 30 minutes..

Her reaction to finding her kid down at the beach means the OP isn't going to be at all inclined to watch her around the caravan, either.

Mum's 30 minute peaceful sunbathing sessions are now history.

CodyKing · 03/08/2016 10:36

If she marched her back - she would've been away from her own children and in the sea! Much more responsible to keep her safe and her own safe.

It is not OP responsibility to watch others children.

So the child lied - to be with her friends - they do that! She knew her mom would give a monkeys!!

Hopefully this is the last you'll see of her - take her back every time she pops her head round the van -

QueenofallIsee · 03/08/2016 10:39

I agree that the woman was likely horrified by herself and took it out on you. You would hope that the shock of realising her child wandered off unnoticed for 30 mins is the kick up the arse she needs. I would be marching her back to her parents every single time she wanders from now on though- no more keeping an eye on and gentle reprimand, just back to Mum every time. It needs to be crystal clear that you are not responsible or willing to engage in order to be certain that the Mum will watch her

Middleoftheroad · 03/08/2016 10:40

We usually end up the free babysitting service on hol when parents go off which really pisses me off. We always seem to attract the kid that won't go away.
Last week we had one (10yr old though) and we went off in the end, harder with a 4yr old. This freeloader needs telling.

BiddyPop · 03/08/2016 10:58

I wouldn't take the child back - but I would send the child back to her DM. If the DM then comes down to the beach and leaves her, that's a different matter. But until you know that the DM has said yes, from the DM herself, I think you need to say something like "Hi sweetie, you know we love having you to play with my DCs but your DM needs to know where you are and take you to the beach herself. So just head back up and get her to bring you down, ok".

stitchglitched · 03/08/2016 11:02

Maybe I'm nasty but I'd have called the police. A 4 year old unaccompanied on the beach warrants that IMO, and the Mum deserves a fright.

VenusOfWillendorf · 03/08/2016 11:47

How do you know she didn't miss her DD within a minute or two of DD wandering off? She could have been searching for her frantically for the previous half hour (in playground, asking around other caravans etc.)? Maybe the fright was what made her arsey?
Though of course she shouldn't have taken it out on you, and you did the right thing by keeping the child with you; certainly you shouldn't have left your own kids unsupervised in the sea or sent a four year old off by herself (I'm a bit that others have suggested it).
Perhaps the other mum will apologise when she calms down

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread