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Original poster

To buy a house that teen sons hate?

214 replies

dewdrop68 · 28/07/2016 12:27

I'm post divorce and in the process of looking for somewhere to buy with my two sons, 17 and 19. The 19 year old works but doesn't have a car and relies on public transport. The 17 year old will go to uni next year. I'm stuck between buying two houses, house 1 is a new build, first phase, so we'll be living on a building site for two or three years, however, it's a good size, two ensuites, but has a tiny garden. Nice views onto the canal at the back though, close to train station, shops, short walk into town. House 2 is next door to my good friend, in the countryside, amazing views, lovely garden, sunny into the evening. However, it's quite small, away from transport, no shops. Sons hate it because it's too small amd they feel cut off. They will be leaving at home for the next few years and 17 year old will be back and forth from uni a lot. Should I listen to them or put myself first for once? Btw, house 2 houses rarely come up for sale .

OP posts:
Pisssssedofff · 28/07/2016 12:30

How long will you live in house 2 ? I plan to use public transport when I retire as running a car will be out of my budget. So that would be a consideration for me

HerRoyalNotness · 28/07/2016 12:30

Personally I wouldn't want to put my teenagers in the position of the 2nd house.

You could always move again once they've left home.

TheWitchwithNoName · 28/07/2016 12:31

Is house 2 a 3 bed? I do think (bearing in mind their ages) you should do what's best for you though.

Crunchymum · 28/07/2016 12:31

Would you be able to support DS1 learning to drive (and is there any option for him to have his own car? could he afford it? Or could you buy it and he pays for the upkeep?)

This might be the only way you can get him on-board with the house you clearly love.

Sooverthis · 28/07/2016 12:31

House 2 it sounds lovely and they will come and go from now til they leave home. I wouldn't hesitate.

nuttymango · 28/07/2016 12:32

House 1. We moved a few years ago and had a choice of a house in the country or town, we went for the town (funnily enough we back on to a canal as well) and it has much improved the quality of life for our teens.

Pisssssedofff · 28/07/2016 12:32

New builds can be tricky to sell though especially if you are one of the first on site, been there for that tshirt. I'd keep looking

squoosh · 28/07/2016 12:33

If you don't buy house 2 you'll be dreaming about it in 4 years time when your sons have flown the nest.

ceebie · 28/07/2016 12:34

You have to buy for YOU. Whilst I feel a little badly for your sons, soon it won't be their primary home any more. Can you make house 2 work for them in some way?

specialsubject · 28/07/2016 12:34

I'd be concerned about the new build - they drop in value, although at least this one has facilities nearby. And do check flood risk and build quality.

BUT it is going to be very difficult for your sons to visit the other one. That may be the idea (just kidding...) but you will still be the taxi service. What if your friend decides to move?

gleam · 28/07/2016 12:35

If you bought House 2, is it likely to be your forever house? If so, selfishly, I would pick House 2.

FlaviaAnsell · 28/07/2016 12:36

How will your sons get to work/school if there's no transport nearby?

I wouldn't want to live somewhere with no shops and no transport, so I can see their point.

How much is your friend being there a factor? Would you still want to live there if she announced she was moving away?

I think House 1 is possibly too big for your longterm needs, but House 2 is in the wrong location.

ceebie · 28/07/2016 12:36

Also 'away from transport': how far away? Completely cut off, or do-able but a pain?

davos · 28/07/2016 12:36

I wouldn't move where there is poor public transport. For me or my kids.

I drive, but so engines you need public transport. If the car is in the garage, you get an injury that means you can't drive for a short period etc.

Unless you are going to be driving your son to and from work, how will he get there?

davos · 28/07/2016 12:37

That should say 'but sometimes'

Not 'so engines' Confused

HouseworkIsASin10 · 28/07/2016 12:38

I wouldn't move just to be next door to best friend, what if you ever fell out? Be a bit awkward.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 28/07/2016 12:38

I would want my sons to live with me as long as they wanted and visit me often when they have moved out.

I wouldn't buy a house they disliked.

ReallyTired · 28/07/2016 12:39

I would buy the house you like the most and forget what your teens think. They will be leaving home before you know it and it they choose to hang around then they have no right to complain. Can your teens ride a bike? Is it really in the back end of nowhere? I think that house 2 is less likely to drop in value.

LotsaTuddles · 28/07/2016 12:39

If it's the building site that's putting you off house 1, we bought a new build 3 years ago (phase 4 I think), they're currently on phase 9/10 and as far as I'm aware they have around 2 years left.

It honestly hasn't been too bad, the roads are sometimes muddy, but they have one of those road sweeper Lorries a couple of times a day, the builders are nice and if they're driving diggers, forklifts etc always pull over for on coming cars (and they always wave when 2yo ds gets all excited about the digger when we're walking)

Plus it's nice and convenient for if you need anything, they're not actually that far. When we did our snagging list, it was all sorted nice and quickly and easily because everyone and all supplies were still on site. Whereas dh's aunt bought a new build right at the end of the phase and had loads of issues getting the builders back because they were on other jobs by then

Monkendrunky · 28/07/2016 12:42

My parents bought a house I hated while I lived with them, I moved out. All amicable obviously, their house is perfect for them but wasn't suitable for my needs at the time so I moved to a place that was, I'd never deny them their happiness, they put me first for long enough, and they helped me do up my place too, win all round!

Happypeas · 28/07/2016 12:42

Phase 1 new build nearly always increase in price as long as you are in the right area. I'm in a phase 1 house and phase three houses are up for £90k more than I bought mine for (been here 6 years)

Finola1step · 28/07/2016 12:42

I would look at this from a different angle. You have recently divorced. Is exH their father and are you selling the family home? If you are in that situation, then I would want to make sure that the next house could become to feel like the family home, where everyone is comfortable. So it maybe that you need to keep looking until you find somewhere that all 3 of you can call home.

dodobookends · 28/07/2016 12:43

I'd go for house 2 and buy bikes or possibly mopeds for the teens (and also accept that I would probably have to provide a late-night taxi service fairly frequently for several years).

whois · 28/07/2016 12:43

The 'sunny into the evening' house sounds lovely. I think you will regret the new build one.

But how much of a pain is it for public transport?

Will you have the money to help your boys learn to drive and help them with a car and insurance? Will you be happy to be a taxi for them and pick them up from the station when home from uni, drop them into town at night?

Missgraeme · 28/07/2016 12:44

So house 1 that they like will be finished when they have probably left home!!?? House 2 with your wishes in mind as u will be the one living in it the longest!!