To buy a house that teen sons hate?

[dewdrop68]

I'm post divorce and in the process of looking for somewhere to buy with my two sons, 17 and 19. The 19 year old works but doesn't have a car and relies on public transport. The 17 year old will go to uni next year. I'm stuck between buying two houses, house 1 is a new build, first phase, so we'll be living on a building site for two or three years, however, it's a good size, two ensuites, but has a tiny garden. Nice views onto the canal at the back though, close to train station, shops, short walk into town. House 2 is next door to my good friend, in the countryside, amazing views, lovely garden, sunny into the evening. However, it's quite small, away from transport, no shops. Sons hate it because it's too small amd they feel cut off. They will be leaving at home for the next few years and 17 year old will be back and forth from uni a lot. Should I listen to them or put myself first for once? Btw, house 2 houses rarely come up for sale .

Another vote for option three!
Neither of these houses seem right for your family as a whole. I just think that although as the mortgage payer your opinion obviously has the most sway, it does really need to be somewhere that your sons like too, even if it's not their very first choice.
Good luck with your search, I hope you find somewhere you can all be very happy. x

I'd certainly look a bit further. Not sure how old you are or if you're working but I'd be going for something I could live in for at least 15 years given the cost of moving. I'd want to have transport links beyond a bus and car. I'd like to have a place my DCs and B/GFs could visit easily even if one had to sleep on a couch. I'd like to be able to walk to the cinema/theatre and restaurants and a place my possible GCs would like to come and stay. It's a big ask. But banking on a friend living nearby - in a village which has one bus service - what else does it have? An active village shop/pub/post office/village life? good luck with your search but search on!

It's a tricky one. If you plan this for your 'forever' home you may eventually feel cut off at house 2 especially if you suffer ill health and can't get about. It sounds great for now.
House 1 will be less maintenance but unpleasant while all the building work is going on but it should be covered by 10 year NHBC or whatever it's called. Neither is perfect and perfection is hard to come by. Are there any good compromises nearer to shops/hospitals/public transport?

Once I went to uni (or got full
time job) I'd have been upset if parents moved to a house with no room for me to stay/live, but would not have expected double bed/en-suite etc.

As much as you may want sons to stay, they may suddenly decide to leave and it sounds like it's time to think about you :-)

That aside, new build on a flood plain? No way.

keep looking
flood plain - just no.

the other house, well, if you're okay with the fact that they might, like me, live in a town where there's no need for a car...and then the lack of car will make a total performance out of any visit - don't whine when they don't visit.

No. 2 for me. I wouldn't touch a new built on some estate with a barge pole. I don't care where it is. Horrible, soulless places. Your 19 year old is old enough to move out of your home (I was 18 when I did that) and your 17 year old will be just paying you flying visits when back from uni pretty soon. Your 19 year old definitely shouldn't be a deciding factor whether you buy the house you like or not.

just another thought, you obviously want your boys around but accept they will move on to their own lives in the not too distance future, which to me is a good reason for buying the house you prefer. However if it is really tiny for them now, what about if they find partners and want to visit or have children and want to visit in future years. I get that buying a house with a view to having family visit is not the best reason for a house purchase but it would play a part for me as I hope my boys will come home sometimes with or without partners and / or children. DS1 has moved recently and was aghast when I suggested he might not come home at xmas due to work / girlfriend etc. his face was a picture when he said no way Mum, I am coming home for xmas whatever! if DS2 feels the same then its nice to have the space to put them which is probably why DH and I will likely not downsize, saying that our home is quite modest anyway and since DS1 left I am loving the extra wardrobe space

I have never known a new house loose money.

We moved from town to a village when the dc were young- the village house had a huge garden & parking. Bus ran every few hours, last one at 6pm. It was a huge pain in the butt, we moved back into town (10 minute walk to the centre) but only 5 mins from lovely walks & countryside. I would not move to anywhere that dc had to rely on me for getting places.

House 2. Your boys will have fled the nest soon.

I also think that it is very important that teens feel that their home is their home

Yep.

An hourly bus is shit .

BlizzaringBuzzards you would think that about the NHBC ten year thing but no not everything is covered. We were in our house just over a year when our roof fell off and smashed into our car writing it off. Both us and our Landlady complained to the NHBC and they didn't want to know. We think this is because our house was built by the biggest builder of homes in the UK and they didn't want the bother (it's a long story). It cost our Landlady 3 grand to repair the roof and ultimately we had to claim off our own car insurance. The car that was written off was less than a year old and was much needed for hospital runs at the time.

Honestly don't bank on being protected by any organisation when moving into a new property. BTW we also had the council on our backs to get the roof fixed because some of the tiles were hanging over the pavement. It's a three storey so we couldn't just get up on a ladder to lift them off.

Personally I'd buy the new build. Bigger, everything done, very little maintenance, guarantees on works etc, close to amenities. Your DSs might well be spending large chunks of holidays with you even through uni and beyond, so having public transport would be very helpful for that. Plus if the country place is very small they will be fed up and under your feet and asking for lifts every 5 mins (holiday jobs etc). They can be more self-sufficient if they are close to amenities.

Re new builds being difficult to sell - not the case in my experience! If the area is decent and the site is close to town and transport links, that's a big plus (as opposed to huge new build estates in the middle of nowhere). Plus if it's bigger, as you say, it will suit young families/couples/single people investing for the future.

What's with the flooding people are mentioning? Is it because it's near a canal? A full survey will tell you of flooding risk etc. If there is a strong flooding risk that could be a no-no.

2nds wouldn't your landlady have been covered by buildings insurance? Isn't that what it's for?

I would buy the 2nd house, and 2 mopeds.

I just suggested the moped idea to my 16 year old and she refused for fear of looking a "twat" what is wrong with kids these days 😡

I don't think I'd take the house that wasn't suited to the children. Fair enough if they were 20 yrs old but at their crucial age I would just wait

That's a good point, can you drag your feet and hold on to the family home for just a couple more years, this may possibly be my plan, maybe still thinking about it

Thanks for your replies, you've all been really helpful. I'm looking into insurance for the new build, I've already been quoted over a thousand fit it! House 2 might be great in a few years. I can imagine coming home from work and looking out from the conservatory i intend to have built. It will be lovely. However, I know the boys will be with me for a few more years, one has a girlfriend who visits all the time and it would be cramped. I like being near amenities too. So some aspects of being in the country won't suit me. They are already passed off a bit with their dad who has bought a house with only one spare room, so I don't want them to feel rejected.
I'm now thinking house 3, whenever that might come on the market!

Could you take the single and give them the bigger rooms if it's the house you really want

Pisssedoff, my dd wouldn't touch a moped either, but a 50cc scooter is a different matter. I meant one of them, really. Much cooler.

Oh ok, I'm determined she's having one it makes my life 110% easier

One DS will be in Uni and the other is 19. He needs to learn how to drive or get a house share where he wants to live!!!!
We moved to the countryside 2 years ago and have never looked back. Village life is amazing! Our DC may hate us when they become teenagers but now aged 5&8 they can play out, go on lovely walks, have more independence. You've lived your life through you're kids ... Now it's your turn!