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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think these parents were irresponsible?

38 replies

RoobyAymeliaJowe · 06/07/2016 08:31

On Monday, the whole of year 6 (90 kids) went on a residential trip. First thing Monday morning one of the parents announced on facebook they'd been throwing up all night, as had husband and youngest child. Monday at 8:30 said parent is at the school gates to drop their Year 6 child at school for the trip.

Yesterday she had to go collect said child due to him throwing up.

Since then, 8 other children have had to be collected due to throwing up.

AIBU To think the mum should never have sent the child on the trip in the first place?

OP posts:
nutbrownhare15 · 06/07/2016 08:32

YANBU

Bestthingever · 06/07/2016 08:33

Yanbu.

Scuttle22 · 06/07/2016 08:33

YANBU

WreckingBallsInsideMyHead · 06/07/2016 08:36

It sounds like the year 6 child hadn't got ill til the trip... I can see why the parents thought they'd chance it but it's horrible for the child to be ill away from home and for the others they've now infected. They should've kept them home and maybe brought them later in the week if no symptoms appeared.

Magtheridon · 06/07/2016 08:54

They weren't just irresponsible, they were idiots !
Common sense says, if there's a viral infection / sickness bug making the rounds in your house - and every one has had it bar one person - then they're going to get it - so why as an adult - on the same day you're throwing up/ill - would you let your child go on a school trip - in close proximity to lots of other children ? Surely you'd wait a few days after your illness, to see if anyone else has got it?

So unthoughtful and they've ruined other children's trips !

StealthPolarBear · 06/07/2016 08:56

Well I agree that I wouldn't have sent the child. But the usual attitude is if you're not ill you go to school. You don't keep them off just in case they get ill. Which I also agree with. So I'm on the fence.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 06/07/2016 08:59

It's difficult. You can't keep a child off if they might have a bug, only if they have. Even though as a general rule you'd be contagious before symptoms showed.

Parents get moaned at by the school for keeping kids off and moaned at by other parents if they send kids in.

RaspberryOverload · 06/07/2016 09:00

If it was just a case of sending them into school as normal, then yes I'd send them in to school, but this was for a residential trip.

At the very least, it should have been discussed with the school, as there are now other children who had had their trips spoiled, when they must have been looking forward to this for a long time.

pippistrelle · 06/07/2016 09:02

You can't not do things on the off-chance that you might be ill. ("Sorry, boss, I'm not coming in on Tuesday because my husband was sick.") They might have thought that something they'd eaten was responsible for their illness, something that the Year 6 child hadn't eaten. And it's by no means certain that all members of a family will be struck down by the same bug.

If that child showed no symptoms at that stage, it was unfortunate, but not irresponsible.

NavyAndWhite · 06/07/2016 09:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

arethereanyleftatall · 06/07/2016 09:05

If I understand right the child involved hadn't been sick? I actually think that's fine. I don't think you can keep a child off if they might be poorly.
I don't think there's ever been an illness in our house that all of us have got.

MagicMojito · 06/07/2016 09:20

I'm dreading dd1 starting school in September. Parents really can't win.

You're an idiotHmm if you send your kid in (even if you just suspect that there's a possibility they might get ill ) but also face a fine and possible criminal conviction for keeping them off without actually being ill.

CrownofStars · 06/07/2016 09:20

In the last year of Primary School I kept my son off from his residential trip because the rest of the family had norovirus and I assumed he'd get it too. He never got sick, so I had him mad with me, the school mad with me and we lost all the money we'd paid out for the trip.
It's so hard to know what to do for the best.

diddl · 06/07/2016 09:24

I think that I would have sent the child but given the school a heads up.

If everyone else had been throwing up they were perhaps thinking that the school child wouldn't get it.

MagicMojito · 06/07/2016 09:27

I realise that its probably not going to go to court for a one or two day unauthorized absence but its still a bloody big threat hanging over you. Especially if you have a child/children you constantly seem to pick up bugs (like mine do, sob!😖)

EverythingWillBeFine · 06/07/2016 09:35

Well there was no way the parents would have been able to say if the child was ill or not.
Yes some family members were ill but it doesn;t mean all of them will be.

It's a bit like saying that if one child has chicken pox, then you should keep all the children of the house at home 'just in case' they get CP. Or for the adults of the family who haven't had it to not go to work, not to do anjy shopping etc etc
Because they will be contagious before signs and symptoms appear.

If the child had already shown some signs (like some nausea) then yes the parents were unreasonable. Otherwise... nope sorry.

monkeywithacowface · 06/07/2016 09:40

If the yr6 child hadn't been sick I would have sent him too. There has never been a sickness bug in our house that we have all ended up catching, usually just one of the kids, rarely both together.

Our Yr6 school residential was close to £400 so unless mine had actually been sick I wouldn't lose that money on a "maybe"

pippinandtog · 06/07/2016 09:43

Sounds like norovirus, the way it's spreading, but a difficult one, because, as others have said, the child involved wasn't ill when he set off on the trip, and parents couldn't reasonably have foreseen that he would be affected.
Shame about some being ill and having their trip spoiled.

WannaBe · 06/07/2016 09:48

Non of course they werne't irresponsible. The child wasn't ill. Therefore, he goes to school and even on the trip. You can't possibly expect a child to have been kept home just in case. What a ridiculous suggestion.

My DS has had stomach bugs in the past and I haven't been ill. Last year DS went to his dad's, came home and within a couple of hours he was throwing up and continued to do so for the rest of the night. EXH's dsd was also sick the next day, but their newborn DS wasn't, neither were any of the adults. I was ill by the weekend though and DP wasn't.

You judge the illness at the time, not beforehand.

Rhaegal · 06/07/2016 09:48

We've had bugs were only one child/person was affected.

Also had bugs when despite everyone else being very ill - one child hasn't gone down with it.

School isn't going to be happy if you keep a child of just in case. I know as their current school said that explicitly as apparently some families they have do and it screws up their attendance figures which are on the low side.

If a child of mine seemed fine - I'd send them on the trip as they'd be excited and we'd have paid money out - sometimes with schools that can be a huge amount.

It's also possible this child wasn't source of infection - other children could also have bug in their family but parents haven't put it all over fb or that other children going were already infected via school or other places so would have been sick anyway.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 06/07/2016 09:57

I think in THIS case where 3 out of 4 family members were already ill, I'd have probably kept the child off from the school trip as well.

If only ONE of the family had been ill by the morning of the trip, I'd have still sent the Y6 child along - BUT if any of the rest of the family had come down with it during that day, I would have made efforts to contact the teachers on the trip to warn them to keep my Y6 child as much away from others as possible; or gone to fetch them.

So yes, in THIS PARTICULAR case, I think the parents were rather irresponsible; but in general, I agree that you shouldn't necessarily stop a child doing something "just in case".

BertPuttocks · 06/07/2016 10:01

I don't think there's ever been a time where all of us have caught the same virus (touchwood!).

If I kept all of my children off school every time a sibling or parent was ill, their attendance record would be terrible.

It would also be a great way to encourage resentment of a younger sibling if you were to tell a child, "I know you've been looking forward to this residential trip for months and that you're feeling absolutely fine, but we're going to make you stay at home because your little brother/sister was sick yesterday."

ParadiseCity · 06/07/2016 10:04

I can see both sides but I think I would have sent my child - we've never had a sickness episode where ALL of the family have had it (thankfully) so if my child was feeling well I would expect they actually were well, iyswim.

WorraLiberty · 06/07/2016 10:04

Not irresponsible at all if the child showed no signs of illness before the trip Confused

There are 4 of us in this house and if 1 has a stomach bug, that's not a guarantee that everyone else will get it.

Mirandawest · 06/07/2016 10:16

I'd have sent the year 6 child.